“Back off, you crappy canine!”
Jess exclaimed. “You bite that and you'll get sucked in -
lost forever.”
“Um...this is my friend, Jess.” Hannah introduced Jess
to the boy.
“Pleased to meet you,” the boy said, holding a hand
out.
Jess was about to shake it but the boy gave her a high-five. “Oh, really,” Jess muttered with distaste.
“I'm Toby,” the boy said.
“Toby...how sweet. Is that short for something? Tobias...?
Timothy?”
“Nah. Just Toby.”
“Oh.” Jess was not impressed.
“Erm...ok,” said Hannah, eager to avoid conflict.
“We'd better get to work.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Toby jumped to action as he realised that the queue in HMV for
his checkout had circled round on itself five times and was now
leading out of the door. “I'd better go now.”
“No, I mean, hang on...There's a bomb in Oxford.”
Hannah blurted whilst Jess became conscious that at the mention
of 'bomb', people around them were creating a large cautious
circle as if they were aliens. “So we've gotta save
Oxford!” Hannah bounced up and down with excitement.
“Right,” said Toby, “That makes sense.
Totally.” He sarcastically trailed off.
“Come on! We should go now!” Jess said grabbing Hannah
and not Toby and running off. The two girls heard the panting of
Toby's terrier following behind them...it could have been Toby,
thought Jess.
“Wait!” Toby called from behind his terrier (it hadn't
been him after all). “What was all that about a bomb? Is it
safe here in Oxford?”
“Why don't you stay here and see if you die, then
you'll know!” Jess shouted, turning Hannah around, as she
had stopped and turned to face Toby.
“Seriously, what's going on?” Toby asked.
“Look, we're from the fu...well...we're from 2002,”
said Hannah.
“What?” Toby exclaimed.
“I thought you said--”
“WATER-S*DDING-LOO, you hear me?” Jess shouted
nervously.
“Oh, ok, if you
don't want me then...”
“No, don't you think you'd better go back to your
till?” Jess interrupted.
They glanced back at HMV where people were running out of the
shop clutching CDs and the queue that had been leading out of the
door was now leading across the road and backing into the large
Virgin Megastores.
“See you then.” Toby mournfully turned around and
walked off.
“It's like you and Jimmy all over again!!” Hannah
exclaimed to Jess.
“At least Jimmy knew how to dress and act correctly in
company,” Jess said, nose in the air. “Honestly, what
is the world coming to?!”
“You're such a snob,” Hannah observed.
“Shut it, you. Now turn that bomb detector on and let's get
going.”
Hannah clicked the machine on and watched the light
flash. She waved it around randomly.
“It flashed then,” said Jess.
“When?” asked Hannah, moving it around again.
“Then.”
“Here?”
“NO!” Jess grabbed the machine and pointed it at HMV.
The light flashed quickly. Jess walked into the shop and pointed
the detector at the 'New Releases' rack. Nothing. At the DVD
chart. Nothing. The tills...yes! Jess ran towards the tills
followed by Hannah. Suddenly the machine gave out a long, loud
siren. Jess looked down. The detector was pointing directly at
Toby's till.
“Oh, hiya,”
Toby said coldly noticing the two girls approaching his till.
“Shut the place down,” Hannah ordered to Toby, “SHUT
IT NOW!”
Toby turned all the music off and started ushering people out of
the doors between shouts of 'YOU'RE INSANE' and 'MY BOSS IS GOING
TO KILL ME!'
“You know, with this machine we could save Oxford and
meet Ian Lavender!!” Jess said to Hannah whilst HMV was
evacuated.
“You have a one-track-mind!” Hannah called over from
the small Silverchair section in the 'Rock/Pop albums'.
Soon everyone had left the store and the last shopper legged it
out of the doors clutching three albums and five DVDs.
Toby slammed the doors shut and bolted them. “Why the hell did you make me do that?!” Toby went
hysterical. “I'm gonna get fired from the only job I can do!
I'm a failure!”
“Don't worry, little working class boy - Sainsbury's will
have you,” Jess said with false sympathy.
“There's a bomb,” Hannah declared.
“Y'what?” Toby exclaimed.
“In your till,” she continued. “I don't know how
it got there, I just know that it's there, ok?”
“Right...” Toby looked confused.
“Open it up.”
“The till?”
“Yes!” Jess was getting impatient.
“OPEN...IT...UP! Did they teach you conversational skills at
your 'school'?!”
“Jess, Jesus!” Hannah snapped, marching over to the
till.
Toby got a key from his pocket and flipped the lid of the
till. They all peered inside.
There was a tray of
money.
“Oh,” said Hannah, “Maybe we made a
mistake...” She looked at Jess for help as she always did at
times of trouble.
“No chance,” said Jess, switching the bomb detector on
and deafening all three of them with the continuous loud beep.
“We're definitely in the right place,” added Jess after
switching off and putting down the bomb detector on the cashier
desk. She put her hands in amongst the money and pulled out the
cash tray.
There, sitting infront of them was the bomb to blow up Oxford. It
had a timer which was counting down. It read - 00:01:22.
“Holy pretzels!!”
cried Hannah in disgust.
“Ok...so here's the situation,” Jess said, calmly.
“We now have one minute to diffuse this bomb.”
“How?” asked Hannah, frantically.
“I don't know.”
“I know,” said Hannah, suddenly getting an idea.
“We can equal out the explosive amounts in each tank to
straighten out the bomb by swapping the negative and positive
wires in the TNT plate of the bomb. Once we've switched them we
can cut the--”
“HANNAH! You can't keep recycling that same bloody
plan every time we're involved in some kind of disaster!”
“Sod it!” Hannah grabbed the bomb, now reading
00:00:13, and threw it towards a display rack of 'Natalie
Imbruglia' CDs. The bomb made a whining noise and then fell
silent. “All done.”
Toby was hiding
underneath the pay desk.
“Huh, men!” tutted Jess.
“Take that Natalie!”
“Hannah, she's dead.” Jess reminded her.
“Remember, Book 1.2 of The Book, page 1--”
“I know! I think I'd remember if I killed my arch
rival”
“You did.”
“I know.”
“Right,” concluded Jess.
“That'll teach her for messing with Daniel Johns.”
“Ok, you two clearly have issues, I'm just gonna replace the
CDs and open up...”
“Attempt to restore them and you die,” Hannah
said evilly to Toby.
“Right--” He backed away.
Suddenly the detector in Jess'
hand flashed again. “Bloody hell,” she jumped. “What's that?”
“It's still flashing!” exclaimed Hannah. “That
must mean there's another bomb!” The detector was only
flashing slowly. Hannah took it from Jess and pointed it towards
the door. It flashed faster.
“Oh, Christ, there could be hundreds of bombs, for all we
know!” Jess moaned.
“We have to hurry,” Hannah said, pointing the detector
gallantly. “Onwards - to Cornmarket!”
� Jess and Hannah 2002