Jess looked in the mirror
and straightened her hair. There. Done, and ready for work.
"Hannah! Are you ready for work?" Jess walked to the
lounge.
"Hang on!" Hannah came speeding into the room in a very
short skirt and a crop top.
"HANNAH!"
"What?"
"You can't go to work like THAT!"
"Why not?"
"Because…that's not a very 'worky' outfit."
"What would you suggest?"
"I don't know…I guess we might get a uniform when we
get there."
"Ooh, I have a naughty French maid outfit
somewhere…"
There was a loud beeping noise and Colin's voice shouted:
"Wear that! Wear that!"
"Hannah, NO." Jess commanded, looking at her
watch. "We're going to be late. Just get a jumper on and
let's go."
Five minutes later, Jess
was dying.
"Stop! Stop!" She cried, almost falling over a bin.
"Let me rest!" Jess sat down on a park bench,
for once ignoring the bird shit.
"Come on, Jess! We've hardly left the front door! In fact,
the hotel is just there-" She pointed to the cowering
grandeur that was the large, extremely rich hotel.
"Oh, that's alright then." Jess got up and tottered
over to the marble steps with rich red carpet draped over them up
to the revolving doors lined with gold.
Hannah checked her teeth in them before trying unsuccessfully to
push them anti-clockwise. Jess pushed them the correct way round
causing Hannah to fall over backwards. She walked up to the
reception desk and pinged the bell even though the receptionist
was standing right in front of her.
"Yes?" The receptionist asked wearily, giving Jess an
annoyed look.
"Hi, my friend and I," Jess indicated to Hannah who was
crawling through the doorway with a large lump on her head after
the collision with the door. "Are starting work here today.
We're doing random jobs."
"Oh, yeah." The receptionist looked down at a sheet of
paper. "We've been expecting you."
"Really? WOW. Are you psychic?" Asked Hannah. Jess
kicked her.
"Your first job is sorting out the luggage we've received
ahead of the arrival of guests and putting it in the correct
rooms."
"I can do that!" Hannah leapt up and headed for a pile
of luggage standing on a trolley by the lift.
"Um, do you have anything in the administrative line, or
anything clerical-" Began Jess, but she was cut off as
Hannah grabbed her arm and dragged her over to the bags.
"Ok, this tweed set of
suitcases go up to room 732." Hannah threw them on a large
trolley and added, "Apparently."
"Why would someone need this many bags?!" Jess
exclaimed, kicking one of them.
"Different clothes types?" Hannah suggested.
"Yes, if you're INSANE."
There was a silence as they picked up the last two bags: a large
suitcase and a small case which Hannah struggled with and
eventually dropped. It crashed onto the floor, flying open and
spreading its contents (502 mascara brushes) over the marble
floor.
"What the hell?" Hannah started.
"Either someone extremely rich or a make-up artist is
staying here."
"Or extremely ugly…" Hannah reflected, picking the
expensive makeup up.
"Ooh…I might have one of those." Reflected Jess.
"What if she counts them? She'll get suss if there's only
501 brushes."
"She's not gonna COUNT them, Hans."
"Or HE." Hannah checked her list. "This bag
belongs to a Mr E W Banks."
"Creepy." Jess concluded, zipping up the bag
hurriedly and chucking it onto the trolley. "Let's get this
lot up to the seventh floor."
Hannah jangled her keys as
they left the lift.
"This is great! The master key! We could sneak around any
room we like."
"Hannah, we've been placed in a position of trust and we
have to show the residents RESPECT." Jess eyed the honeymoon
suite. "Oh, ok, just this one!"
Hannah hurriedly
fetched the correct key from the heavy key ring and jammed it in
the door lock whilst Jess looked nervously up and down the
corridor.
"And we're in!" Hannah flung open the door and
Jess and her stood in awe, gaping around the room. This room they
were looking at however, was only the living room with 3 plush
red sofas made of velvet and a TV screen the size of a Devonshire
cow on the wall.
Jess ran over to the nearest door and pushed it open to reveal a
hot tub, eight-feet wide with mirrors as walls.
