British Terms Ace - If something is ace it is brilliant. I used to hear it a lot in Liverpool. Kids thought all cool stuff was ace, or brill. Aggro - Short for aggravation, it's the sort of thing you might expect at a football match. In other words - trouble! There is sometimes aggro in the cities after the pubs shut! All right? - This is used a lot around London and the south to mean, "Hello, how are you"? You would say it to a complete stranger or someone you knew. The normal response would be for them to say "All right"? back to you. It is said as a question. Sometimes it might get expanded to "all right mate"? Mostly used by blue collar workers but also common among younger people. Anti-clockwise - The first time I said that something had gone anti-clockwise to someone in Texas I got this very funny look. It simply means counter-clockwise but must sound really strange to you chaps! I think he thought I had something against clocks! Any road - Up north (where they talk funny!!) instead of saying anyway, they say "any road"! Weird huh? Arse - This is a word that doesn't seem to exist in America. It basically means the same as ass, but is much ruder. It is used in phrases like "pain in the arse" (a nuisance) or I "can't be arsed" (I can't be bothered) or you might hear something was "a half arsed attempt" meaning that it was not done properly. Arse about face - This means you are doing something back to front. Arse over elbow - This is another way of saying head over heels but is a little more descriptive. Usually happens after 11pm on a Saturday night and too many lagers! Some Americans say ass over teakettle apparently! Arse over tit - Another version of arse over elbow, but a bit more graphic! Arsehole - Asshole to you. Not a nice word in either language. Arseholed - Drunk! Usually in the advanced stages of drunken stupor, someone would be considered "completely arseholed". Never me, of course! As well - You chaps say also when we would say "too" or "as well". For instance if my friend ordered a Miller Lite, I would say "I'll have one as well". I often heard people saying something like "I'll have one also". Of course in England you wouldn't say it at all for fear of embarrassment! You'd order a pint of lager instead! Ass - Your backside, but mostly a donkey! Au fait - Another one of those French expressions that have slipped into the English language. This one means to be familiar with something. I'd say at the end of reading all this you'd be au fait with the differences between American and English! Backy - Tobacco. The sort you use to roll your own. Bang - Nothing to do with your hair - this is a rather unattractive way of describing having sex. Always gets a smile from Brits in American hair dressers when they are asked about their bangs. Barmy - If someone tells you that you're barmy they mean you have gone mad or crazy. For example you'd have to be barmy to visit England without trying black pudding! Beastly - You would call something or somebody beastly if they were really nasty or unpleasant. Most people would consider you a snob or an upper class git if you used this word. People like Fergie can get away with it though. Bees Knees - This is the polite version of the dog's bollocks. So if you are in polite company and want to say that something was fabulous, this phrase might come in handy. Belt up - For some reason I heard this quite a lot as a kid. It's the British for shut up. Bender - I used to go out on a bender quite frequently when I was at university. Luckily bender doesn't only mean a gay man, it also means a pub crawl or a heavy drinking session. The sort of bender I went out on was the second kind. Obviously! Bespoke - We say something is bespoke if it has been created especially for someone, in the same way that you say custom. For example a computer program might be bespoked for a client, or you may order a bespoke holiday, where the travel agent creates an itinerary around your exact requirements. Best of British - If someone says "The best of British to you" when you are visiting the UK, it simply means good luck. It is short for "best of British luck". Biggie - This is unusual. A biggie is what a child calls his poo! Hence the reason Wendy's Hamburgers has never really taken off in England - who would buy "biggie fries"? Yuck - I'm sure you wouldn't buy poo fries! The other meaning of Biggie is erection. It just gets worse! Bite your arm off - This is not aggressive behaviour that a football fan might engage in. In fact it just means that someone is over excited to get something. For instance you might say that kids would bite your arm off for an ice cream on a sunny day. Bladdered - This rather ugly expression is another way of saying you are drunk. The link is fairly apparent