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A
God-meant fusion
He is a political late bloomer but he knows the essentials of
public service, and so this governor centers all his efforts
on one thing.. |
THIS COUPLE HAS
ABOUT 50 KIDS. Two from a previous marriage by Edwin, and
three of their own. The rest are all children of the heart.
Most of the adopted ones have been in their lives for years
and years, frequently crowding their home and raiding their
pantry and filling their soul with life-giving relationships.
Like any other
man, Edwin Siva first got attracted to Blessy because she had
a good figure and wore clothes well. “Pare, sexy sya,”
he commented of the Philippine National Bank teller assigned
in a branch in Cotabato City where he was sent to do some
auditing. By then, he had been a widow for 5 years and was
quite frankly in search of a life partner.
For Blessy, her
first thought was “maliit sya,” she retells with
laughter, but she was impressed with him just the same. They
soon started going out, and maintained a long distance
relationship (she was in Cotabato, he was in Cebu) for years.
It was a trying time for them, especially for Edwin, who
“strayed” once or twice. “I believe this marriage was
meant to be, because I usually do not tolerate things like
that,” says Blessy.
She reveals that
even during the courtship stage, she was already certain that
Edwin was the one. “Everything just led to him.” But
even then, she begged God, “Lord, pwede hindi na lang siya?”
The prayer emanated from a fear of relationships, and
particularly of Edwin’s status.
Blessy’s mother
discouraged her. “His children will not like you,” she
warned.
There was also
an offer for Blessy to work in the US, where her mother was
based. “Can you wait?” she asked her fiancé. Edwin’s
reply was short. “What do you think?” And that was
that.
They finally got
married on December 9, 1989. And then it was time to meet the
children. Edwin’s daughter was cared for by his in-laws and
with whom she lives with to this day. The son, Jun-Jun, was
then 7 years old and came to live with his father and new
mother. That was, again, another struggle for the new couple,
made more difficult by Edwin’s prolonged absence in their
first 7 years of marriage as he worked as a bank manager first
in Tawi-Tawi, then in Ipil. The job of caring for Jun-Jun
fell on Blessy’s lap. “Blessy is the disciplinarian,”
says Edwin. It might have been a painful stage for “madrasta”
and son, but today, Jun-Jun calls Blessy “Nanay” because that
is what she is to him in every sense of the word.
As Edwin and
Blessy celebrate 16 years of togetherness that gave them kids
of their own (Izza, 14; Inelle, 11; and Jabez, 3), Blessy
muses, “I could honestly say that marriage has given me a
sense of belongingness. I was surrounded by people who loved
me. It was Ed’s love that brought healing to me. Binuo ako
ulit ng pagmamahal ni Ed. I had extra baggages from the past
– unhappy ako noon. When I got married, he took me as I was,
accepted me, loved me unconditionally. I am happy now.”
For Edwin, who
is due for retirement, Blessy and the children have brought a
quiet contentment into his own life. “I don’t want anything
for myself anymore. All my dreams now are for our children.”
What have they
learned? “There are ups and downs in the marriage life. It
boils down to having the Lord in the relationship,” says
Edwin. “The Lord never abandoned us, especially the times
when the relationship was shaky,” continues Blessy. “Minsan,
kung mag-away kami, talagang nagsisigawan. Sometimes the
children get affected. It’s really God who is working out our
relationship.”
Edwin butts in,
“There is no formula to a perfect marriage. What is
necessary is for the relationship to be centered on the
Lord…to learn from our own experience and use it as a guide.”
Keeping the
passion alive after 16 years is a woman’s job, says Blessy. “Talagang
nasa babae. A woman should demand time. Minsan, si Ed, hindi
n’ya naiintindihan yun. Pero sa akin iba. We have to spend
time together, as often as possible. Kagaya ng pag-uwi,
kelangan magkasama. Minsan pag alam kong kaya ng budget, we
go out without the kids and have our rendezvous.”
The time
investment in the relationship is crucial because “marriage
is for life,” affirms Blessy.
The extra kids
Edwin and
Blessie built their home within the scenic campus of Ebenezer
Bible College and Seminary, in Upper Calarian, Zamboanga
City. It was there, seven years ago, that they adopted an
entire batch of freshmen students, an act that has brought
them many spiritual and emotional blessings.
“We made the
living room extra large to accommodate as many as we could,”
Edwin says. That living room has become, through the years,
for so many students, a playroom, TV room, bedroom, counseling
room, meeting room, dining room, and whatever could be
decently done in such a public space.
This special
ministry started with Edwin’s commitment to help young married
couples who entered seminary. “I wanted to help them, even
just by giving them a little rice.” That little help soon
ballooned into welcoming more and more students into their
lives, eventually becoming foster parents, sharing their home,
their food and their children.
It is no wonder
that more than fifty former students now assigned in churches
all over the Philippines still lovingly call them “Tatay” and
“Nanay.”
Some of them
came home to Blessy and Edwin in a reunion early this year. “There
is a sense of fulfillment when I see all my “anak-anakan”
after 7 years. And all of them are in the ministry! Ang
sarap ng feeling. Pasalamat lang nang pasalamat ako sa
Panginoon,” Blessy shares, some of the emotion still
mirrored in her eyes.
At one side of
the Siva’s house is Edwin’s newest project: a tiny 2-storey
guest house for their numerous “anak-anakan” as an incentive
for them to drop by when they are in Zamboanga City.
For Edwin and
Blessy, the joy of their relationship has overflowed into the
lives of their own children, and the children of others they
now call their own – a fusion of hearts and relationships that
could only be, in Blessy’s words, God-meant.
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