“Is that it?” asked Toby, excitedly, pointing at an island they flew over.
“Yep,” said Jimmy, swooping down low.
“Looks great,” said Hannah. “Where exactly is this?”
“Barbados, apparently,” said Jimmy. “Hang on tight, here we go.” They suddenly dropped in altitude and lowered slowly onto the sand.
“So is this actually the island Barbados?” asked Jess as they all clambered out of the helicopter.
“Nearby, apparently,” said Jimmy.
“How big is it?” Jess peered around. Hannah pulled the island magazine from her back pocket and started reading it out loud.
“'This beautiful island is only two kilometres across and has beaches all around the shores. There is a small, sweet tropical rainforest, but the island is mainly flat, ideal for building large hotels. Lying next to Barbados, this island is the ideal place to rest and clam down.'” Hannah flicked to the front of the mag. “'The first thing to do with your island is name your currency.'…” She looked up at the four faces. “Well?”
“How about 'stranded'?” said Jess sarcastically, looking around doubtfully.
“Actually… that's quite good!” said Hannah. “I think we'll have that.”
“And each 'strand' is worth �100!” chipped in Toby.
“Cunning; I like it.” Hannah grinned.
“I'd better be getting back,” said Jimmy.
“Oh… do you have to?” asked Hannah. “Couldn't you stay a bit? Help us set up?”
“Well… I could…” said Jimmy. He remembered what had happened last time he had tagged along with Hannah.
“Please…?” she fluttered her eyelashes.
Jimmy melted. “OK.”
“Yey!” Hannah jumped up and down once and clapped her hands. “Right, let's build!”
“I can help you with that.” Suddenly Austin appeared with what looked like 100 workers behind him. “These guys will help you build whatever you want really quickly. Just remember to talk to the architect first!” Austin disappeared as randomly as he had arrived and a small man in dungarees wearing glasses walked forward.
“Well, what would you like?” There came a surge of ideas which the man wrote down quickly.
“Swimming pool – Olympic size with a tropical garden all around it!”
“Oval theatre!”
“Theme park!”
“Monorail system!”
“Big hotel!”
“With a waterfall in the middle!”
“Balconies looking out over the beach!”
“Ruff! Ruff!” Tyke chipped in.
“OK, all that and a large dog mansion included…” said the architect.
Everyone stared at Tyke.

25 minutes later there was a beautiful tropical beach hut with a huge swimming pool and palm trees a-plenty sitting on the island.
“Nice,” said Hannah approvingly.
“I like the palm trees,” said Jess.
Tyke also showed his appreciation for them by weeing up the nearest one.
“We'll be back tomorrow to build anything else you want, baby…” said Austin. “We have to get back to S.S.S.S HQ now to interrogate Bin Laden some more.”
“OK,” said Toby.
“See you,” said Hannah, wondering if there were any double bedrooms.
“Let's take the monorail back to the front entrance to the hotel!” said Jess, excitedly.
“So how are we going to get loads of people to come here to stay and go to that massive hotel, etc?” Toby asked as they caught the computer controlled monorail and drifted smoothly back to the grand entrance.
“I don't want many people to come,” moaned Jess. “Can't it just be us?”
“And famous people! Lots and lots of famous gu—people!” Hannah said.
Jimmy rammed her head against the monorail door beside him while Toby watched in curiosity. “Leave. Leave now whilst you've got the chance,” Jimmy advised, ramming Hannah's head against the door again.
“I don't think I can,” said Toby. “Tyke's fallen in love with one of the wild island dogs.” He pointed out the window and they saw Tyke chase a random dog into a bush.
Jess was sure she could hear the song 'Love Is In The Air' coming from somewhere, but she didn't know where… she saw two small yellow birds perched on a branch as they passed through the trees. They were preening each other. She looked over at Hannah and Jimmy. They were practically preening each other too. To avoid being violently sick, she picked up a magazine from the small rack at the side of the monorail car and started to read.

They arrived at the entrance and looked out into the sea.
“It's beautiful,” Hannah declared.
“I know! So orange!” Jess replied.
“Jimmy's hair isn't orange!” Hannah cried.
“Oh… should have guessed what you were talking about… I was actually admiring something more beautiful.”
Jimmy scowled and then realised that he was acting as childish as Hannah and stopped.
“Oh my God… there are servants!” Toby saw inside that people were busily sorting out things out behind the desk and polishing a statue. When the polisher moved away Toby couldn't believe his eyes. “Hey, look, guys! It's you two! In statue form!”
Jess and Hannah looked at the shiny silver statues of them.
“I don't think they've got my arm right…” thought Hannah out loud. Sure enough, the statue of Hannah hadn't even got a left arm.
“Don't worry – you're armless!” Jess collapsed into hysterics.
Hannah hit her.
The sun was beginning to sink below the sea.
“It's amazing… stunning,” Jimmy said, taking a side-step towards Hannah. This was his big chance. “Like a sun god travelling to his place of rest.” Jimmy was pleased with his romantic nonsense.
“Looks a bit like the sun's drowning,” Hannah mused.
Jimmy sighed. There was no point trying to be romantic with Hannah.
Tyke appeared from a nearby bush looking rather pleased with himself. Toby went pink as she considered that his dog got more romantic action than he did.
“I'd like a double room, please!” Hannah requested, walking up to the front desk with a grinning Jimmy behind her. Suddenly a coconut flew out of nowhere and hit her on the back of the neck. She was out cold before Jimmy could blink.
“Sorry, Jimmy, but someone has to control the dogs around here,” called Jess. Tyke was lying nearby, on his side, with his tongue laying out the corner of his mouth with the coconut next to him. “So similar!” mused Jess, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Jess?” Hannah called over to the other room next door to hers in the hotel.
“Yeah?”
“Are we going to gets lots of people here? Like actors and rock stars… and some comedians?”
“With any luck,” Jess said, rubbing her hands together. Hannah paced the floor, dreaming up celebrities to come visit her.
“Jess?”
“What?!” Jess was trying to sleep. She had been having a lovely dream about a certain edition of 'This Is Your Life' and she didn't want to be interrupted.
“I have an idea.”
“Oh… sweet Jesus.” Jess buried her head under the duvet and started singing the weasel song from 'Wind In The Willows' so that she wouldn't have to listen.
“Listen—“
“It's a secret of survival…”
“Jess, LISTEN! I think that—“
“Now you see us… now you don't…”
“Jess! LISTEN!”
“La-la-la…”
“LISTEN! FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, LISTEN!” screamed Ian from next door, banging on the wall.
This shut Jess up straight away.
“Right, well, I was thinking that we could open this island up for famous people only. And we can be really selective about who we allow in. If tomorrow, say, we built a very small airport and bit of entertainment, we can hire loads of workers and be ready to welcome the famous people… comedians included! You can make a website tomorrow and advertise to all the world, since you're such a brilliant web page creator!” Hannah clapped her hands together and hoped her shameless flattery had worked. There came another thump on the wall.
“SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA!”
“Sounds like a good idea,” repeated Jess.
“Fab,” concluded Hannah.

<< back to Book 2.2

� Jess and Hannah 2002