After Billy explained to the policemen at length that Dom was neither a terrorist nor a sexual predator (just utterly mad) they went back to the desks (choosing a different one to last time) and got their tickets.
They made it to the boarding gate with a few minutes to spare.
“That was lucky.” Observed Jess.
“If I had a penny for every time Dom held us up by insulting the staff…” Billy started, still cross.
“You'd have…” Dom counted on his fingers. “89p.”
Billy handed the lady at the gate their tickets and proceeded to ignore Dom.
“If I had actually bothered to get one of those loyalty flying cards then I'd be rich with air miles.” Jess muttered.
They waited for their tickets to be checked.
“None of you are carrying any items for anyone else or have been given anything to take with you?” She asked.
“Well, I am carrying Dom's-“ Billy doubled over with pain as Jess elbowed him in the chest. “Nothing.”
They ran onto the plane and sat down in their seats.
“Jesus, it's only an internal flight.” Dom huffed.
The plane took off, flew for 5 minutes then landed. Jess had only just fallen asleep when Billy was badgering her to get up so he could get his luggage out of the overhead compartments.
“Good ol' Glasgow!” He was gibbering.
Jess blinked in amazement as an angry Scotsman went past, followed by a bawling Scottish baby and a bustling Scottish mother and an old Scottish man who was repeatedly saying: “Och aye the noo!”.
Jess turned to look at Dom. “Do you feel out of place?”
“Continuously.”
They stepped off the plane and walked down the stairs. The wind (blowing at 70mph – leisurely for Scotland) blew Jess's hair straight over her face.
“Oh, GREAT.” She reached out and blindly grabbed hold of Dom's shirt. “PULL.” She commanded. They passed a cow with huge horns, 7 sheep and a sporran with legs on their way to the gate. They finally ventured the building and Jess flicked her hair out of her face. She looked up and realised that Dom was nowhere to be seen and she had actually been holding onto the shirt of someone she didn't know.
“ARRGH!”
“There you are.” Dom and Billy appeared behind her.
“Who's that?” Asked Dom, pointing at the guy.
Jess went pink and tried to hide behind Billy, failing miserably.
They checked in and went to fetch their luggage.
“This thing has gone around at least SIX times.” Dom said after 15 minutes. “Where are our bags?”
“You've just got to be patient.” Billy told him.
“Patient my arse. Where does this thing go, anyway?” Dom hopped up onto the conveyer belt.
“DOM!” Jess tried to grab hold of him but the belt carried him off. “BAD HOBBIT! BAD!”
He disappeared through the shredded plastic hung over the opening in the wall with other unclaimed baggage.
“Oh, God, not again.” Billy muttered.
“What do you mean, AGAIN?” Jess asked.
“He does this from time to time…he'll come back around in a minute.”
Jess spotted their cases and grabbed them, hauling them off the belt.
“Well done.” Said Billy. “All we need now is our other piece of unwanted baggage.”
“Eh?”
“DOM.”
“Oh.”
The belt whirred and Dom appeared from the hole in the wall with a pile of bags.
Jess and Billy helped him off and dragged him to his feet.
“Did you find out where it goes?” Asked Jess.
“I've seen such INCREDIBLE things…” Dom started, wide-eyed.
“For the love of God, let's get to customs.” Billy said.

“Have you got anything to declare?”
“Yes! My undying love for Sean As-“ Jess cut short as Billy and Dom stared at her. “Austin.”
“Who?” Asked Dom looking minorly perturbed.
Jess waved him out of the way and walked through the security system. Billy went to follow her and got the packet of crisps he was eating pulled out of his hands and thrown in the bin by a security officer.
“Hey, I was eating tha-“ He looked at the officer's uncompromising face. “Hehe, nothing.”
Once outside, Jess realised just how deserted Scotland was. It was pretty accurate to the portrayed Scotland in one of her dad's 'Round the World' programmes. They stood in the taxi rank and Dom held out an arm. A couple of sheep trotted past and the one at the back of the line was run over by a taxi.
It died with a “Bah!”.
“Just as well Hannah isn't here.” Jess muttered, watching Billy pick the sheep up from behind the car and take it in the cab.
They travelled quickly to a small cottage in Glasgow and pulled to a halt.
“That'll be �35 please.”
“For a 5 minute drive?” Jess said, shocked.
“I got you dinner too.” The driver pointed at the sheep.
“Oh”.
Billy paid the driver and he drove off.
“So…you live here?” Jess asked.
“No. I just slaughter my victims here.”
“I…oh. You were being sarcastic.” There was a silence. “Right?”
Billy grinned evilly and Jess ran up the path after Dom.
“ARRGH!”
Dom opened the door and stepped inside.
“How the…” Billy started. Dom held up a key.
“Since when did you have a key to my house?!”
“I've had it ages.”
“You cheeky sod.”
“What? You have a key to my flat in London.”
There was a silence.
“That's OUR flat, Dom, that's why I have a key.”
“I'm tired of this conversation.” Dom marched inside, closely followed by Jess. The door closed.
“DOM! LET ME IN! YOU BASTARD! MY KEY'S IN MY BAG!”