I feel! Blast - An exclamation of surprise. You may also hear someone shout "blast it", or even "bugger and blast"! Blatant - We use this word a lot to mean something is really obvious. Bleeding - An alternative to the word bloody. You'll hear people say "bleeding hell" or "not bleeding likely" for example. Blimey - Another exclamation of surprise. My Dad used to say "Gawd Blimey" or "Gor Blimey" or even "Cor Blimey". It is all a corruption of the oath God Blind Me. Blinding - If something is a blinding success - it does not mean that any eyes were poked out with sharp sticks - it means it was fantastic. Blinkered - Someone who is blinkered is narrow minded or narrow sighted - they only see one view on a subject. It comes from when horses that pulled carriages wore blinkers to stop them seeing to the side or behind them which stopped them from being startled and only let them see where they were going. Bloody - One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. "bloody hell" or "bloody nora". Something may be "bloody marvellous" or "bloody awful". It is also used to emphasise almost anything, "you're bloody mad", "not bloody likely" and can also be used in the middle of other words to emphasise them. E.g. "Abso-bloody-lutely"! Americans should avoid saying "bloody" as they sound silly. Blooming - Another alternative to the word bloody. You might hear someone say "not blooming likely" so that they don't have to swear. Blow me - When an English colleague of mine exclaimed "Blow Me" in front of a large American audience, he brought the house down. It is simply an exclamation of surprise, short for "Blow me down", meaning something like I am so surprised you could knock me over just by blowing. Similar to "Well knock me down with a feather". It is not a request for services to be performed. Blunt - If a saw or a knife is not sharp we say it is blunt. It is also the way most of us speak! In America the knife would be dull. Bob's your uncle - This is a well used phrase. It is added to the end of sentences a bit like and that's it! For example if you are telling someone how to make that fabulous banoffee pie you just served them, you would tell them to boil the condensed milk for three hours, spread it onto a basic cheesecake base, slice bananas on top, add some whipped double cream, another layer of banana and Bob's your uncle! Bodge - We bodge things all the time here. I'm sure you do too! To do a bodge job means to do a quick and dirty. Make it look good for the next day or two and if it falls down after that - hey well we only bodged it! Applies to building, DIY, programming and most other things. Bogey - Booger. Any variety, crusty dragons included! Bollocks - This is a great English word with many excellent uses. Technically speaking it means testicles but is typically used to describe something that is no good (that's bollocks) or that someone is talking rubbish (he's talking bollocks). Surprisingly it is also used in a positive manner to describe something that is the best, in which case you would describe it as being "the dog's bollocks". Englishmen who live in America take great delight in ordering specialised registration plates for their cars using the letters B.O.L.L.O.X. Good eh? Bomb - If something costs a bomb it means that it is really expensive. We say it when we see the price of insurance in the US, you could try saying it when you see how much jeans or petrol cost over here! Bomb - If something goes like a bomb it means it is going really well or really fast. Or you could say an event went down like a bomb and it would mean that the people really enjoyed it. In the US the meaning would be almost exactly the reverse. Bonk - Same meaning as shag. Means to have sex. E.g. "Did you bonk him/her?". Botch - There are two expressions here - to botch something up or to do a botch job. They both mean that the work done was not of a high standard or was a clumsy patch. My Dad used to always tell me that workmen had botched it up and that he should have done the work properly himself. Bottle - Something you have after twenty pints of lager and the curry. A lotta bottle! This means courage. If you have a lotta bottle you have no fear. Brassed off - If you are brassed off with something or someone, you are fed up. Pissed off perhaps. Brill - Short for "brilliant". Used by kids to mean cool. Bugger - This is another fairly unique word with no real American equivalent. Like bloody it has many uses apart from the obvious dictionary one pertaining to rather unusual sexual habits. My father was always shouting "bugger" when he was working in the garage or garden. Usually when he hit his thumb or dropped a nail or lost something. Today we might use the sh** or the f*** words but bugger is still as