The two girls were bustled into another large studio with an audience waiting for them excitedly. There was another presenter alien waiting there with a set of cue cards and a microphone.
"Jess and Hannah! Welcome!" He announced.
"Er...hi." Jess said.
"Hello." Hannah added.
"Are you ready to play 'I'M JESS AND HANNAH; GET ME OUT OF HERE!'?"
"No." Jess replied, trying to run away and being rebuffed by swarms of aliens.
"GREAT!"
The audience whooped and applauded.
"The game is simple. You answer a set of easy questions, and if you get them right, you win our star prize. Get them wrong and you must perform a CHALLENGE. Ready?"
"Jesus. It's like Jango." Hannah commented.
"Question one: what colour pants was Hannah wearing when she accidentally smothered Daniel Radcliffe in Book Five?"
There was a silence.
Suddenly several people in the audience began tutting and laughing as if this was the easiest question in the WORLD.
"Wha...I...I don't know THAT!" Hannah said, aghast.
"How the BLOODY hell...?" Jess started, cross.
"We'll have to guess, J." Hannah said, mournfully.
"White?" Jess tried.
"CORRRRRRECT!"
"Thank GOD."
"Question two - how many pictures of Hannah does Jimmy keep in his wallet?"
Again, the audience rippled with comments of how easy this question was.
"This is SURELY a piss take." Jess said, crossly.
"He has pictures of me? In his WALLET?" Hannah asked, bemused.
"You don't know? Then sorry - times up - you have to complete a CHALLENGE!" The presenter said, with glee.
"Oh, GOD." Jess put her head in her hands.
"It would be GREAT if Chris came and saved us now." Hannah reflected. They both looked at the doorway expectantly. Nothing happened.
"Bugger." Hannah said. "You and your unreliable men."
"It's the REEF-tacular challenge!" The presenter announced.
The audience erupted into cheers.
The wall that had been stood very still (as you expect walls to do) behind the presenter, suddenly split in two and pulled apart to reveal what looked like a large swimming pool with coral lined along the bottom and sharks circling round.
"That looks like a large swimming pool with coral lined along the bottom and sharks circling around!" Hannah exclaimed.
"This is the large swimming pool with coral lined along the bottom and sharks circling around!" The presenter explained. "Otherwise known as the REEF!"
"You're kidding..." Jess realised the connection.
"That's RIGHT! You both have to revisit the ultimate challenge in Book One!"
"I thought the ultimate challenge in Book One was dealing with Ben Affleck." Jess muttered under her breath.
"No WAYYYYYY..." Hannah watched one of the sharks leap out of the water, wrap its jaws around a cameraman, then disappear once more.
"You have to enter the REEF, and, using the coral as your path, make your way safely across to the other side without being consumed by the man-eating sharks or the evil within."
"What's the evil within?" Jess asked.
The reef made a gurgling noise and some bubbles surfaced.
"Doesn't matter, I don't want to know..." Jess shook her head.
"First up to meet the REEF challenge is Hannah!"
"Oh ARSE." Hannah got down from her podium and reluctantly wandered over to the reef.
"THREE..."
The audience chanted.
"TWO..."
Hannah looked glumly at the reef.
"ONE!"
Jess joined in for the hell of it.
"GO!"
"I don't want to." Hannah sulked.
"TOUGH!"
A large mechanical boot kicked her up the arse and she fell, face first, into the water, managing to nut a shark in the process. She flapped about and tried to pick herself up. She wobbled about on a bit of coral for a while, trying to stable herself, before a large shark snapped at her heels. She leapt with a shriek onto another bit of sharp coral. The pool rumbled and the coral shook beneath Hannah's feet. Bubbles started to appear around her and the audience fell silent.
Hannah looked around nervously in the horrible silence.
"RARRRRRR!"
"ARGHHH F**KING HELL!!!"
Seven huge cut-outs of Jimmy popped up and scared the crap out of Hannah.
"You can do it, Hans!" Jess yelled, encouragingly. "Just remember the way he turns up in EVERY book!"
Hannah growled and leapt onto the first cut-out of Jimmy and began to tear it to pieces.
"STUPID-JOANNOU-MARRIAGE-WRECKING-TIT-FACED-GORGEOUS-B*STARD!" Hannah yelled, as she progressively attacked all the cut-outs. "AAAAAAAARGAOOOOAAA!"
"Go, Hans! GO!" Jess who whooped. Hannah was going at it so violently that even the sharks had stood (swum?) back.
Finally, all the cut-outs lay in shreds on the surface of the water.
"Right." The presenter alien said, slowly. "I...I guess you've passed that challenge."
"Yey." Jess announced. Hannah, now somewhat damp, returned to the podium.