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"I wish i could turn
back the hands of time..."
Yeah, i just did it. I just let her know unintentionally
that she is a ______ and i didn't mean it. I'm being
a jerk, asshole, patriarchal bastard, whatever. I've
never felt so down in my life... Why did it have to
be this way?
To The "Girl", in dedication
of The "Girl":
"I know you're pissed off with
me. Even though it wun go down my throat comfortably,
I guess im going to accept that fact. Its not going
to be easy for you to forgive me, much less forget
this matter. I hope you're reading this... I admit
i did take a liking to you some time ago. And i was
being jealous of the people whom you gave attention
to, partly because i didnt get any. And i admit, i
dun deserve any place in your heart, as a fren or
otherwise.
You'll never utter a single word
to me again for treating you this way. No amount of
sincerity will soften your heart. Sorry if i caused
you any trouble or if i was being a distraction or
a menace. Sorry for being someone who was there but
wasnt. Sorry for making the most terrible mistake
of my life.
I never wanted things to end this
way. I hope that after these, you will forgive me.
I want to spend my last moments with you but its never
going to be a possibility. Life has never been smooth
for me. It has been unfairly all over against me,
and its all over for me. I'm sorry.."
If you happen to know her or someone
who is close to her, i hope you'll get her to read
this. I may never get to feel the agony of having
a bleeding left wrist and a razor on the other hand
but i'm returning to where i came from... nowhere.
My place isn't here... No, i'm not being a coward.
I'm not running away from my problems. I'm not causing
you people any more problems. I've already done enough
destruction to your lives. I hope you people realise
that i still love you. But my time is up and i cannot
deny this.
"When you are together
with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that
person. But when that special someone is not around,
you might look around to find them. At that moment,
you are in love.
Although there is someone
else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention
might go only to that special someone. Then, you are
in love.
Although that special someone
was supposed to have called you long back, to let
you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet.
You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.
If you are much more excited
for one short sms from that special someone than other
many long sms-es, you are in love.
When you find yourself as
one who cannot erase all the messages in your phone
because of one message from thatspecial someone, you
are in love.
When you get a couple of free
movie tickets, you would not
hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you
are in love.
You keep telling yourself,
"that special someone is just a friend",
but you realize that you can not avoid that person's
special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.
While you are reading this
page, if someone appears in
your mind, then u are in love with that person.
Imagine...
There is a bank that credits
your account each morning with $86,400. It carries
over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes
whatever part of the balance you
failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw
out ALL OF IT, of course!!!! Each of us has such a
bank.
Its name is TIME. Every morning,
it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it
writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed
to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance.
It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account
for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is
yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing
against the "tomorrow." You must live in
the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to
get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR,
ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value
of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature
baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor
of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of ONE
HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize
the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the
train. To realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person
who just avoided an accident. To realize the value
of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver
medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you
have! And treasure it more because you shared it with
someone special, special enough to spend your time.
And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday
is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!!! Friends are
a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and
encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share
a word of praise, and they always want to open their
heart to us."
This article meant a lot to me...
look at the underlined lines. I understand every single
one of them because i have been through them. I did
pretend to ignore her; I did keep looking if she was
around; i have always been waiting for an sms from
her; I have never erased her sms to me; She's
always on my mind...
It's okay if we remain just friends
but i can never accept the fact that i have incurred
the wrath of the person i dearly treasure.
imw|nt3r [...]
1250h [+0800 GMT]
September 28, 2003
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