common. The fuller version of this would be "bugger it". It can also be used to tell someone to get lost (bugger off), or to admit defeat (we're buggered) or if you were tired or exhausted you would be buggered. You can also call someone a bugger. When I won £10 on the lottery my mate called me a "lucky bugger". Bugger all - If something costs bugger all, it means that it costs nothing. Meaning it is cheap. If you have bugger all, it means you have nothing. Bum - This is the part of your body you sit on. Your ass! It might also be someone who is down and out, like a tramp. You might also bum around, if you are doing nothing in particular, just hanging out. Finally to bum something means to scrounge it from someone. Bung - To bung something means to throw it. For example a street trader might bung something in for free if you pay cash right now! Or you could say "bung my car keys over, mate". Bung - A bung is also a bribe. Butchers - To have a butchers at something is to have a look. This is a cockney rhyming slang word that has become common. The reason "butchers" means a look even though it doesn't rhyme is because it is short for "butchers hook" and "hook" of course, does rhyme. C of E - The Church of England. Our official protestant church - of which the Queen is the head. Chat up - To chat someone up is to try and pick them up. If you spotted a scrummy girly in a bar you might try to chat her up. Or a girl might try and chat up a chap! Cheeky - "Eee you cheeky monkey" was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid. Cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word. My licence plate on my MX5 (Miata in American) was CHEEKY, which most Texans thought was something to do with bottoms - wrong!! Cheerio - Not a breakfast cereal. Just a friendly way of saying goodbye. Or in the north "tara" which is pronounced sort of like "churar". Cheers - This word is obviously used when drinking with friends. However, it also has other colloquial meanings. For example when saying goodbye you could say "cheers", or "cheers then". It also means thank you. Americans could use it in English pubs, but should avoid the other situations as it sounds wrong with an American accent. Sorry! Cheesed off - This is a polite way of saying you are pissed off with something. Chivvy along - When I'm standing patiently in the checkout queue at Tesco I like to chivvy along the old ladies in front of me. If only they would stop fannying around and hurry up! Chuffed - You would be chuffed to bits if you were really pleased about something. Clear off! - This expression brings back memories of being a kid and stealing apples from people's gardens. Sometimes we would get caught and some old bloke would come out and shout "oi clear off you lot". It basically means get lost. Cobblers - I have heard people say "what a load of cobblers" more than once. Maybe that's because I talk so much rubbish. An equivalent would be what a load of bollocks. It means you are talking out of your butt and has nothing to do with any kind of dessert! Cock up - A cock up means you have made a mistake. It has nothing to do with parts of the male body. Cockney rhyming slang - There are lots of words that make up cockney rhyming slang. These are basically rhyming words like "butchers hook" which means "look". If you are in London and you hear someone talk about a Septic they are probably talking about you - because it's short for "Septic tank" which equals "yank", which is our word for an American. How do you like that! Codswallop - Another one I heard a lot as a kid - usually when I was making up excuses for how the window got broken or why my dinner was found behind the sofa. My Dad would tell me I was talking a load of codswallop. American kids might be talking baloney under the same circumstances. Cor - You'll often hear a Brit say "cor"! It is another one of those expressions of surprise that we seem to have so many of. It will sometimes be lengthened to "cor blimey" or "cor love a duck", depending on where you are. "Cor blimey" is a variation of "Gawd Blimey" or "Gor Blimey". They are all a corruption of the oath "God Blind Me". Cracking - If something is cracking, it means it is the best. Usually said without pronouncing the last "G". If a girl is cracking it means she is stunning. Cram - Before a big exam you would be expected to cram. This simply means to study hard in the period running up to the exam. Crap - The same word in both countries - but less rude here. I loved watching Brits being interviewed on US chat shows and embarrassing the interviewer when they said something was "total crap". Crikey - Another exclamation of surprise. Some people say "Crikey Moses". Crusty dragon - A booger. One of the really crispy ones. Daft - My Dad used to