"Waitressing? I don't
WANNA waitress!" Hannah whinged. "What if I have to
serve people with MEAT or something?"
"You'll have to get over it," Said the Facilities
manager, handing them two uniforms. "Now go and change. You
need to look IMMACULATE – we have some very important people
dining her tonight."
She walked off, leaving them grumbling away in the corner. They
started to get changed into the uniforms which consisted of a
long black skirt, a white shirt and a tiny not-at-all-useful and
only-for-decoration frilly white apron that was steamed to 100
percent smoothness, ready to be tied around their middles.
"Thank God we don't have any of those silly, small hats you
sometimes see waitresses wearing." Jess said.
Suddenly the Facilities manager burst into the room. "Take
these and WORK!"
Jess and Hannah took the two hats with a sigh and wandered out
into the kitchen where pandemonium appeared to be taking place.
"Wonder who's so important." Said Hannah, putting on
her hat and trying to hitch her skirt up. The main chef appeared
to be having hysterics whilst the Facilities manager burst into
sobs.
"I thought this place was professional." Jess
exclaimed, snatching a tray from a waiter's hands and walking out
into the restaurant which was slowly filling with lots of
glamorous looking people.
A tiny note on the edge of the tray said 'Table 7'. Jess glanced
around. All the tables looked the same. None of them looked
'seveny'.
Jess looked over to the kitchen door. Just next to it was a mini
map of the restaurant, each table labelled with a number. Jess
realised table 7 was the 3-seater by the window. Still balancing
the tray on one hand she glided over. She reached the window and
began to place down the plates and bowls.
"One vegetable and lentil soup, no cream," She started.
"One 10oz steak and chips and one large spaghetti
carbonara." Jess looked up to smile and tell the guests to
enjoy their meal but stopped short when she saw their faces. She
dropped her tray. "Oh, GOD!" Hannah came scuttling up
behind her.
"What is it? OH GOD!"
Silverchair looked up
in shock.
"Oh and I'VE lost my appetite." Said Ben,
throwing down his fork and steak knife.
"It is you!" Hannah squeaked, almost dropping
her tray.
"Good, so maybe that cow's back-side can be
re-attached." Daniel said.
"It IS you!" Hannah repeated, going red.
Ben burped.
"It IS YOU!!!" Hannah screamed. "Can
I have a tip?" Hannah batted her eyelashes.
Jess walked off whistling a tune and then started singing:
"Hey ho, to the bottle I go-" The door swung shut
behind her as she disappeared into the kitchen leaving Hannah
standing speechless in front of Silverchair. (That Australian
rock group, previously featured in Book One).
"Where the hell have you been? Why the hell haven't you
called? Which night did you arrive here? Who put your luggage
into your room? And HOW have I not seen you until now?!"
Hannah sat on Daniel's lap to recover from her hyperventilation.
"We've been busy – you haven't been much better. We
tried to get a place on your island but then we heard it had been
BLOWN UP!" Chris exclaimed.
"We COULD be both in the wrong," Said Ben,
quietly.
"SHUT UP, BEN!" Everyone shouted at him. He went red
and downed his glass of wine.
"Excuse me!" Jess came bustling out of the kitchen with
27 plates balancing on various parts of her anatomy. "Do you
think you could HELP, Hannah?" She yelled, struggling over
to table 3.
"Oh, yeah, sorry." Hannah took one small soup bowl from
the top of Jess' head and walked off towards table 6.
"ARRGH!"
Jess fell over, somehow
managing to scatter all the plates to the correct tables and not
spilling anything before going arse over tit. She ended up
sitting at the foot of a table seeing stars.
Yes, it was Kylie Minogue, Natalie Imbruglia and Chris Martin.
Jess didn't register, got up and dusted herself down.
"Hannah?" She emphasised through gritted teeth.
"Work, now."
Hannah, much to Daniel Johns' reactive arthritis prone lap's
benefit, got up and begrudgingly followed Jess back to the
kitchen.
"This is so unfair." Hannah exclaimed.
"What is? Having to work when Silverchair are in the
restaurant?" Jess asked sarcastically.
"Exactly."
"Hmm." Jess had lost interest. This food she was
serving sure looked appetising.
"You wouldn't find it fair if the entire cast of 'Beyond the
Fringe' from 1961 were sitting out there."
"Let's face it," Jess turned to Hannah. "They
wouldn't be, would they? Because they're nearly all DEAD."
She walked off with a tray load of food for table 17.
"It was only a rhetorical question, no need to get so
pessimistic." Hannah sighed.
� Jess and Hannah 2002