
Back in the hotel, Jess sat
wrapped in a duvet that the actors had given her. Hannah sat next
to her feigning amongst other things; concussion and death.
"Where are you girls gonna stay?" Sean asked brining
Jess a cup of tea and Hannah a glass of fruit juice.
"God knows."
Said Hannah, downing her juice and hiccupping.
"I can think of somewhere we could stay if we bribed the
owner with Elijah's phone number." Jess said, sipping her
tea. "But the harassment she'd plague him would probably get
us ALL put in jail."
Jess' mobile phone, sitting on the table over the far side of the
room, rang. Billy, who was nearest, picked it up.
"Who is it?" Asked Jess, thinking of several people she
didn't want to talk to.
"Urm...Dad One." Billy replied.
Jess groaned and reached out to take her phone. Dom turned away
in resentment.
"Hi dad. NO. Yes. No. Yes. No. NO. What? Oh,
maybe." Jess looked up at her homeless friends.
"Listen, dad, is the spare room still spare?" There was
a pause. "Oh, fine, you bastard!" She pressed
the red button to end the call.
Twinkles, sitting on a table in the corner, nodded in approval at
Jess' choice of words.
"I take it he wasn't up for offering you, me, five
guys and a house-elf a room." Hannah said.
"No." Jess sighed.
"Now, if I was your dad, I would have offered
you a room
or several." Dom muttered, bitterly.
"Yes, well you're not, so you can't."
Jess said firmly.
"We could always work extra shifts at the hotel to pay for a
room." Hannah suggested.
"But we'll have to work treble-time, or-" Jess paused
and looked at Hannah. "The wallet!" She exclaimed.
"Eureka!" Hannah pulled Dom's wallet from her back
pocket.
"Oi!" Yelled Dom, feeling in his coat and finally
realising it had gone.
"To the hotel!" Jess and Hannah ran off, closely
followed by the boys and Twinkles.
Hannah pinged the bell on
the desk at reception. The lady behind the desk looked up
immediately, recognised them, then took 5 minutes to dust her
desk before looking up.
"You still here?" She said. "What's the matter?
Lost someone's luggage again?"
"Actually, no." Hannah smiled sweetly.
"We're here to rent a room."
"This isn't a motel, you know."
"Actually, I do know." Said Hannah, then she
lost all her fancy words and gave up. "GIVE ME A ROOM!"
"I think my friend meant to add, please." Jess
said, stepping forwards.
"Oh, and what are you going to pay with, love?!"
The receptionist sniggered and flicked her hair.
"I wouldn't complain you get the same amount of pay
as us." Jess noted.
"Take your pick." Hannah held Dom's wallet upside-down
and shook it. 5 credit cards fell out. "Ok, Barclays, Visa,
Solo, American Express or Natwest
"
"On the double." Dom said, poking his head over
Hannah's shoulder, standing on tip-toes. He really wanted his wallet
back before Hannah went on a shopping spree.
"Ok
a room for two?" The receptionist asked,
looking a bit pissed.
"Yes." Said Hannah. "TWIN, not
double." She added quickly, looking at Orlando and back
again.
"Ok
fourth floor, 472." The receptionist scowled
as she handed over the key. Hannah considered that this sad woman
would be returning to her one-room bedsit this evening and
grinned, snatching the key.
"Thank-YOU." Hannah ran up the stairs,
squealing: "I'm getting the biggest bed."
"She probably will," Reflected Jess, starting up the
stairs with the others. "'Cos I ain't runnin'."
After a brief tussle with
Dom, who wanted his wallet back, Hannah had settled herself
comfortably in their room and had called room service 40 times.
There was a knock on the door and Jess got up to get it, slightly
annoyed as she had been the one to answer all of Hannah's
40 room service deliveries.
"WHAT IS IT NOW?! ANOTHER HUMOUS SANDWICH? MORE CHIVES? OR-
oh, hi, Chris."
Chris was standing outside the door with a plaster cast on his
left leg, a neck brace on and his arms clinging on to a pair of
wooden crutches.