call me a daft 'apeth which is short for a daft half penny (in old money). It basically means stupid. Dear - If something is dear it means it is expensive. I thought Texan insurance was dear. Dicky - Dicky rhymes with sicky and means you feel sick. Diddle - To rip someone off or to con someone is to diddle them. When you visit England, check your change to make sure you haven't been diddled! Dim - A dim person is stupid or thick or a dim wit. Dishy - If someone is a bit of a dish or a bit dishy it means they are attractive or good looking. DIY - This is short for do it yourself and applies not just to the DIY stores but also to anything that you need to do yourself. For example, if we get really bad service in a restaurant (oh, you noticed!) then we might ask the waiter if it is a DIY restaurant - just to wind them up. Do - A party. You would go to a do if you were going to a party in the UK. Do - If you go into a shop and say "do you do batteries?" it means "do you sell batteries". Do - If you drive along a motorway in the wrong lane the police will do you. You could then tell your friends that you have been done by the police. Prosecute is another word for it! Doddle - Something that is a doddle is a cinch, it's easy. Unlike ordering water in Texas with an English accent, which is definitely not a doddle! Dodgy - If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home, or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided. You never know what they are up to. Dodgy goods may have been nicked. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy and should be avoided! Dog's bollocks - You would say that something really fantastic was the dog's bollocks. I have no idea why - it has nothing to do with hounds and nothing to do with testicles! Dog's dinner - If you make a real mess of something it might be described as a real dog's dinner. A bit like some joint Anglo-American approaches to Eastern Europe for example! Donkey's years - Someone said to me the other day that they hadn't seen me for donkey's years. It means they hadn't seen me for ages. Drop a clanger - When I asked a large lady on the tube if she would like my seat since she was so obviously pregnant, she took the seat then told me she was fat, not pregnant! Boy did I drop a clanger. You might make a gaffe. Either way it was horrendously embarrassing, especially as half the people on the tube had heard me! Duck - In and around Leeds you will find older people might call you "duck" in the same way that they might call you "love" or "dear" in other places. Usually pronounced more like "dook", which rhymes with "book". Duff - Anything that is duff is useless, junk, trash. It usually means that the object doesn't do the job it was intended for. Our last Prime Minister was pretty duff! Duffer - Any person that is duff could be referred to as a duffer. The Prime Minister was a duffer. Dull - You would say something that was no longer sharp was dull. We would say blunt. To us something is dull if it is boring. It can apply to things - like a film could be dull. It also applies to people - I can think of several people who are dull! Engaged - When you ring someone and they are already on the phone you will get the engaged tone. In other words, they will be engaged. You would say you get the busy signal or the line is busy. Excuse me - This is a great one! It's what kids are taught to say when they belch in public. We are also taught to say "pardon me" if we fart out loud. Unfortunately in American "excuse me" means you are encroaching in someone's personal space and you say "pardon me" when you don't hear someone properly. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that actually Americans are not belching and farting all the time. Faff - To faff is to dither or to fanny around. If we procrastinated when getting ready for bed, as kids, our Dad use tell us we were faffing around. Fagged - If you are too lazy or tired to do something you could say "I can't be fagged". It means you can't be Bothered. Fagging - Fagging is the practice of making new boys at boarding schools into slaves for the older boys. If you are fagging for an older boy you might find yourself running his bath, cleaning his shoes or performing more undesirable tasks. Fancy - If you fancy something then it means you desire it. There are two basic forms in common use - food and people. If you fancy a cake for example it means you like the look of it and you want to eat it. If you see someone of (hopefully) the opposite sex then you might fancy them if you liked the look of them and wanted to get to know them a little better!!! Fanny - This is the word for a woman's front bits! One doesn't normally talk about anyone's fanny as it is a bit rude. You certainly don't have a