Season Nine
Season Nine

Cherished

"What Grand Jury?"

"It's like watching Ted Bundy at the beginning of his career."

Carmichael: "I believe he's also killed a dog."
Judge: "You believe?"
Carmichael: "They had a dog, then they didn't."

"It's nothing for the disciplinary committee to sweat over."

"So we send a message it's sort of OK to kill a baby?"

"They lose a few friends. That's your idea of justice?"

"All the Connerys have to offer is their plea bargained remorse!"

"That sorry excuse for a woman has a hole in her soul!"

Abbie: "I have a solution that will make us all happy."
Jack: "What's that?"
Abbie: "No deals for anybody ... lets hang 'em all."

"In fact, as long as you could make her somebody else's problem, you just didn't give a damn, did you?"

DWB

"And now.....all better?"

Jack: "He was there."
Abbie: "And now he's got immunity."

"By the time the Feds are done with Diedtrich, they'll be naming bird sanctuaries after him."

Abbie: "Low-cal?"
Jack: "Excuse me?"
Abbie: "I burn it, I don't store it."

"I'll eat, you graze."

Bait

Stanton's attorney: "Don't worry, Miss Carmichael, we won't insist on an apology."
Abbie: "And none will be forthcoming."

(on why Kevin didn't tell the truth earlier): "And he didn't want his parents to know he's a speed freak, it's very touching."

"Lucky for me, I bailed before the quicksand got past my knees."

Flight

Allgen CEO: "This is just about the Downing boy."
Abbie: "Yeah, just one dead little boy. That help you sleep better?"

Agony

Lawyer: "Where are you going with this, Mr. McCoy?"
Abbie: "Death row."

Jack: "You okay?"
Abbie: "With that butcher looking at me like I'm some kind of carcass on a meat hook? Sure, I'm fine!"

Ashford: "She tells me to get rid of the competition and . . . make it look like some psycho did it."
Abbie: "Guess what. . . some psycho did do it."

"If we have to find him, we can just follow the trail of blood and bones." Jack: "What were you THINKING?"
Abbie: "Well, I'm just taking a page from the Jack McCoy Playbook. Nobody gets to bend the rules but you?"

"We can't have you plead to a crime you didn't commit, Mr. Bergstrom. That would be wrong."

Scrambled

"It's just not a motive I run into very much."

(to Coral, who's trying to convince her that the embryos were murdered): "The embryologist, Sarah Purcell, was definitely murdered."

"Any woman with a brain ought to be able to figure out a better method of birth control!"

Venom

Adam: "Mother and son killing each other's spouses. What the heck kind of family is this?"
Abbie: "A dysfunctional one."

Abbie [to defense counsel, Metzler]: "What mental disease or defect?"
Metzler: "The disease is Lianne Crosby. She abused him, controlled him, pushed him over the edge."
Abbie: "So: Mommy made me do it? You expect to get that by a judge?"

Abbie [re: incest]: "And it's still going on?"
Skoda: "Yeah."
Abbie [in typical Texas-multiple-syllabic-out-of-one-syllable-style]: "Yu-uck."

"So it's a contest which of these two will nauseate the jury the least?"

Punk

"She joined the Paganos in jail. They're an equal opportunity street gang."

(After Alice screams at her) "That went well."

"Your Honor, this woman has some sort of persecution complex."

"I was a freshman. He was a third year law student. We were on a date. I never told anybody. I blamed myself. And not anymore."

True North

"Nice for Stephanie seems to mean she hasn't killed you yet."

Jack: "They caved?"
Abbie: "Morals are morals. Money is money."

Suspect: "First of all I'm not a drug dealer."
Abbie: "Right. You just collect rare cocaine."

"That's nice. Are they going to send the Canadian army down here to help you carry your money and computers home?"

"You can close the bank down. Now."

Hate

"Detective Lamotte's getting good with the remote."

"It [the tape] corroborates that Willis is a friendly guy."

