Chapter Four! The black writing is Jess' and the white is Hannah's. Enjoy...

They were back in the sphere. Hannah scrambled for the door handle and rolled out onto the mauve carpet.
“Wha—“ Hannah felt dizzy and unable to finish a sentence. Ah, it was nice to be back to normal again.
“Hello, again, baby,” said Austin, standing in front of Hannah and Jess. “You spent a long time travelling through time – we thought it was time we brought you back to reality!” Jess looked at the mauve carpet and the pink walls.
Reality…yes…” she said sarcastically.
“It's getting late…you may go to your rooms now and you'll be briefed on your mission tomorrow.,#148; said the important looking man behind Austin.
“This way,” a woman in a pink and red checked gingham dress indicated to a door to their left.
The girls traipsed through.
They were led into a large circular room with three doors; one for Jess' bedroom, one for Hannah's and the other they walked through now to get into their living room.
Once the woman had left them, they stood dazed and shocked for a while before Hannah screamed, “Bagsy the right room!” And ran off. She ran straight out and screamed, “They've got 'American Woman' by The Guess Who!”


The next morning they ate breakfast in their circular lounge and walked off to meet Austin as was planned at 10:10am. They met him in the 'Totally Way Out Meeting Room' which was red and green.
He looked as eccentric as usual, wearing a red velvet suit with a lacy white cravat and lacy sleeves. “Ok, babies,” Austin said, looking excited. “We're on a mission to save Oxford.”
“Bit late for that,” observed Jess.
“But that's exactly it, baby!” Austin exclaimed. “With our time machine we can go back and prevent it happening. The evil mastermind who destroyed Oxford will only truly be stopped if he never existed. We want to try and scrub him out before he became evil.”
“So who is this person?” asked Jess.
“It's—“
“Is it Dr Evil?” asked Hannah.
“No, it's—“
“Fat B*st*rd?” Jess inquired.
“No, um, it's—“
“Mini-me?”
“Bin Laden!”
Hannah gasped, “Evil son of a b*tch!”
“Precisely baby!” Austin said. “Now, you two are the best agents we've got…(actually, the only ones)…anyway, you've got to go back in time and get him!”
“Yeah baby! Yeah!” Jess exclaimed.
Hannah looked at her in shock.
“Sorry…it's catching.”


Five minutes later they had both been briefed on all that they were to do and bring back.
“There's something not quite right,” commented Austin when they were both ready to go. “Can't you both change into something a little more…60's?!”
Hannah and Jess looked at each other, then Hannah said, “Just no catsuits, ok?”


Hannah came out of the changing room to a round of applause.
The entire company of the 'Secret Shagging Spy Service' had come out to watch the two spies off, but first they had been ordered to find something sixty'ish to put on, out of the changing room selection…apparently it was tradition.
Hannah came out with purple flares, a psychedelic purple tight halter-neck top and a cornflower blue bandana, with lilac makeup. Underneath the flares were her trusty nike trainers of course…what else?!

Jess was wearing a pair of velvet black flares and a v-necked pink top.
“You two look groovy, baby, yeah!” Austin exclaimed.
“Right, where are we going?” asked Jess impatiently.
“You're going back to just before Oxford was destroyed. You have to catch Bin Laden's agents before they can plant the bombs.”
“Right.” Hannah leapt into the sphere. “Let's roll.”
“You always say that, and it usually ends with us in trouble,” Jess observed.
“Chill out, dude! Peace!” Hannah exclaimed, holding two fingers up to Jess, sadly the wrong way around.
“Don't forget the remote baby, yeah!”
I'LL take that!” Jess snatched the remote from Hannah's clutches. “No more wacky adventures with Hannah, oh no thank you! We're here to do a job…hear that Hannah? J…O…B!”
Hannah looked back blankly.
“Give you the control and we'll end up in Daniel John's bl**dy bedroom…” Jess walked into the sphere which Hannah had just walked out of and slammed the door.
“Err…Jess! Wait for me!” Hannah whined, knocking on the door. “Don't embarrass me like this!” She glanced cautiously at the S.S.S.S. company workers staring at her.
Jess swung the door open, hitting Hannah in the face, yanked her inside and slammed the door shut.



“Hey, look!” said Jess, opening the sphere door. Hannah looked out.
“HMV! It's still here!” Hannah ran out in the road.
“Oxford hasn't been blown up yet!” Jess exclaimed. “We have to find the bomb or whatever.”
“Oh, yeah, and how are we going to do that? You got a bomb detector in those flares?”
Jess pulled a bomb detector from her pocket. “Austin gave it to me before we left.” Jess flicked a switch and a light on the object flashed. “The faster the flash, the closer the bomb, he said.” Jess recalled.
“I despair. I really do,” said Hannah.
“Are we in Saturday morning then?” Jess asked. She heard no reply but the beeps of her bomb detector getting quieter. “Hannah?!” Jess shouted back for her but there was only silence.
Jess stomped back to where she had time-portalled to, to find Hannah standing talking to a lad in an HMV costume and Hannah appeared to be very much interested and hanging off every word he said. The lad, who was wearing the compulsory purple shirt, had a small terrier dog sitting beside him attached to a lead.
Jess approached and the terrier launched into action, diving at her over-sized flares. Unfortunately there was more material than leg and the dog flew past her leg and landed in a puddle. Severely ruffled, the terrier launched a second attack, straight at Jess' a*se.

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� Jess and Hannah 2002

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