In the back of the limo Jimmy and Patrick had found copies of the script for the film and were reading them in awe.
Jess was sitting in the corner, muttering: "Hugh Grant!" over and over in disgust.
"Have you seen page seventy-one?" asked Jimmy, eyes wide.
Everyone turned around, including Hannah, consequently almost running into a tree. She was slowly getting the hang of driving but the clutch was still proving to be a problem. The deserted, straight roads through the bush were an excellent training ground.
"What?" asked Jess, flicking through the TV channels with the remote control.
"Uh… it says here that… well… uh…"
"Spit it out, mate," Bruce said.
"Well, it kinda predicts the future," said Jimmy, slowly.
"Woah, cool!" Cartman said.
"Well, actually… it says that Mik and Bruce are going to die."
Everyone fell silent except for Mik and Bruce, who started crying.
Hannah was concentrating on driving, and couldn't be bothered to listen to them cry. She flicked a switch and blacked glass blocked her from the noise in the back.

It was getting dark and consequently late. Jess was half asleep and kept having to wake herself up when her head was centimetres from Patrick's shoulder. Hannah was practically asleep too, which was unfortunate, as she was driving.
"I can take over, if you want," offered Josh, who had been silent since they had kidnapped him.
"I'd rather we just stopped somewhere, actually," Hannah said with a yawn. "You may have some sort of homing instinct on Spielberg."
Josh frowned and sat back in his seat.
"Is there a town near here, then?" asked Mik, still worried about dying.
"Nine miles to Brisbane," Hannah said as they past a road sign. "We'll try that."
"Is… is it safe in Brisbane, mate?" asked a scared Bruce.
"Should be," said Hannah, grinning, "just watch out for wombats."

Jess began to wake up as they entered the outskirts of Brisbane. Slowly it got brighter and brighter as the few isolated houses turned into streets of housing which turned into shops and businesses. Jess looked out the right hand side of the car as they stopped at traffic lights. She could see the centre of Brisbane – full of about a dozen skyscrapers and tall buildings over the river. It was beautiful. Jess tapped on the darkened window separating the driving area from the back of the limousine. The glass retracted and Jess looked at the back of Hannah's head.
"It's really nice here."
"I know; I lived here for a year when I was young," Hannah said quietly.
"Where are we staying?" Jess enquired.
"Well, I could take you to my Nana and Grandad's house which is pretty big, but they'd probably have a heart attack… so I figured we'd try 'The Novotel' – a hotel near the centre of Brisbane."
"Expensive?"
"Yeah, but not so much if we share rooms between two…" Hannah looked up in the wing mirror where she had adjusted it so that she had a perfect view of Josh.
"Oh, no," Jess said, frowning. "It's you and me in a room or no rooms at all." She shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "You dirty girl."
There was a silence.
Hannah was amused. "Everyone asleep back there?" she asked.
Jess glanced around at the sleeping Cartman, Patrick, Jimmy, Josh, Mik and Bruce. "Uh-huh," she said, yawning. "I've just realised I'm stuck in a foreign country with a load of random men," Jess looked around again, anxiously. "Makes me feel rather vulnerable."
Hannah laughed. "Never mind; I'll look after you." She looked up as they passed a large road sign saying: 'The Novotel'. "Here we are!"

