Break the law of Dude, and Dude will punish you.
1. Don't diss Dude.
2. Do not insult, attack, kill, or threaten to insult, attack, or kill any of Dude's main people. Do not even attempt to. Because, hey, we're Dude's buddies. Harrass us in any way, and Dude will punish you.
3. If you are a follower of Dude, then any stupid, evil, inhumane, or unlawful acts you happen to commit, can be committed in the name of Dude. Dude will take the blame of the so-called wrongful acts of his faithful followers. In fact, Dude promotes these acts, especially when they include showing off that you're Dudeist. Just don't kill anyone. You can leave that to the Other-Siders.
4. You must sacrifice to Dude on a regular basis. Once every week should do it.
5. Do not attempt to sacrifice a member of the high office to Dude.
6. Never, ever, under ANY circumstances, sacrifice a high protein, high fibre, and low fat strawberry snack bar to Dude. You WILL regret it.
1. If you're lucky, you'll just recieve an official little warning from Dude's Warnmeister. This is if you do something little, such as forget to sacrifice to Dude, or threaten one of his main people, or just diss him in a not-so-big-of-a-deal sorta way (ie. "Dude is a poo-poo head"). However, if you continue to commit these acts, you will be punished.
2. You might be handed over to the Other-Siders. And you know what happens when the Other-Siders get hold of you. They'll eat you alive. They'll DEVOUR you. And you'd hafta be really lucky to escape them.
3. You could be banished to the Overside. Thats that deserted place far above the underside, secluded from the rest of Society. Not a good place to live either. You don't know whats out there... and if you happen to like the Overside, for some strange, sickening reason, we'll have to sentence you to one of the following 2 punishments instead.
4. We might hafta sacrifice you to Dude. Thats right, we'll hunt you down and ambush you, then bring you to the freezing craphole, and drop you in.
5. Dude will make you a wanderer. Thats where he takes your soul and puts it in his display case (for his collection of souls of people who failed to obey the Law of Dude), and then you're doomed to wander the Otherside or the Overside (sometimes you get a choice, y'know) forever. Soulessly, of course. But, if we happened to be wrong in accusing you, and you are proved innocent (yeah right, Dude is never wrong, he sees all... and you're less likely to be proved innocent), or if we decide that you didn't really deserve this punishment after all, Dude may return your soul in exchange for a small fee. Of course, you can select this option right before Dude takes your soul.
Dude is the guy in the sky... you're supposed to worship him. If you diss him, well... lets not go there.
If you break the law of Dude...
Yeah, so thats pretty much it for Dudeism. Have a nice day!