"That's disgusting, what's your point?"

"I can quote Oliver Wendell Holmes too!"

"He's not worth gutting the first amendment over."

Ramparts

Cop: "The whole thing was stupid."
Abbie: "Stopping people from blowing things up is stupid?"

"For god's sake, Jack, why don't you just start your own country? No cops, no bad guys, just sweetness and light as far as the eye can see."

Haven

"Well, maybe he shopped where I shop."

"What is this, affirmative action for murderers?"

Jack: "This case is an open wound. Two people doing the wrong thing for the right reasons."
Abbie: "Well, I hope this wasn't another one of those times."

Hunters

"Our interest trumps your interest."

Attorney: "You can't prove [the gun's] his."
Abbie: "Whose was it, the hotel maid's?"

Abbie: "So how'd the 9 mm get from Barak to Max Sheridan?"
Rey: "Maybe he sold it."
Lennie: "Maybe he lost it."
Abbie: "Maybe you ask him."

"This is a limited time offer, good for ten seconds only. You've already used eight."

"You gotta love 'em."

Sideshow (HLOTS Crossover, Part One)

"You don't like the Independent counsel because he's independent?"

"Oh, great. You made her cry."

Disciple

"Who is this alibi witness, the pope?"

Adam: "This girl died during a religious ritual?"
Abbie: "A do-it-yourself exorcism."

Jack: "Six years at St. Ignatius."
Abbie: "Did they teach you how to do exorcisms, Jack?"

"Saint Michael made her do it."

Adam: "People see the devil as an allegory."
Jack: "I'm not so sure I do."
Abbie: "Horns and a pitchfork, Jack?"

Harm

"Doctors. I can't believe my mother wanted me to marry one."

"I feel like I'm going to the prom with the stamp club geek."

"Those poor doctors might have to hock one of their Porsches!"

"She went in a healthy woman. She came out a corpse."

"You make excuses, I'll make the case."

"That patient's NAME was Maureen Gerard!"

Shield

"Careful you don't get carpet burns on your knuckles!"

Juvenile

Jack: "He just wants the investigation to be ours, not the media's,"
Abbie; "His idea of a quarterback sneak."

"I think she'll just toss her hair back a few times and convince them she didn't."

"She could always give an interview to the Ledger."

Tabula Rasa

Mrs. Fallon: "He wouldn't want us to be late."
Abbie: "So you're late? And what, he starts rearranging the teacups?"

Jack: "How'd the jury react?"
Abbie: "Seven were stone-faced, three felt sorry for her and two thought you were being mean."

Mrs. Fallon: "Those girls are his whole life...and him theirs."
Abbie: "And where does that put you?"

Empire

"I hate to sell out the sisterhood, but maybe she does rely on more than brains to succeed in a man's world."

Ambitious

"Could you ask Mr. Sklar to get his finger out of my face?"

"Stahl and Wilder swam with the sharks. They got bit."

Admissions

"According to the cops, Dr. Clememte has a chip on his shoulder the size of a boxcar."

Jack: "Let's make sure we're not trashing this man's reputation just because he's uncooperative."
Abbie: "But let's not let it go just because he's screaming racism."

"Everyone else said he'd rip her a new eye socket."

Roommate: "Why do you think I would know anything about this?"
Abbie: "Because you're biting your lip so hard it's going to start bleeding soon."

Michaels: "She needed comforting."
Abbie: "And you comforted her by knocking her up?"

Abbie: "Peter Kelly's been expelled."
Jack: "What does he care? Probably goes into the family business."
Abbie: As long as it doesn't require a conscience."

Refuge (1)

"If we find one decimal point out of place, you're on a plane back to the cheese lines in Red Square."

"He's been here six years. He's working the system like a slot machine. I'm still trying to figure out alternate side of the street parking."

"Along with toilet paper, they're having a shortage of hands?"

Refuge (2)

"The Sunshine State. Have gun, will travel."

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