Plot:
Ninja Terminator follows the tradition of Gordon films by having two almost completely unrelated plots going on at once: The ninja plot and the �other� plot. Unlike most of the �other� plots in the Gordon films I`ve seen, this one is pretty good. Actually, wait, no it`s shit, but the fighting is pretty good. Basically the ninja one is this: Gordon (Called Harry in this film, for some reason) and two other ninja each have a piece of a cheap golden ninja statue that makes the ninja invincible if they pray to it for a bit. Gordon has one of the arms, someone else has the other and someone else has the body; praying to the left arm would make that person`s left arm invincible etc. Obviously they all want each other`s bits of the statues, so they go trying to nick each bit from each other, except for Gordon who spends his time saving his wife from vicious marauding crabs and mercilessly massacring watermelons. While this is going on the Ninja Empire is trying to get the three of them to give up their ninja statues by sending them evil foot high plastic robots that have trouble walking without falling over. Meanwhile, the �other� plot is this: There`s this really cool guy called Jaguar-Wong who works for Gordon, and is generally getting into fights for looking for restaurants and taking off his sunglasses. He`s looking for this girl called Michiko, who doesn`t know what the hell`s going on (Like the rest of us), but the bad guys ask her questions and kidnap her a couple of times anyway. It appears that I can`t actually remember a lot of the film, but just keep in mind that Jaguar-Wong is cooler than you are.
Foreground: Some guy`s arse.
Probably the same words that are uttered by Jaguar-Wong at any given time that he`s on-screen, which are, �Heh, heh.�
Best Scene:
There`s so many to choose from. Well, I`d have to say when Jaguar-Wong fights the guy with the blonde wig near the end. Go here for a play-by-play of this scene.