fanny pack, or smack people on their fannys - you would get arrested for that! Careful use of this word in the UK is advised! Fanny around - I'm always telling people to stop fannying around and get on with it. It means to procrastinate. Drives me mad! Fiddle sticks - I have an old Aunt who is much too well mannered to swear. So when the need arises for a swear word, she will substitute "fiddle sticks". Filch - To filch is to steal or pilfer. The origin is apparently unknown. Fit - Fit is a word that I have heard a lot recently - it seems to be making a comeback. A fit bird means a girl who is pretty good looking or tasty! A fit bloke would be the male equivalent. Flog - To Flog something is to sell it. It also means to beat something with a whip, but when your wife tells you she flogged the old TV it is more likely she has sold it than beaten it (hopefully!). Fluke - If something great happened to you by chance that would be a fluke. When I was a kid my Mum lost her engagement ring on the beach and only realised half way home. We went back to the spot and she found it in the sand. That was a fluke. Flutter - I like to have a flutter on the horses. It means to have a bet, usually a small one by someone who is not a serious gambler. Fortnight - Two weeks. Comes from an abbreviation of "fourteen nights". Hence terms like "I'm off for a fortnights holiday" meaning "I am going on a two week vacation". Full monty - Since the movie has come out of the same name I have heard some odd Texan descriptions of what the full monty means. It really has nothing to do with taking your clothes off. It just means the whole thing or going the whole way. That's it. Clearly when applied to stripping it means not stopping at your underwear! The origins of the expression are still under discussion. There are many theories but no conclusive evidence at the moment. Full of beans - This means to have loads of energy. It is a polite way of saying that a child is a maniac. I was often described as being full of beans as a kid and now it is my wife's way of telling me to keep still when she is trying to get to sleep. Strangely the same expression in some parts of the US means that you are exaggerating or talking bollocks! Gagging - Desperate, in a fat slaggy kind of a way. Not nice. Gallivanting - The dictionary says "to gad about", which probably doesn't help much! It means fooling around or horseplay. Gander - When I was a kid, my Dad often used to go off for a gander when we were visiting a new town or village. It means to look around. Gen - Gen means information. If you have the gen then you know what is going on. Gen up - To research a subject or to get some information. Get lost! - Politely translated as go away, this is really a mild way of telling someone to f*** off! Get stuffed! - Even politer way to tell someone to get lost is to tell them to get stuffed. However, this is still not a nice thing to say to someone. Give us a bell - This simply means call me. You often hear people use the word "us" to mean "me". Gobsmacked - Amazed. Your gob is your mouth and if you smack your gob, it would be out of amazement. Good value - This is short for good value for money. It means something is a good deal. Goolies - If you have been kicked in the goolies, your eyes would be watering and you would be clutching your balls! Gormless - A gormless person is someone who has absolutely no clue. You would say clueless. It is also shortened so you could say someone is a total gorm or completely gormy. Grem - The form of gob meaning to spit something out. e.g. Did you see him grem? Yuck. Usually associated with that ghastly noise as the content of the lungs are coughed into the mouth before gremming can take place. Grem is also the word that describes the green lump that is created in the process. You might call it hacking up a hacker. Grub - Food. Similar to nosh. I remember my Dad calling "grub's up", when dinner was ready as a kid. A grub is also an insect larva. Not usually eaten in England. Actually is available in some Australian restaurants! Gutted - If someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted. Like when you are told that you have just failed your driving test! Haggle - Barter and negotiate are other words for haggle. Most people that wangle stuff are usually quite good at haggling. I just learnt that in the USA you dicker over a price, particularly for used cars! Hanky panky - Hanky panky - or "slap and tickle" as some older folks call it - would be making out in America. Hard - After your 20 pints of lager, the curry or the doner, your average 20 year old feels hard. Since his male organ has no chance of working at this stage, hard clearly refers to something else - it means he is ready to fight anything or anybody