"Is Hannah in?" Chris mumbled through his neck brace.
"Yeah, hang on." Jess closed the door and went into the
bedroom, standing in front of the TV.
"Jess! I can't see!!" Hannah whinged. "How do you
expect me to watch the TV when you're standing in front of
it?!"
"Maybe I'm standing here for a reason." Jess
said in her best primary-school-teacher voice.
"Don't make me get up there and move you!" Exclaimed
Hannah, staying put on the bed that she had been sat on for the
past 6 hours.
"'And coming up next on Jerry Springer
transvestites
who want their revenge!'" Came the sound of the TV, muffled
slightly by Jess' arse.
"OH GOD!" Hannah sprang up. Jess gave her a push to the
door and Hannah fell onto it. Since she was up, she decided to
open it just in case any hunks were outside.
"Oh, Chris!" Hannah exclaimed. "What a lovely
surprise! Jess didn't tell me you were here!" Hannah heard a
distant slap of what sounded like a hand to forehead connection. "Come in
I can get us
something from room service." Hannah said, guiding Chris in.
Somewhere in the bedroom, Jess screamed.
"So, where've you been?" Hannah enquired, smiling
sweetly. Chris looked at his casts and braces, then at Hannah.
"Hospital."
"OH." Hannah sighed. "Caught up in
the explosion after the premiere, eh?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Yeah. That was all because of my old internal computer
system. He killed himself for me." Hannah acted as if
she was just recounting a shopping trip or some other normal
activity. "Anyway, can I get you a drink?" She opened
the mini-bar and screamed as she saw Twinkles inside, surrounded
by empty bottles.
"Go 'way. Twinky drinky." Twinkles slurred, pulling the
door shut.
"Ah. Well, never mind, I can order something from
room-"
"ARRRGH!" Jess, who couldn't take it any more, came
running out of the bedroom. "I've had enough!" She
opened the door. "I'm going downstairs to see dad!"
"Who?!" Hannah looked up in surprise.
"Um
the guys, I mean. Bye!" Jess disappeared.
"Odd girl. But she doesn't get on the furniture and she's
house trained." Said Hannah chattily to Chris. "Come sit on the
couch
" Hannah patted the cushion next to her.
"How can you afford this room?" Chris asked
incredulously.
"Used Dom's wallet." Hannah said. "But his is nothing
compared to yours." Hannah was practically on Chris'
lap, albeit a 5-seater sofa.
"Look, I came here for a reason Hannah." Chris said,
pushing her down the sofa.
"You did?" Asked Hannah.
"Yes. And that reason is that I can't see you anymore."
"Oh." Hannah sniffed. "Why?"
"Daniel's orders." Chris said, avoiding eye contact.
"Oh." Hannah didn't quite know what to say or do. "Why does he have a
problem?"
"He says you're using me to make him jealous."
Hannah's face froze for a few seconds before bursting into forced
hysterics.
"Ha ha
ha, ha
ha ha WHAT?"
"Well, I tried to reason with him, but then I remembered how
you went to the cinema with that Orlando guy, and that other guy
you were talking about
Colin?" Chris shuffled his feet.
"And then, then
there was this
" He
held up a newspaper headed:
'DOM AND HANNAH'S PASSIONATE LOVE-AFFAIR AND SECRET LOVE-CHILD.'
Hannah had hardly taken a breath when the phone rang. She picked
it up.
"Hello?"
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE PAPERS?!" Dom's voice
screamed down the phone, loud enough for even Chris to hear.
"MY MUM IS GOING TO KILL ME!"
"I'll sort it, alright?!" Hannah hung up. "Look,
Chrissy-baby, you've got to trust me on this one I know it
looks bad
"
"It looks bloody awful." Said Chris, looking sceptical.
"But there's only the one guy for me
and he ain't an
elf, a computer or a hobbit." She sighed happily. "He's
a ROCK STAR." She paused and looked at Chris expectantly.
"Oh, oh, and his name ISN'T Daniel. How about that?"
� Jess and Hannah 2002