Season Thirteen

Season Thirteen Season Thirteen

American Jihad

"I just got called a name. I don't even know what it means."

Arthur: "That kid is an idiot squant."
Serena: "Or just an idiot."

"Denial's a wonderful thing, isn't it?"

Jack: "An angry kid full of rage, just looking for a target."
Serena: "Isn't that what a terrorist is?"

Shangri-La

"Snowballs aren't the only thing that roll down hills, guys."

"So her sex life's better than mine. So what?"

Serena: "It's called 'res ipsa loquitor', Mr. Bergen. I'm sure your attorney will explain it to you."
Attorney: "It's Italian hocus pocus for 'they get a belly full of bupkes'."
Serena: "Actually, it's Latin for 'two half-naked people in an apartment are probably not there to play Scrabble'."

"The only evidence we have against him is he got lucky with two different women."

"In the pantheon of evil, what Gary Bergen did with Fiona Reid doesn't even make the top ten."

Serena: "I was escorted to my junior prom by a college senior. I suppose you'd lock him up."
Jack: "That would depend on the specifics."
Serena: "Good, go arrest him. He's in the state senate now."

"Once the jury hears about the life Fiona's lived, she's Goldilocks and you're the Big Bad Wolf."

"Being 16 forever -- that wouldn't be so bad."

True Crime

Cook: "[The evidence] will publicly slander my client's good name."
Serena: "He's a drug addict and a murderer."

"There's something to be said for the power of the press."

Arthur: "You win the kewpie doll. Tossed one pitch, knocked over two bottles."
Serena: "Don't you mean tossed one illegal pitch?"

Tragedy on Rye

"I used to date a CPA."

"You got to admit, you're not the typical New York City District Attorney."

"We just go on our trigger-happy way until the next election."

Serena: "Every Christmas, my father used to drag us to St. Bartholomew's for midnight mass. The thing that I remember most was the walk home. after the service. Rain or snow, it didn't matter. We still walked, and all the way home the only thing I could think about was, what's wrong with me? Why aren't I like all of those people who actually believe the words that they're singing?"
Jack: "Maybe it was the eggnog your Uncle Harry slipped you."
Serena: "I'm being serious, Jack. My point is, right now I'm more convinced than ever that this job would be a lot easier if I were one of those people from St. Bart's."

"Are you saying that all of this was part of Trial Tricks 102?"

"I just wish that there was a way to prevent all of this from happening again."

The Ring

Jack: "I argued that the Constitution should not only stop dead in its tracks, it should revert back two centuries."
Serena: "Well, that's the difference between school and real life."

Hitman

Open Season

Jack: "What can I get you?"
Serena: "A Kevlaar vest."

"Remind me never to play poker with you, Jack."

* (Asterisk)

"When will people get off O.J.? That verdict was jury nullification, pure and simple."

Serena: "Did you know that far and away the most common users of steroids are teenagers?"
Jack: "Kids have to get bigger to get on the team, to get a scholarship, to get drafted."
Serena: "And the league just turns a blind eye."
Jack: "More home runs means more tickets sold."
Serena: "Yeah, but even if the law is broken?"
Jack: "Special rules for special talents."
Serena: "Well, the upside is that their testicles shrink."

Serena: "Hell of a closing, Jack."
Jack: "I've nothing to apologize for."
Serena: "That's right. Special rules for special talents."

The Wheel

"I don't think we would hesitate to prosecute Mr. Chen if he were a visiting official from New Jersey."

Mother's Day

"Look up 'snob' in your Webster's and you'll see her picture. Kay Hartley had one foot on Wall Street on the first day of school."

"It realy makes my day when a mother kills her son for no reason whatsoever."

"If she was on the road to canonization, she wouldn't have gone along with Kay Hartley's games."

Chosen

Jack: "The facts are against you, argue the law. Law's against you, charm the jury."
Serena: "Gee, was that charm? I thought it was just buffoonery."

Under God

"Father Hogan's looking for martyrdom or sainthood or whatever other ridiculous thing you get these days for being entirely selfless."

"And we're supposed to convince a bunch of jurors that they were delusional all those Sundays that they went to church?"

Jack:"Smile, Serena. This is our Inherit the Wind. This is where we get to prove in a court of law that there is no big guy up there with a white beard pulling invisible strings."
Serena: "So what did those nuns do to you?"

Absentia

Star Crossed

B*tch

Suicide Box

Genius

"No offense, but I didn't care for your clients."

Serena: "We think Clay may have murdered a cabbie in order to rob him. Do you know if he was having financial problems?"
Marta Warner: "How would I know that?"
Serena: "You're his mother. Did he ask to borrow money?"