or to take on any bet. This is the time to make fun of drunken lads by betting them they can't jump off the end of the pier, hang on to the back of a bus etc. Hard lines - This is another way of saying hard luck or bad luck. Hash - The thing you call a pound sign! Before you ask, yes it is also something you smoke - see wacky backy. Also to make a real hash of something means you really screwed it up. Have - This one used to wind me up a treat in Texas. When we were in restaurants with friends, they would say to the waiter something like "Can I get a refill". And the waiter would go and get them a refill. No no no - that's completely wrong. It's "Can I HAVE a refill". Not GET! If you say "Can I GET a refill" in the UK, the waiter will give you a funny look and tell you where to go and GET it - yourself! Healthy - Healthful. I'm not really sure if this is slang or whether the American use of healthful is the real alternative to the English "healthy". We talk about a healthy lifestyle and about healthy food. I never heard anyone say smoking was "unhealthful" in the US but I suppose that must exist too! Her Majesty's pleasure - When visiting England, try to avoid being detained at Her Majesty's pleasure. This means being put in prison with no release date! Hiya - Short for hi there, this is a friendly way of saying hello. Honking - Honking is being sick or throwing up. Presumably this is a problem in New York where there are signs on the streets that say "No Honking". Horses for courses - This is a common saying that means each to his own. What suits one person might be horrible for someone else. If my Dad was trying to understand why my brother had wanted to get his ear pierced he might say "Oh well, it's horses for courses I suppose"! How's your father? - This is a very old term for sex which plays on our apparent British sensitivity. Rather than saying the actual "sex" word you could refer to having a bit of How's your Father, instead - nudge, nudge, wink, wink. The sort of old fashioned saying dragged up by Austin Powers. Hump - If you have got the hump it means you are in a mood. If you are having a hump, it means you are having sex. Care is advised when you try using these words for the first time. It could be embarrassing! Hunky-dory - My English dictionary tells me that hunky-dory means excellent. We would generally use it to mean that everything is cool and groovy, on plan, no worries and generally going well. I'm easy - This expression means I don't care or it's all the same to me. Not to be confused with how easy it is to lure the person into bed! Irony/sarcasm - The cornerstones of British humour. This is one of the biggest differences between the nations. The sense of humour simply doesn't translate too well. Jammy - If you are really lucky or flukey, you are also very jammy. It would be quite acceptable to call your friend a jammy b****rd if they won the lottery. Jimmy - Actually short for Jimmy Riddle. i.e. I'm off for a Jimmy Riddle. This is Cockney rhyming slang for piddle! John Thomas - Yet another word for a blokes willy! I always felt a bit sorry for people who were actually called John Thomas. What were their parents thinking? Jolly - You hear people use this in all sorts of ways, but basically it means very. So "jolly good" would mean very good. A common exception is where you hear people say "I should jolly well think so!" which is more to emphasise the point. Keep your pecker up - This is one way of saying keep your chin up. Use with caution as in some places your pecker is also your willy! Kip - A short sleep, forty winks, or a snooze. You have a kip in front of the telly on a Sunday afternoon. Knackered - The morning after twenty pints and the curry, you'd probably feel knackered. Another way to describe it is to say you feel shagged. Basically worn out, good for nothing, tired out, knackered. Knob - Yet another word for your willy. Knock off - To knock something off is to steal it, not to copy it! Knock up - This means to wake someone up. Although it seems to have an altogether different meaning in the USA! At one time, in England, a chap was employed to go round the streets to wake the workers up in time to get to work. He knew where everyone lived and tapped on the bedroom windows with a long stick, and was known as a "knocker up". He also turned off the gas street lights on his rounds. Another meaning of this phrase, that is more common these days, is to make something out of odds and ends. For example my Dad knocked up a tree house for us from some planks of wood he had in the garage, or you might knock up a meal from whatever you have hanging around in the fridge. Knockers - Another word for breasts. Knuckle sandwich - If somebody offers you a knuckle sandwich you'd be best to