The taxi pulled up outside
the hotel and Hannah hopped out. The hobbits were standing there
in their suits, waiting for her.
"YOU-" Hannah grabbed Sean and hugged him.
"Are the best." She turned. "And YOU-"
She slapped Billy. "Are sub-human scum!"
"Your dress is all ready upstairs – come on!"
Elijah pulled Hannah off Billy and dragged her inside.
"Flowers,
bridesmaids, food and music all under control." Sean briefed
her. "Only problem we have is there's no best man, but Chris
is sorting it out at the moment…"
"Wow, you're great Sean! And you don't even require any
pay!"
"Well, I figure this whole wedding is going to fall apart
unless someone organises something!"
"Thanks. I did hire a wedding organiser but she died of a
heart-attack for some strange absurd reason."
"I figured that. Right. Dress in there, sort yourself out.
I'll wait here for you. Be ready in an hour for the limousine to
take you to the church."
"Ok." Hannah disappeared into the room, then came back
a second later. "Where's Jess?"
"Unable to move."
"God. She normally doesn't drink at parties but I've never
seen her at a hen party before so…" She disappeared and
shut the door.
There came an ear-piercing scream from somewhere and they all
jumped.
"BILLY!" Dom slapped him.
"It wasn't me!" Everyone paused to listen.
"It's coming from upstairs!" Sean began running up the
stairs, closely followed by the others.
They opened the door where the screams were coming from to see
Jess standing with her hands over her ears.
"HELP!" She screeched, indicating to Otto, who
was playing air guitar.
"Who is that?!" Asked Elijah.
"It's Otto – he's about to KILL me with boredom."
"Why didn't you leave the room?" Billy asked.
"I CAN'T MOVE!" Jess exploded.
"Do you have an invitation?" Dom asked Otto
suspiciously. Otto showed him his invite. "Oh." Dom
turned to Jess. "Where do you know HIM from,
young lady?"
"SOFALAND, if you must know!" Jess hopped towards the
door, her legs as good as fused together in the tight dress.
"I TOLD you I don't want you fraternising with men,
Jess!"
"FRATERNISING?! ME?!" Jess held on to the door
to hold herself up. "What are the chances?! Now, will
someone come out here and help me down the stairs?!"
Hannah emerged from her
room just as Jess came rolling down the stairs.
"There must have been a more practical way of getting
me down!" Jess shouted up at the boys.
"Sorry!" Sean called, running down the stairs followed
by Elijah, Billy, Dom and Otto.
"So you should b- ooh, Hans, you look great!"
"Thanks." Hannah looked up and saw Otto. "OTTO!
What are you doing here? It's bad luck for the bride and
groom to see each other before the wedding!"
"You're marrying CHRIS." Jess whispered to her.
"Oh. Yeah."
"How are you?" Asked Otto.
"I'm-great-you-loo-nice-how-are-things-and-how's-your-dad-and…"
Hannah took a deep breath. "Can you turn into a llama for
me?"
"Only in SofaLand, I'm afraid." Otto said.
"Shite."
"The car's here!" Sean called.
"Right." Hannah grabbed her bouquet from the table.
"Let's roll." She
pushed Jess, who rolled efficiently down the stairs, past
reception, round the revolving doors and into the back of the
stretched limo through the door that was held open by the4
driver.
"Hello hello!" Hannah grinned at the driver before
stopping dead in her tracks. "JIMMY!"
"Hi!"
"CRAP!" Screamed Jess, who was re-organising herself in
the depths of the car somewhere.
"What-?" Hannah started.
"Well, I figured this was a good way of making money whilst
I recreate…"
"You're an idiot." Jess said, popping her head out to
pull Sean, Elijah, Dom and Billy in.
"So who are you marrying?" Jimmy asked, pulling away
from the kerb.
There was a tense silence from the back broken by Billy.
"Why's there a tense silence?"
"Your cousin." Hannah said.
"What, not Brad?!"
"Uh…"
"Seth?"
"Uh…no."
"Mary-Anne?!"
"No, Jimmy. Christ!"
"Oh." Jimmy pulled up beside a church.
"That makes sense. Well, have a nice wedding, give Christ my
congratulations and I'll see you at the reception!"
"Err…mate, wrong church." Otto said from the
darkest depths of the limo where Hannah was poking him to turn
into a llama.
"Go on. Just for walking down the aisle."
"I told you! I can't! Not without Lee's
permission!"
"Ah. At the reception then…he'll be there."
"I hope he doesn't want my sofa's cow back…bringing it
back was such a hassle but at least he doesn't keep popping up
for tea." Jess thought aloud.
Elijah, Dom, Sean and Billy looked at each other in confusion.
Suddenly there was a knock at the window. Billy, after finding
the switch embedded in gold, opened the window.
"DAD!!" Hannah screamed. "My one and only REAL
one!!" She beamed.
"Hi." Hannah's dad smiled. "I figured you weren't
getting to the church successfully."
� Jess and Hannah 2002