Patrick poured tea into the three china tea cups and picked up the cover off the sofa. "Here you go," he said, wrapping it around a shivering Hannah. Hysterics had worn off and she was now exhausted, "you look tired," Patrick said, "you can borrow my bed for a nap if you want?"
Jimmy looked like thunder.
"Are you OK?" Patrick said, turning to Jess.
"Yes thank you," she said politely, "so sorry about Hannah - all the panic must have got to her."
"Oh, that's fine. I just hope she recovers."
Jimmy turned green. "You're talking about her like she isn't even here," he snapped. Jess and Patrick looked at Jimmy who slowly got up and pulled Hannah up, "come on Hannah, let's get you some fresh air." Hannah moaned as Jimmy pulled her to her feet and guided her out of the Post Office front door.
"What's wrong with Jimmy?" enquired Patrick, looking around at Jess.
"I'm guessing jealousy."
"What?"
"I know; crazy. 'Coz you're not interested in Hannah..." Jess paused and looked sideways at Patrick, "are you?"
"What? No!" he laughed, "I only met her half an hour ago."
"Oh, good." Jess was visibly relieved.
"Eh?"
"Oh, nothing."
"So, are those two...?"
"Oh, yes, I think so. It's a bit vague."
Patrick nodded.
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"More tea?"
"Yes please."

"What's wrong?" Hannah asked, as Jimmy dragged her out the door, still clutching her blanket.
"Nothing." Jimmy growled, reaching up to his head and giving one of his hair spikes a savage twist.
"Well, there must be. You've been acting all grumpy ever since we got here."
"Haven't."
Hannah sighed. "Come on, you big baby, let's go back inside."
"So I can watch you mooning all over that Marber bloke? No thanks."
"Jimmy, 'mooning' means something somewhat different in Britain."
"You still know what I mean."
"Well, as it happens, I don't like him. Or, at least, not in that way. And also, why should it matter? It's not like we're... going out, or anything..."
Jimmy felt silent.
Hannah frowned. "Are we?" she almost stated.
"Well, no, not really."
"Not the answer I wanted, punk," Hannah said, frowning in annoyance.
"Well, we're not, but... I guess if you want... um..." Jimmy went pink, then slightly blue, then red.

Back inside the Post Office, Jess and Patrick were discussing the life of Steve Coogan. The conversation slowly came to a close.
"So, who are 'Purplesofa'?" Patrick said.
Jess looked up confused and then laughed. "You mean 'Silverchair'?"
"Yes, whoever it was that Hannah was talking about."
"They're a music band from Australia."
"Yes..." he paused thoughtfully, "...I think I've heard of them before, actually..."

Outside, Hannah suddenly sat up straight.
"What is it?" said Jimmy, "did I say something wrong?" he asked nervously.
"No..." Hannah said, "somebody is talking about Silverchair." She got up and ran into the Post Office.
"Jesus, do you have a Silverchair radar?" Jimmy shouted after her.
Hannah continued running and gave no reply.
"Or do you just want to get away from me?!" he yelled, stomping off towards the water, kicking Cartman, who had been dozing in the dingy, exhausted.
"Ow! Watch it, a**-licker!" he yelled, rolling to his feet and frowning after Jimmy. Then he turned and headed towards the Post Office.

Jess was very pleased with herself. She was getting on extremely well with Patrick and had so far managed a good balance of showing her knowledge in his work (without sounding too obsessed) and asking him questions about himself. She had also been impeccably polite. Oh, yes, Jess was pleased, alright.
"Hello?" Hannah entered the room.
"Oh, hello," Patrick said, rising to greet her. "Everything alright?"
"Yes, thanks," Hannah said, smiling, "Jimmy's gone for a walk, I think."
"Right, do you want some more tea?"
"Yes, please,"
Jess smiled. What an excellent impression they were making...
"Ay, what the hell's going on in here, hippies?" Cartman asked, stomping into the room. "And who's this a**hole?" he asked, pointing at Patrick.
Jess put her head in her hands.
"Sorry to interrupt," Hannah glanced at Jess cringing in the corner, "but you were just talking about Silverchair, weren't you?"
Patrick looked surprised. "Yes, we were."
"Great," Hannah said, "just one more question," she added, "you don't happen to have any Silverchair merchandise in here, do you?" Hannah glanced over the shelves of magazines and CDs.
"Hmm." Patrick sat and thought for a while, whilst Hannah got excited. She could hardly contain herself from jumping up and down. "I have heard of them before... yes! Last week, in fact! A couple of singles washed up on the shore. They're over in that cupboard." Hannah followed Patrick's finger to the glass cupboard and stared inside at the Silverchair memorabilia. "The other stuff in there is by a group called 'chair' - I don't know who they are," Patrick explained.
Hannah was practically drooling outside the outside the cabinet. "No that's Silverchair stuff too...It's just a bit dirty."
"Well, looks like everything's turned out for the best then! Happy ending and all that!" Jimmy erupted, storming into the Post Office.
"What?" asked Hannah, having to physically pull her eyes away from the Silverchair gear.
"You live here with your new fancy man and listen to my cousin and his mates singing, Jess can go off to the other end of this stupid island with her fat little boyfriend, and I'll go drown myself!"
"He's NOT my boyfriend!" Jess exclaimed looking aghast at Jimmy, then Cartman.
"And I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" screamed Cartman.
"He ain't no fancy man!" screamed Hannah, "no offence or anything, mate," she added, smiling at Patrick.
"Oh, none taken," he said, smiling back.
"AND YOU!" She pointed straight at Jimmy, screaming, "YOU'RE TEN TIMES BETTER THAN ANY MAN IN THIS ROOM BECAUSE: 1) YOU'RE AN AUSTRALIAN AND 2) YOU'RE RELATED TO SILVERCHAIR SO BE SATISFIED!!"
The silence which followed was silent to say the least. Jimmy looked embarrassed but pleased, Cartman was quietly amused, Patrick was shocked and Jess was more embarrassed than she ever had been.
"I'm sorry," said Hannah quietly, "but it had to be said." After explaining herself, she turned back to the Silverchair cabinet.

<< back to Book 1.1

� Jess and Hannah 2001