The scary S.S.S.S builders knocked up an
airport in about an hour and a half. No-one could work out how
they were doing it.
Jess was sitting on the beach, a laptop in her lap, typing in
html coding furiously to advertise their island.
Hannah was
strolling through the banana trees at the top of the beach,
sipping a cocktail with an umbrella in the glass. This made it
quite hard to drink; she kept poking herself in the eye. “Nearly done?” she asked Jess, peering over her
shoulder.
“Yes…” Jess hit the ENTER key. “Aaaaand…
we're online.”
There was a beep and a light came on in the
corner of the screen.
“Ooh, an e-mail. That was quick,” said Hannah, taking
the laptop from Jess. “Our first booking!” she
exclaimed.
“Who is it?” Jess asked.
“It's… Kate
Winslet and Mia, her baby!” Hannah said, shocked.
“Apparently her divorce with Jim was messy… she needs
somewhere to stay away from the press.”
“Well, here's the best place,” smiled Jess. Everything
was going perfectly. Even Tyke seemed to be settling down –
he hadn't bothered Jess for a good 24 hours.
There came another beep from the laptop, shortly followed by a
third.
“David Bowie and Michael Owen,” Jess commented.
“Yes to the first, no to the second,” said Hannah.
“No to the first, yes to the second,” suggested Jimmy.
“No to both?” Ian said.
“Yes to both,” Toby said.
“Oh, Jesus,” said Jess. “Yes to both unless
someone is thoroughly against someone.”
Everyone
nodded.
“Hannah?” Jimmy wandered
aimlessly into the lounge of their beautiful beach hut.
“Not here,” said Jess, who was sitting on one of the
sofas, reading 'The Illustrated Guide to Howard Katz'.
“You're still really boring, aren't you?” exclaimed
Jimmy in amazement.
“Yes. I pride myself on it.”
“So where's Hannah?”
“Swimming pool.”
“And the others?”
“Tyke is weeing up a tree over there,” Jess pointed.
“And Toby and Ian are coconut hunting.”
“Oh.” Jimmy
sat on the sofa opposite Jess and twiddled his thumbs for a
while.
“Hello!” Hannah called, running past the hut entrance
and disappearing straight away. Jimmy had made a move to get up,
but since Hannah had run off he couldn't see the logistics in
bothering.
Suddenly Cameron Diaz walked in and took off her straw hat,
sitting down next to an open-mouthed Jimmy.
“Oh, hello. Didn't know you'd arrived,” commented Jess.
“I've been meaning to see 'Charlie's Angels' – Hannah's
got the DVD, but I still haven't got around to it.”
Cameron
smiled, mildly embarrassed.
Jimmy was practically drooling. “I've seen all your films… they're fantastic. You're
fantastic… actress, I mean,” he added hastily.
Cameron
smiled once more at the gaping Jimmy and turned back to Jess.
“You're a bit of a legend around here! It's a beautiful
island! What's it called?” she laughed at her own ignorance.
“Jesshannahtropolis,” smiled Jess. “Silent
h's.”
Their came a shriek outside the entrance of the hut as
Hannah streaked past, closely followed by the rock band Incubus.
After a second she poked her head back around the door and on
seeing Jimmy gawping at the beautiful Cameron Diaz, came in with
her hands on her hip and said, “I
wouldn't, if I were you, Cam.” She left again to chase
Incubus. Life was good.
Jimmy was left looking sheepish.
Jess smothered a laugh and ran
outside to pick some bananas.
Jess gave up her banana search… it
looked suspiciously like Tyke had weed up all the trees, and she
had suddenly lost her appetite. Suddenly she heard a rustle in
the trees, and she jumped as Toby appeared from nowhere. “ARRGH!” Jess flew into a tree.
“Hi, Jess.” Toby left the trees, followed by Ian. They
had 'caught' several coconuts.
“You little… did you have to creep up on me?” Jess
exclaimed, holding onto a branch for dear life.
“Sorry, we were practising our hunting techniques,” Ian
explained, extending a hand to help her down.
“You're mad, you
are,” said Jess, thinking that Ian looked better in a Nazi
uniform than the coconut hunting kit.
“Well, someone has to start up the Jesshannahtropolis tribe.” Toby commented.
Suddenly a small man who looked very similar to
the architect that they had first met on the island approached
through the trees. “We've finished the construction of the beach-side bar, the
PlayStation room and the casino. If you need me, I'll be in the
lookout hut.” He merged back into the bush.
“He's scary!” said Toby, admiring his
coconuts[!].
“Hang on… who built those?” remarked Jess.
“Hannah can't gamble… unless… oh GOD!”
� Jess and Hannah 2002