Jess looked out of her allocated bedroom window. All she saw were ferns and choppy mountains. She decided to close the curtains – no offence to Scotland. She turned and fell over 2 surfboards. She stormed out into the open kitchen/living room.
“You've got such a load of CRAP!”
“Thanks! Eggs?”
“Uh…yeah sure.” Jess looked at the unearthly mess everywhere and sighed. Seemed like these boys needed their creativity curbed. Some people just shouldn't be given money, it's too bad for their health. She picked up a shirt and a jumper strewn over the sofa and threw in a nearby bin which she assumed to be of 'dirty-linen' origin, later realising it was of the 'rubbish' instead.
Suddenly the phone rang. Jess legged over and picked it up.
“Hello, Sean???” She sighed and handed it over to Dom who was standing nearby frozen in a position to pick up the phone.
“Oh, hi Orlando!”
Jess walked over to play with Billy's unkempt hair.
“You could make money out of this; it's very therapeutic.” She reflected, tousling it idly.
“Hmm.” Billy attempted to continue frying eggs.
“Have you ever considered a greased down side parting?”
“NO.”
Over the other side of the room, Dom hung up. “What did Orli want?”
“Money. No, only kidding.” Dom took a plate with an egg on it. “He wanted to know if he'd left his surfboard here.”
“What is it with you lot and SURFBOARDS?” Jess asked, looking out the window at the entirely un-surf-like conditions.
“Any word from Hannah?” Asked Billy, handing Jess a plate.
“Who? Oh. No.”
“And I trust you haven't heard from any odd men claiming to be your father?” Dom said suspiciously.
“Erm…no, course not.” Jess said, looking as guilty as a hobbit who had knocked a skeleton down a well.
Just then there was a knock at the door. Jess ran down to open it.
“Hello dear.” Jess yelped, it was Michael Palin, Jess's biological father. “I heard you were coming up here-“
“From who?”
“-But I think you should have fun if you'd like, just watch who you have it with.” He looked up the stairs behind Jess at Dom standing at the top with his hands on his hips. “Yes, well, I'd better be off home, but here's a little holiday money. Be good.” He kissed Jess's forehead and sped off in his taxi. Jess looked down in her hands - �10,000. She fell backwards with a last thought on how much profit he must make from such a small sphere of influence before she fainted.

That night, Jess, Dom and Billy sat in front of the TV with their dinners – roast lamb with all the trimmings.
“Let's do something exciting tomorrow.” Dom said.
“Yeah. We could go SURFING.” Jess said sarcastically.
“Why not?” Asked Billy, cheerfully.
“Because it's BLOODY COLD!” Jess replied. “And it involves wet suits.” She added, sulkily.
“Well, you've got ten grand to burn, so you can do pretty much whatever you like.”
“True. I could buy a…a…hobbit!” Jess said, realising her dream. Then she looked around at Billy and Dom and realised she didn't need to. “Oh.”
Dom changed the channel. There was nothing on.
“I don't suppose…” Jess started.
“What?” Asked Billy.
“I don't suppose you have…um…”
“Spit it out.” Dom said. “Not your food, of course. I taught you better than that.”
“Do you have the extended 'Fellowship of the Ring' DVD?”
There was a silence.
“Yes.” Said Billy.
“Fetch.” Jess said.
As Billy rose to search for it, Jess exclaimed:
“Did you notice Elijah slapped your arse during the black rider bit?”