They finally settled on a nice bar that wasn't too sordid or unkempt for Jess's tastes, yet still served Strongbow.
“9 Strongbows.” Hannah ordered, slamming a fist down on the bar surface. She walked back over to the clean table Jess had chosen and sat down.
“What did you order?” Jess inquired.
“Something for everyone.” Hannah answered, sitting down next to Chris.
“Can't believe you're married.” Keanu said in a shocked tone.
“Shut it, Buddha-boy.” Hannah muttered through gritted teeth.
“Lots of famous people round here.” Billy commented, pointing over to the bar where there was a swarm of pop stars.
“It's getting ugly over there,” Dom pointed out, seeing Britney Spears poke Faith Hill in the ribs because she'd jumped in front of her in the queue.
The barman came over carrying a tray with 9 glasses on it.
“Your drinks.” He plonked it down on the table.
“What's this?” Jess asked, picking up her glass. “It's not alcoholic, is it?” She sniffed it.
“It's apple juice.” Hannah told her.
“Are you sure?”
“Totally. It's definitely apple juice.” Hannah knocked back her own glass.
“Ok.” Jess started drinking.
“So, what are we going to do with ourselves now?” Asked Chris J.
“Dunno. I might go do the hoovering.” Jess said, dully.
“Don't you DARE.” Chris B threatened.
“Well, actually, I meant Hannah and I.” Chris J said, looking a little uncomfortable.
“Hannah and ME, Hannah and ME,” Jess muttered, pained.
“Yes.” Hannah and me.” Chris J corrected himself. “I mean, we have married life to catch up on.”
“Hmm. Yes.” Hannah muttered, gazing at Keanu and wondering why she had bothered getting married.
“That's fine. I'll keep everyone else occupied.” Brian chuckled, evilly.
“Was that your leg, mate?!” Tim yelped, suddenly, turning to Dom, who was sitting next to him. Brian cackled from the other side of the table and fell silent.
“Well, I think it's a bit bloody cheeky of you, young man, striding in here with your rock stardom and your poor grammar, and expecting my best friend to leap to your beckon call.” Jess said, crossly.
“Yes, but at least I leap with style.” Hannah muttered.
Jess tried to think desperately of a reason for her not to go off with Chris. “You're not married technically anyway-“
“We could fix that,” suggested Chris J, turned to his ex-wife.
“What?” Hannah looked confused.
“Do you want to get married again?” Chris asked, sure of the answer. He was on a mission to prove Jess wrong now.
“Uhh…oh look! It's…David Beckham!” Hannah jumped up and ran off to the bar.
Chris looked confused.
Jess chuckled not-so subtly.
“Shut up,” Chris said embarrassed. “Maybe she's going to go over to get us a celebratory drink…”
Jess laughed harder.

Hannah sat on a bar stool with another Strongbow and wondered whether Jess would accept the idea of opening another planet to public visiting so she could escape this one.
Jess staggered over.
“Are you SURE that was apple juice?” She asked, after tripping over her own feet 24 times and sitting on a small dog she mistook for a stool.
“Yep.” Hannah sighed.
“Ooh.” Jess tried to focus on one of the 3 Hannahs she could see. “What's up with you?”
It took Hannah a while to realise that Jess was talking to her, since she was looking about 4 feet to her left.
“I just wasn't expecting Chris to turn up like that.” Hannah replied.
“Oh well, at least you get your rock star husband back.” Jess took Hannah's glass and finished it. “This apple juice is amazing.”
“Hmm. I'm not sure if I want a rock-star husband anymore. I'd quite like an arse-kicking, black-leather-clad The-One husband.” Hannah reflected.
“Yeah, well, we can't have it all.” Jess said, falling off the dog and into a pile on the floor.
“Hmm.” Hannah got up, stepped over Jess and headed for the bar door. Just as she reached it she heard a loud crunching, smashing noise behind her. She turned around and gasped…
“Oh! I'm sorry, ja?!”
A man, who appeared to be blue, had just apparated into the middle of the room to land upon Jess. The loud crunching, smashing noise was Jess's glasses, breaking.
“Oh you're KIDDING me!” Jess slurred, laying on the floor in a heap, glasses hanging off her face.
Hannah and most of the pub gasped as they realised that not only was this man blue, but that he had a tail.
“He's got a tail!” Hannah heard Brian gasp.
“Ja?” The blue man turned around and looked at Brian. “You've never seen one before?”
Brian shook his head.
“Yeah, well. You're wearing lipstick!” He continued.
Brian looked hurt.
“I'll have you know I'm a man,” the man continued in a German accent. “And my name is Kurt.”
There was a groan from the floor as Jess tried, trouble, to get up.
“I'm so sorry,” Kurt apologised, blushing. “Just stay still, I'll get you help!”
“No…must…get…up…” Jess struggled.
“Vhy?” Kurt inquired.
“So that I can faint with appropriate consequenshes…” Jess slurred. She staggered to her feet and, rolling her eyes, fainted and hit the floor.