Ten minutes later, Hannah poked her head out from under the sofa.
“Well…I don't think he's in here…” She began, crawling out from her hiding place.
“It should be safe…” Keanu appeared from behind the door holding a big pole.
“Yeah…” Billy and Dom started to climb out of the cupboard they had been hiding in.
“Nah, I think we should hide a bit longer.” Jess's hand appeared from the cupboard and dragged them back in. Then there was a cackling and Jess, Dom and Billy all ran out.
“BRIAN! You BASTARD.” Jess moaned.
“Heh.” Brian appeared from the cupboard too, grinning evilly.
“I think it's safe.” Hannah looked out the window.
Suddenly, there was a clanking noise from the doorway as Zane cocked the shotgun.
“ARGHHHHH!!!”
Hannah ran behind the curtain, quivering.
Brian, Jess, Dom and Billy all dived straight back into the cupboard.
Keanu stood however, defiant, in the middle of the room, still holding a pole.
“HA HA HAAAR! I'VE GOT YOU NOW, NEO-BITCH!!” Zane aimed at Keanu's head.
“Zane, I think you should reconsider before I pummel you to death with this pole.” Keanu said seriously.
“Ok.” Zane thought for a second. “Nope, still want to kill you.” He pulled the trigger on the shotgun and almost in slow motion, the bullet appeared from the end of the gun and ripped through the air.
Keanu stood, awaiting it, with the pole.
The bullet, exceedingly slow, crept through the air and finally arrived at Keanu's hand that he was holding up in a 'stop' gesture. The bullet bounced off Keanu's hand and dropped onto the floor.
“How the hell…?” Hannah inquired, watching from behind the curtain in disbelief.
“Antique gun.” Keanu explained.
“Piece of CRAP!” Zane exclaimed, throwing it to the ground in disgust.
Keanu twirled the pole in his hands around making swishing noises.
“ARGH!” Zane cried. “OK! YOU WIN! YOU CANT BE PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD!” Zane dropped his voice to a sinister growl, “But just you mind – I'll be back, boy…to KICK YOUR ARSE!” Zane ran out.
Hannah emerged from behind the curtains whilst Jess, Dom, Billy and Brian fell out of the cupboard.
“Damn it, I was enjoying myself in there.” Jess moaned.
“Yey! Keanu's President of the World! YEY!” Hannah started dancing.
“Well, I don't really want to be…” Keanu started, putting his pole down.
“I'll do it, if you want…” Jess started, mischievously.
“NO.” Hannah commanded. “Now go back in the cupboard and play with your toys.” Hannah pushed Jess back into the small space with Billy and Dom.
“OW!”
Camera bulbs started flashing outside.
“Looks like the media have heard about the fight for presidency.” Brian observed.
“Oh, no!” Keanu looked helpless.
“Get out there and talk to your public!” Hannah demanded herding him out the door.
“But, HANNAH!!” Keanu fell out of the door, hearing it slam behind him. He looked at around 100 press photographers and cameramen in front of him, surrounding the steps of Number 10.
“WHO'S HANNAH!?”
“IS HANNAH YOUR SECRET LESBIAN LOVER THAT YOU CHAIN TO YOUR BED EVERY NIGHT AND PERFORM EXPLICIT SEXUAL ACTS WITH??!”
Screamed reporters along with other such questions as: “Did you gauge out Zane Lowe's eyes with a pick-axe, or a stake?!!” and, “Is it true that Jess eats Extra Mature Cheddar?”
Keanu tried to put right any wrongs and clear up as many exaggerations as possible before going back inside and closing the door quickly. He walked, defeated, into the lounge area, finding Jess, Hannah, Billy, Dom and Brian chilling out on plush sofas next to a roaring fire.
“Hey, Keanu!” Hannah looked up cheerfully. “We're just planning how we're going to spend the taxpayer's money!”
Brian grinned. “Let's build in space!”
“What?!” Jess looked around in disgust. “No! There are much better ways to spend the money…like finding blue mutants.” She blushed and hid behind the Annual Budget.
Keanu sank into a nearby chair. “I can't do this.” He sighed.
“I can!” Jess leapt up.
“NO!” Everyone shouted in unison.
“Bastards.” Jess stomped off to sulk in Dom's lap (nice place).
“Let's start making world policies!” Hannah grabbed some paper and a pen. “Ok. Bigamy among members of Silverchair is now legal…” She scribbled some words down. “I also want anyone whose names are Natalie and Imbruglia to be instantly unable to marry…”
“Free DVDs of Tomb Raider for everyone.” Jess advised.
“Be quiet and let Hannah rule the world, there's a good girl.” Dom said patronisingly, patting her on the head.
“Free flights to Australia for anyone who happens to be ME…” Hannah continued.
“Hannah, I don't think these policies are going to really help mankind,” Keanu interjected, timidly.
“Well, are you going to do it, Mr 'I-can't-do-this'?” Hannah mocked.
Keanu looked at the floor.
“WELL?!” Hannah demanded. Keanu remained silent. “Right.” She turned back to her paper. “…free Silverchair CDs for all…”
Jess jumped up and snatched the piece of paper, beating Hannah over the head with it.
“OW! KEANU! Make her STOP!!”
Keanu sighed deeply, got up and shooed Jess away. “There won't be any violence in my house.” He said, sounding tired and not very forceful.
“Oh, so are you actually gonna pull yourself together and act like President?!” Jess said, wondering if she could get away with beating him over the head with the paper.
Keanu squirmed a little.
“Otherwise there'll be policies like this.” Jess held up the crumpled policy sheet that had the heading 'Really important things' with 'important' spelt wrong so it actually read 'Really impotent things'.
Keanu looked slightly more persuaded on the matter.
Jess added: “I could help your organisation. Kind of be the real President of the World where as you're the President that is seen…”
Keanu thought for a bit.” Are you sure you won't make any mad policies like Hannah?”
“Sure as sugar.” Jess smiled encouragingly.
“Okay…” Keanu agreed.
Jess smiled somewhat evilly and suppressed a cackle.