Journal

Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss

Monday April 23, 2001 5:56p.m.
I wish that I could go back in time and smack myself for signing up for AP Bio, I'm so totally hating that class. until May 11th is over I have no life, that is the day that I take the AP US History exam. I still have to buy a suit for the prom and I also plan to buy a dozen roses for some of my friends as a kind of final gift. I want to get my way to 150lbs so I've started a new diet, that I would only eat one meal per week and when I'm feeling hungry I would just drink water, that means I won't eat any solid food again until next monday I just hope that I can pull it off. P.H.C for everyone.

Wednesday April 25, 2001 10:39p.m.
I was watching Dawsons Creek and I was just thinking about some of the rude comments that have been directed to be since last year like faggot this and homo that and I'm thinking like how rude, and most of these people I don't even know and they are going to say something like that. Hell even someone I know very well calls me a faggot, I have to admit that I'm kinda hurt every time someone calles me a fag or what naught but I don't know how to express them except by talking, but who can I talk to about such things, I don't want to tell my friends because I have this weird feeling that if I do tell them that it would just open up a whole can of worms and I can't afford any problems this close to the AP exams. When I see people directing such comments towards me after a while it does have an effect on me such as me knowing that part of me wants to cry but I just don't know how. I know it's there but none the less I don't know how to fully express it and that is what frustrates me the most. I'm hoping that before the school year is over that I'm able to fully express how I feel so that way it's less to have to carry around. P.H.C. for everyone.

Sunday May 6, 2001 4:12p.m.
I took the 1988 AP American History exam which was deamed the hardest one available since only 33% of the country passed it and I was so supprised wen I wound up with a 4, I was thinking MG let me check this over again but I was right I had a 4 on it, I was so damn happy with it that it filled me with a strong motivation to study for the exam day and night, night and day. 5 is the highest that you can get on it just so that you don'tthink that I was crazy for getting a 4. The 2001 exam will be on May 11 which is this friday and once it's over I'll be like so relived it won't even be funny. I don't plan to come to school the day before though so that I can have 24 hours of studying, then after the exam I'm heading str8 to the movies to see The Mummy Returns. P.H.C for everyone.

Sunday May 6, 2001 4:18p.m.
Just so that Idon't forget I had this done on friday but an just now posting it. it's called Beautiful Dreams: Never doubt the power of innocent dreamers, Never doubt the dreams of innocent children, Never doubt your worst nightmare.

Tuesday May 15, 2001 11:07a.m.
I took my AP American History test on friday and I think that I did very well for myself. The reason I'm doing this right now is because I've taken a day off of school to study for the AP Biology exam which is tomorrow. Okay enough with the trivial matters I just wanted to say that once this exam is done with I'll have my life back. I'm also glad that I'm not feeling as lonely as I was before even though I'm still single it's not bothering me as much as before. One thing I've come to notice is that the older I get the more intouch with my emotions I become, that's not to say that I'm an emotional person, on the contrary I'm so not, unless I feel totally comfortable around someone and that's not something that I do intentionally it's just something that I do, like breathing. I'll see if I can eloborate on this later but for now P.H.C for everyone.

Wednesday May 16, 2001 9:53p.m.
I completed the AP Bio exam and I swear that before it before I thought I would get a dash but after taking it I'm far more optomistic, mostly because of the essays, they were far simpler than expected. well P.H.C. for everyone.

Sunday May 20, 2001 7:24p.m.
I was jsut thinking, wow in just a coupple months I'll be in college and out of here, but over the past few days I've come to realize just how much I'm going to miss this place and the perple here, but life goes on. Next month is graduation, my how time flies. P.H.C. for everyone

Tuesday June 12, 2001 8:26p.m.
We just recieved our yearbooks today and I'm so happy to finally ahve them. I'm going to very deeply miss elmont H.S. and the friends I've made in my 2 years here. I'm almost out of space in the autograph section of the book for people to sign and it isn't even half of my friends. Ialso have to have my favorite teachers sign my book especially since one of them is retiring at the end of this year. I'm still preparing for the prom and graduation which is on the 23rd. I don't want to leave elmont but at the same time I know that I must in order to move on in life. To borrow a quote from a friend "Don't go through life, live through life" and that's what I must do. I luv all of my friends from elmont and wish them the best and more, I hope all of your beautiful dreams are achieved. P.H.C for everyone

Next Page--->



Never doubt the power of innocent dreamers. = It means that those that have beautiful dreams and will work so hard to see them through even if it hurts shouldn't be taken for granted. Never doubt the dreams of innocent children. = It means that those that haven't had their dreams fully accomplished yet or tarnished or don't fully see how hard it might be to see them come through shouldn't be un-acknowleged Never doubt your worst nightmares. = It means that you should never underestimate those things that might scare you into not accomplishing your dreams because just as they can harm your dreams they can also help you reach them even sooner and the taste of achiving the dream even sweeter if the nightmare is overcome, but if you allow the nightmare to scare you too badly or you act as thought it is trivial and not important then your dreams can wind up lost. But in the end even if you loose all of your dreams you will never loose your ability to dream, even when all hope is lost the ability to dream will always be there and can end up revitilizing your hops and dreams.