This was when our own small 'clique' of friends began to really take shape. As with most people, we all shared something similar that drew us together. In this case, it was being in the band. We had that same point of reference to draw on as well as being in many classes with each other as well. It didnt hurt either that we all generally got along pretty well with each other and enjoyed each other's company. The breakdown of the group favored the boys with there being roughly 2 girls for each of us boys, but that didnt really matter to any of us I think. We tended to view each other as a family more then as potential 'boyfriend/girlfriend' setups. Looking back now, I'm so glad that we did it that way as well. We never had to worry about being uncomfortable around someone that just broke up with us. I know that personally, I wasnt ready for anything like that at all anyway. We would go out en masse over the years ice skating, roller skating, eating huge amounts of ice cream, to the drive-in, to each other's youth groups and to the movie theaters once in a while. One particular time a few years later when we were all legal to drive, we were leaving one of the youth groups and decided that we wanted to go to the movies that evening. I cant remember what the choice was of the movies we were debating standing outside the theater. I do know that as the group of us was standing outside trying to decide, a policeman came up to us and told us that we couldnt be outside like that. We really must have looked dangerous......reasonably clean cut, quiet kids, half of them carrying bibles. A real threat to society there...... He simply said pointing to a sign mounted on a post by the theater that we were in a no loitering zone. To which the rocket scientist in our group responded somewhat indignantly, "But we didnt throw anything on the ground!!" I dont know who tried harder to keep from laughing, us or the cop. Shortly thereafter we decided on going to see the re-release of Disney's "Robin Hood".
Even as the years have passed, whenever we run into each other its as if time really hasnt passed that much. We werent interested in each other because of anything superficial or materialistic, we genuinely cared about each other and our families. We shared a lot of great memories and trips throughout our academic careers spent together that bind us together and little things that we did individually for each other as well.
Admittedly, during my first marriage I turned my back on many of my friends in an attempt to keep the peace in the house. That was perhaps the biggest mistake that I have made in my life to date. I lost that support group when I certainly needed them the most. In trying to keep from causing embarassment to myself and to them I ended up more alone and withdrawn then anyone should ever have to be. No apology to them would make up for how badly I felt during those years or how alone I was. I can only hope that in the years ahead that we can continue to meet during yearly reunion picnics and that we know that we each have a number of people out there that still care about each and will do what we can to help out if asked.
I made a huge mistake in neglecting friendships that had existed for years. Granted, each of my friends was in the process of starting their own individual lives as well, but those years are blanks to me when I was unaware of what was happening with many of them. Only recently have I been able to re-establish contact with a few of them, but a few of them are probably lost to me for good.
Dont ever neglect those that you know are your true friends. Anyone that has your best interests at heart wont try to keep you from contact with others. That is a way to try to control and manipulate your behavior. My current wife and I both realize that the other has many friends of both genders that existed before we met each other. If anything we try to encourage each other to keep in contact with those that are important to us. We all need to have a support group out there for us many times beyond just our homes. Who better to have there for support then people who know you better then anyone else?? Friendships are the one constant that many of us will have through life. They can be a rock when we need support......they can be a smile when we need one and they can share in the good times as well. Life at its purest level, cant get any better then that.
.............Well, then again a lottery win would be nice......