The first thing that Hannah was aware of was the small metal ball which was the remote. It looked like a digital clock and shone a red number back at her. Hannah rubbed her eyes and looked at the number again – '1900'.
“Bl**dy hell!” coughed Jess, “They could have made it a better landing!”
Hannah pulled a small dog from underneath her arse; it yelped and ran off.
Jess looked up, “Where are we?”
“Erm…it's dark,” Hannah started. She sniffed. “And smelly,” she added. She put her hand down to the floor. “And wet.” Somewhere above them a rat squeaked.
“And I conclude that we're in a sewer,” Jess said, getting up quickly to avoid being soaked in sewage.
“Right, well, I reckon job one would be to get out of here.”
“Yes, Hannah, well done,” said Jess, sarcastically.
Hannah looked up to where a tiny chink of light was shining into the sewer from the ceiling. She felt along the wall and found a metal ladder imbedded in the wall. “I bet that's a manhole up there.”
“Well done Einstein,” started Jess, “I suggest we get out of here because I don't feel like spending the rest of my time in a place like this.”
They both climbed the cold, hard metal ladder which was attached to the wall and Hannah pushed the covering of the manhole across letting sunlight stream in.
As Jess pushed the lid back over they stood up and looked around. “Are we in a black and white film?” Jess looked around at the deserted street.
“Everything practically is black and white,” commented Hannah peering at the cobbled street.
“I think we're in the Victorian times…” said Jess.
“We are.” Hannah showed Jess the year number on the remote.
“Look out below!” a voice shouted from above.
Jess and Hannah looked up to see a woman emptying her chamber pot down towards them.
“ARRG!” Jess dived into the road to avoid the falling urine, but managed to land in a steaming pile of horse poo instead. Hannah calmly sidestepped the obstacle as it splattered onto the ground.
Jess pulled herself from the manure and scowled at Hannah.
“Now, now,” Hannah said, sarcastically, “at least you'll blend in with the locals now.”

“So,” said Jess, perching on a milestone. “What now?”
“You smell awful,” commented Hannah.
“Thanks,” Jess growled.
“Not turning out to be a good day for you, is it?!” Hannah giggled. “I don't think I like the Victorian age…” she commented.
“Shall we go?” Jess hopefully asked Hannah who was still clutching the bright remote.
“As soon as I realise how to work it out.” She lifted up a little panel to reveal a set of buttons with numbers on it and one with an 'Enter' sign on it. “Do you reckon it's possible to go back to the dinosaur age?”
“What's that button?” Jess looked at a button which had a minus and a plus sign on it.
“Let's try it.” Hannah pressed three nines, two sevens and two threes followed by a minus sign.

Jess felt something tickling her nose. She opened her eyes to see it was a long fern. She was sitting in a patch of greenery. “Hannah?” There was a long sigh from up above her. Jess looked up to see Hannah sitting astride a large tree branch. “Ooh…painful.”
Hannah removed herself from the branch with as much dignity as she could muster and dropped to the ground next to Jess.
“Where d'think we are?”
Hannah held up the handset.
“When's -9997733 ?”
“I'm guessing it's 9 million, 9 hundred and ninety seven, seven hundred and thirty three years BC.”
“Wow.” Jess was about to ask whether hot-dogs had been invented in 9,997,733 BC when she was interrupted by a faint rumbling sound. “What's that?”
Hannah paused and raised a finger to her lips.
Jess fell silent.
The ground shook gently as the rumble got ever so slightly louder.
“Oh, good God,” said Hannah.
Through the ferns, they saw a dinosaur rumbling towards them.
“Oh God! I don't want to die!!” Jess screamed.
“Hang on…this is incorrect…apparently dinosaurs were meant to roam the earth in…”
“Oh shut up!” screamed Jess, grabbing Hannah's arm and running under a bush.
”Oh good idea Jess, like hiding under a tree is going to save us from a big dinosaur!” Hannah said sarcastically.
“Shut up and pretend you're a bush!”
The dinosaur ambled over to where Jess and Hannah had been standing and sniffed a bit. Thoroughly confused and convinced that he was going insane and hearing voices in his head, he turned to walk off and fell over a log.
Hannah's laughter sounded out from behind the bush before Jess could put her hand over her mouth.
“You've done it now!” Jess cried as the large dinosaur walked towards the bush and started to eat it, chewing bits of Jess' hair as he devoured the leaves.
“Where shall we go?!” exclaimed Hannah panicking.
“ANYWHERE!” screamed Jess as the dinosaur ate her hairband.
Hannah punched random numbers and the pair disappeared.

There was a wailing sound coming from somewhere that seemed to completely fill the air.
“Are you two mad?” a voice said.
Hannah blinked into conciousness and looked around. It was dark and the street she and Jess were standing in was deserted, albeit for a man in a white helmet with 'ARP' written on it in black, who was shouting at them.
“Can't you hear me?” he repeated. “Get to the shelter! Quickly!” He ushered them towards some steps, leading down into what looked like a subway.
Hannah looked down at the remote in her hand. 1941. ”It's 1941!” she exclaimed to Jess.
“What?” she gasped. “My dad hasn't even been born yet and he's ancient!”
The steps widened out into a long, dark subway lit only by candles. People sat on low benches which lined the walls and children played around sandbags protecting either end of the subway.
”Jesus, it's the war!” Hannah cried.
The man with the helmet on looked back at them, and on hearing Hannah, shouted to another man in the far end of the shelter, “Shell-shock victims!”
Jess and Hannah got ushered over to a corner whilst everyone watched them in pity. Their clothes stood out bright amongst the darkness that surrounded them.
”Blanket love?” a man asked Hannah offering a small white sheet.
“Thanks.” Hannah took one and covered up her clothes which were causing a lot of attention. Jess followed suit and they both sat there inconspicuously.
Suddenly, they felt like they were being pulled through the wall.

<< back to Book 2.1

� Jess and Hannah 2002