The glass doors opened with a 'whoosh' for the ninth time as Mik and Bruce walked in. Everyone stared around at the modern reception hall.
"This place is nice," said Patrick, looking at the mini waterfall in the middle of the hotel.
Hannah walked up to the front desk and said, "Can we have four rooms, please?"
"FOUR?!" said Jess.
"Yes," Hannah said, trying to keep a straight face.
"No way, we talked about this in the car, Hannah!"
"It's OK," said Josh, walking up to the desk. "I can pay for the four rooms." He smiled at Hannah.
"No thank you, Josh." Jess sounded like a teacher talking to a pupil. "That won't be necessary."
"Oh," said Josh.
"We only need you to pay for three."
"Oh, Jeeeess…!" Hannah started, tugging at her sleeve.
"No, Hannah – you and I can have one room and the boys can divide themselves up between the others." Hannah frowned.
"Suit yourself," she muttered, kicking at a priceless marble pillar.
"So, three rooms?" the lady at the desk asked, smiling.
"Yes," said Hannah, through her teeth.
"OK. Joel will take your bags upstairs." A bell boy with a silly hat on appeared from nowhere.
"Erm… that won't be necessary," Hannah said. "We don't have any luggage." Jess suddenly looked around at everyone.
"Oh my God! We look like we've been in some sort of plane crash, or been at sea for a week, or been hiking through the bush forever!" she exclaimed.
Hannah resisted the urge to thump her.
"We all look really messy." Jess concluded.
"No joke, mate," said Mik. "I've been wearing the same underwear for a week now."
Hannah kicked the marble pillar once more to stop herself throttling Mik.
"No luggage," Jess concluded to the receptionist, blushing.
They all trailed over to the lifts and pressed the up button. They had got consecutive rooms on the twelfth floor. After three minutes the lift suddenly pinged and the doors opened.
Hannah walked in first and saw herself reflected in the mirrors on the sides of the lift. She had blood splattered on her Silverchair t-shirt… it was probably Natalie's. She chuckled evilly with the memory. Josh gave her a bemused stare and she shut up. Then she suddenly remembered: "Oh my God! Superturtle!"
Jess put her hands to her mouth. "Oh no!" she squealed, before going weepy.
Patrick considered comforting her, but decided against it.
"Don't worry," said Cartman, bravely. "Superturtle is brave and courageous – we'll find him… or he'll find us."
There was a silence. No one was used to Cartman talking sense.
"I want a shower and a shave," said Jimmy, breaking the silence.
"Me too," Jess said, "well… not the shave; obviously."
"Let's go," said Hannah, shaking her head and grinning. They departed into the three rooms – Jess and Hannah into the first, Jimmy, Josh and Patrick into the second and Cartman, Mik and Bruce into the last.
Hannah was amazed with the quality of their room. Her and Jess stood in the doorway and gaped at it for a minute before daring to enter. Jess felt they were so dirty they didn't deserve this. Hannah was enjoying every moment. She ran in and jumped onto the large three-seater sofa. "Weeee!"
"Careful, Hans!" Jess said, concerned. "We weren't sent here to trash the place!" Hannah was about to retort with something along the lines of 'Don't be such a boring old fart' but she was cut short by a quick knock on the door. Jess and Hannah looked at each other with eyebrows raised. "I wonder who that could be," Jess said, frowning. "We've only just got here."
"Shall I get it?" asked Hannah.
"OK, but not until I'm safely in the bathroom. I don't want anyone to see me looking like this." Jess scurried towards the door. "Bloody hell!" she screeched from inside. "It's bigger than the actual room!"
Hannah rolled her eyes. "Gutter child."
"Oi, I went to a public school, y'know."
"As I said, 'Gutter Child'." Jess stuck her tongue out and disappeared into the bathroom.
Hannah opened the door.
Jess stood in the bathroom with her ear up against the door but she couldn't hear a thing – the door was too thick. She looked in the mirror and flattened her hair. She washed her face and hands, then dried them on a large, fluffy white towel. She looked at the large jacuzzi and thought it was probably just as well that she hadn't let Hannah and Josh have a room. She walked back over to the door and slowly twisted the silver door knob. She pulled open the door to stick her head through. Her jaw dropped open when she saw who was at the door.
"Oi, lads, what are you doing here?" Hannah was asking. Josh, Jimmy, Patrick, Mik, Bruce and Cartman were all standing outside the door, sheepishly.
"We're bored," said Jimmy.
"Already?" asked Hannah, surprised.
The boys all nodded.
"Christ."
Jess reappeared from the bathroom. She had broken the world shower record and was now clean. "Ooh, hello," she said, drying her hair with a towel.
"Alright," said Hannah, taking control. "I am going shopping, and you," -she grabbed Josh- "Are coming with me."
"Guys, let's go check out the restaurant, seriously!" Cartman said to Mik and Bruce.
"And the bar!" Bruce exclaimed, flying down the corridor and taking Mik and Cartman with him.
"There's a library downstairs," Patrick announced. "They have Pinter."
"Ooh! Let's go!" said Jess, following him down the corridor.
"Jimmy?" Hannah said. "What are you going to do?"
"Some spying…" he muttered, looking at Josh suspiciously.
"Sorry?" asked Hannah, putting a hand to her ear.
"Some… some buying! I'm going shopping too… but not with you two," he lied.
"O-K." said Hannah slowly. She grabbed Josh's hand and ran down the corridor.

<< back to Book 1.2

� Jess and Hannah 2001