The Story of Heather

I've never had much of a love life. Didn't have my first girlfriend until my freshman year of college, unless you want to count a little elementary school thing. That's how pathetic I am. But at the same time I don't mind that I didn't have a girlfriend in high school. I had no worries. I was free to do as I pleased. I did ask one girl out in junior year. That was a fiasco. What's that? You say you'd like to hear about it? Well, okay. I suppose I can tell you.

Her name was Heather. I worked with her at the grocery store I worked at then. Well, we became pretty good friends and always had a good time at work. She had a boyfriend and everything was cool. I liked her, but I didn't care. She started working there in the summer I think. I know it was September at the latest. Anyway, over Christmas break I was sacking groceries in her lane (she was a cashier, duh. :-p) and I overheard her talking to her friend and she said that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Now I don't know why, but something in me sparked and I decided I had to take my chances and ask her out.

So about a week later (it took a while to work up the nerve) I told her I wanted to talk to her before she got off work. She got off at 9 and I was there until 10. Anyway, I ended up having to stock the pop aisle around 9. I glanced up at the clock in the deli and saw it go from 9 to 9:15 without her showing up. I figured by that time she had left and forgot to come talk to me, so my chance was gone. About that time she walked around he corner and my heart basically froze. I had to ask her and I had totally lost the courage. She asked what I wanted to talk to her about. Now about this time some sadist turned the heat in the store up to about 539 degrees, which in turn melted the bones in my legs as I about passed out. Somehow I managed to actually say something stupid like "I was wondering if you would be interested in going out sometime with me." By now I was totally drenched with sweat, my voice sounded more like Shirley Temple than it did me, and if I hadn't had the cart the pop cartons were laying in there to prop me up, I probably would have just fallen over dead on the floor. To my surprise she said she'd think about it. I think she even smiled, although that might just have been my brain trying to make me feel better about myself. Well, she had to go then, and the rest of that night is really fuzzy. I think I went to the bathroom to throw up for an hour. I don't remember.

Anyway, the next time I talked to her I asked her if she had an answer for me. She said yes and I said, okay, what is it? She said she was already kinda seeing this guy. Well, my first thought was, why the hell did you have to think about it if you're already seeing someone? That made me mad. My second thought was maybe she was debating whether I was better than him. That made me feel better. My third thought was she turned me down meaning he's better than me. That made me mad again. My fourth thought was she was considering whether I was better, meaning he must be pretty pathetic too. That made me feel better again.

Moving on, another guy I worked with somehow caught wind that I had asked Heather out and for some reason he tried to comfort me. Now this was extremely strange because he was the kind of guy you would picture going out and mauling a few cattle for kicks more than you would getting all emotion and bonding with you.

Sometime around the end of January-beginning of February I went to work and he was there and told me that Heather had stopped seeing that other guy. Eventually he talked me into asking her out again. Well, I went through the night pretending like I didn't know anything about it. However, when I got off work, I made sure to go past Heather on my way out and brag because I was getting off before her. No, really, I actually went up to her, waited for her to finish with her customer and said something dumb like "I heard you aren't seeing that guy anymore." She said that was true and I asked if she would "reconsider my offer." I felt like the Godfather now. "I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse," I said. "Cause if you do, you'll wake up with a horse head next to you." Anyway, she said she was already reconsidering. I was extremely happy because in my naive little mind I figured that meant she must have thought I was actually worth it! Boy, was I a fool!

About a week went by before I saw her again, but I asked if she had an answer and she actually said yes she would go out with me!! You have no idea how happy I was at that moment!! "Oh boy!!" I said, as I skipped across the parking lot. "Get the hell out of my way!" said the guy driving the Cadillac that almost hit me. So I skipped all the way home with a warm glow all over me. I was so happy. I got her phone number and called her a couple times. I thought it kinda strange that she never seemed overly excited to talk to me, but I thought it was probably just my imagination. I often tried to get my break the same time she had hers. Eventually almost everyone knew that something was going on between us. We made our date and we both asked for it off work. We both got it off work and everything was going great! It was all planned. I was so excited! I couldn't wait! Then strange things started to happen.

One day we were working together and she said her parents wanted to meet me before we went out and I thought, okay, no big deal and I told her my parents really wanted to meet her too. I swear to God she turned so white you would lose her in a snowstorm. She became absolutely terrified!! She practically begged me not to have to meet my parents, as if they carried some plague or something that would cause her and anyone that so much as said hi to her to die. So I told her she didn't have to.

So the eve of the date finally came. I was so excited! We both had to work. But the moment I got there, the first thing she said to me was "I need to talk to you." There are no other six words in the English language that scare a guy more. I said Okay, what? And she said "I can't go out tomorrow night" I will tell you right now that my heart was crushed by that one swift blow. My world, my trust, my feelings, everything was shattered. She explained that they asked her to work the next night, the night of our date, and she said she would. That hurt even more. She chose to work rather than go out with me. I have never felt more empty than I did that night. And you know the worst thing? I didn't do anything about it. I said okay, and I went on about my business as if nothing had happened. Granted I didn't talk to her for the rest of the weekend.

I came in the next night, the night that was supposed to be our date, to get my paycheck and check the new schedules, but I ignored her. On my way out, I made sure to go out through the empty checkout lane furthest from hers. I heard her say, Hi Brandon, but I just kept going. I didn't even look. I now wish I would have at least looked at her when she said that, or better yet, stopped and looked at her, and then kept on going. At least then she would have known that I heard her and was ignoring her.

I told you we were pretty good friends before all that. Well, that all changed. We'd say hi and that's about all. A couple months later I quit there. When she found out she stopped me in one of the aisles and asked if it was true and I said yes. She told me she was going to miss me. I actually think she may have been sincere about it. I've seen her a couple times since. That summer I saw her at the fair with her mom, she stopped and talked to me for a little bit, but not much. I swear I saw her a few times at the theatre I worked out for 6 years after the grocery store, but she never said anything to me. She'd look as if she recognized me, maybe from a past life but she couldn't quite remember who I was. Once she might have even smiled at me. I still find myself asking what could have been. I don't think we would have worked out. But I don't regret doing it in the least. I got my heart broken, but for those few wonderful days before what would have been our date, I got to experience heaven.