Ten Good Reasons Why you Shouldn't Fuck With Me
One: I am Rich and Powerful
Two: I have an inferiority complex the size of the universe.
I find it easy to assume the roll of complete over-bearing asshole.
Three: I am violent because I have something to prove. I can
very easily superimpose the face of someone I hate onto yours and wake up in a jail cell.
Four: When I eat Tomatos, I often find I have wet myself with pleasure.
To imagine your blood oozing from those porous caverns is enough to make me shiver with pleasure.
Five: If you touch me, I'll flip out and kill you
because of my super-sensitive skin.
Six: I have always wanted to kill, but am
still waiting for the perfect prey. You could
be it.
Seven: I dream of tearing strips of tendon out from
your limbs and licking them with a
forked tongue while you, my
tied-up prey, watches in horror.
Eight: There are some who have watched Natural Born Killers
many times and feel a little crazy afterwards.
I cannot
stop watching Natural Born Killers, and am absolutly fucking psychotically crazy.
Watch it bitch.
Nine. I'm only in the business to scope out potential prey.
Anyone who is interested in my company is
investigated thouroughly for
blood type, hair thickness, and so on.
Ten: I am a vampire with flat teeth.