"Holy pants."
"Bagsy bouncing on the four poster bed!" Hannah ran
through to the bedroom and leapt onto the king-size mattress.
"Hannah, no!" Jess ran forward and pulled her
off the bed. "We're only taking a look, we're not destroying
the place!"
"Oh, but JESS…"
"NO, Hannah." Jess dragged her away from the
bed. "Look, you've mucked up all the sheets!" Jess was
about to go and remake the bed when there was the ominous sound
of a key turning in the lock. "Oh, crap!" Jess grabbed
Hannah and yanked her into the nearby wardrobe. She pulled the
door shut just as the main door opened and two figures entered
the room…
Jess and Hannah listened through the small gap in the door as a
female and a male voice sounded.
"Well, whoever it is, they aren't gay." Hannah
whispered.
"Kill me." Muttered Jess. "Anything's better than
being locked in a cupboard with you."
"Pardon?"
"I said…anything's better than being locked in a
cupboard with this shoe." Jess pointed at something she was
sitting on.
"Jess, that's a coat."
"Oh well…"
Suddenly the doors were flung open by Sarah Michelle Gellar.
"WHAT?" She screeched.
"Why hello…" Said Jess, falling out of the
cupboard.
"We were just cleaning your hangers…" Hannah said.
"What are you doing in our ROOM?" Sarah yelled,
scowling at them. "You wait until Freddie gets here."
"No, look, we're sorry – we're staff, we work here. We
were bringing up luggage but we must have got the wrong
room…" Jess trailed off.
"Well, just get out!" Sarah turfed them out and slammed
the door.
"Phew! I think we got away with that one!" Said Hannah,
as they ran down the corridor towards their baggage trolley.
"Yeah, don't you EVER get me into trouble
again!" Jess shouted. "I don't know who that woman was,
but we do not want to piss off any more guests.
"She looked kinda familiar," Began Hannah.
"Well you must see a lot of angry people, with the way YOU
behave," Jess muttered. "I guess they all seem the
same!"
"Alright, calm down!" Hannah picked up her clipboard
again. "We didn't' get into trouble, did we?"
"Not THIS time."
"Exactly. Now, where were we? Ah, Room 732.
"Ok, so we've got
to deliver 12 suitcases to a Mr…" Jess turned over the
label and read the scrawled handwriting. "Looks like this
person never went to school." Jess grumbled.
"Mr…er…T…Cruise."
"Ha, that's funny." Said Hannah absent-mindedly.
"What is?"
"-"
"Your face?" Hannah shut her mouth and frowned at Jess.
"No." She replied. "But it can be quite
comical." She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out.
"No, sounds like a famous actor – Tom Cruise."
"Oh." Jess didn't know who that was and had no
intention of finding out – the handwriting finalised her
decision.
They bumbled along to the door and Hannah fetched the correct
key. They opened the door, flung the cases in and shut it
quickly.
"Go on, do it again." Hannah said, nudging Jess.
"No, I'm tired."
"Go on." Hannah pleaded.
"No."
"Oh just a short distance."
Jess growled. "Alright, get on."
Hannah jumped excitedly onto the trolley and Jess ran, pushing it
down the corridor.
"What's going on here?" Asked an American voice behind
them. A blonde woman (who looked a bit like Madonna) was looking
at them angrilly.
"Ooh. Hi." Jess stepped away from the trolley.
"Can I help?"
"Yes, you can make less noise!" The woman snapped.
"My husband was up directing on a night shoot last night and
he's trying to sleep!" She marched off and
slammed the door.
"Oooh. What a bitch." Said Hannah.
"Yeah. Look at her, pretending she cares so much about her
husband…when she's in such an expensive hotel – she's
blatantly just a material girl."
"She looks like she's just stepped off the cover of
Vogue." Hannah agreed.
"Don't worry about it, Hannah…she'll DIE…another
day." Said Jess, looking slightly evil and pushing the
trolley back into the lift.
� Jess and Hannah 2002