decline the offer and leave at the next convenient moment. It isn't some British culinary delight - they're about to thump you in the face. Leg it - This is a way of saying run or run for it. Usually said by kids having just been caught doing something naughty. Well it was when I was a kid! Love bite - You call them hickies - the things you do to yourself as a youngster with the vacuum cleaner attachment to make it look like someone fancies you! Lurgy - If you have the lurgy it means you are ill, you have the Flu. Don't go near people with the lurgy in case you get it! Luvvly-jubbly - Clearly another way of saying lovely. Made famous by the TV show Only Fools and Horses. -ly - These are two letters that seem to be left off words in America. I never heard anyone say something was "really nice" or "really cool", they would say real nice and real cool. We would be sent to the back of the class for grammar like that! Mate - Most chaps like to go to the pub with their mates. Mate means friend or chum. Momentarily - As you come into land at an American airport and the announcement says that you will be landing momentarily, look around to see if anyone is sniggering. That will be the Brits! I never did figure out why they say this. Momentarily to us means that something will only happen for an instant - a very short space of time. So if the plane lands momentarily will there be enough time for anyone to get off? Weird! Morish - Also spelt "moreish", this word is used to describe desserts in my house, when a single helping is simply not enough. You need more! It applies to anything - not just desserts. Mug - If someone is a bit of a mug, it means they are gullible. Most used car salesmen rely on a mug to show up so they can sell something! Mutt's nuts - If something is described as being "the Mutt's" then you'll know it is fantastic or excellent. "The Mutt's" is short for "The Mutt's nuts" which is clearly another way of saying the "Dog's Bollocks"! All clear now? Naff - If something is naff, it is basically uncool. Anoraks are naff, salad cream is also naff. You could also use it to tell someone to naff off, which is a politer way of telling them to f*** off! Nancy boy - If someone is being pathetic you would call them a nancy or a nancy boy. It is the opposite of being hard. For example in cold weather a nancy boy would dress up in a coat, hat, gloves and scarf and a hard guy would wear a t-shirt. It's also another word for a gay man. Nark - If someone is in a nark, it means they are in a bad mood, or being grumpy. It's also the word for a spy or informant. For example a coppers nark is someone who is a police informant - which you might call a stoolie or stool-pigeon. The origin is from the Romany word, nak, meaning "nose". Narked - In the UK you would say that someone looked narked if you thought they were in a bad mood. In the US you might say that someone was pissed. We definitely would not say that, as it would mean they were drunk! Nesh - My Dad used to call me a nesh wimp when I was a kid and I wanted him to take me places in his car because it was too cold to go on my bike. He meant I was being pathetic or a bit of a nancy boy. He might have had a point! Nice one! - If someone does something particularly impressive you might say "nice one"! to them. It is close the Texan good job that you hear all the time. Nick - To nick is to steal. If you nick something you might well get nicked. Nicked - Something that has been stolen has been nicked. Also, when a copper catches a burglar red handed he might say "you've been nicked"! Nookie - Nookie is the same as hanky panky. Something you do with your bird! Nosh - Food. You would refer to food as nosh or you might be going out for a good nosh up, or meal! Either way if someone has just cooked you some nosh you might want to call it something else as it is not the nicest word to describe it. Not my cup of tea - This is a common saying that means something is not to your liking. For example if someone asked you if you would like to go to an all night rave, they would know exactly what you meant if you told them it was not exactly your cup of tea! Nowt - This is Yorkshire for nothing. Similarly owt is Yorkshire for anything. Hence the expression "you don't get owt for nowt". Roughly translated as "you never get anything for nothing" or "there's no such thing as a free lunch". Nut - To nut someone is to head butt them. Nutting is particularly useful when at a football match. Off colour - If someone said you were off colour they would mean that you look pale and ill! Not quite the same as something being off colour in the US! Off your trolley - If someone tells you that you're off your trolley, it means you have gone raving bonkers, crazy, mad! On about - What are you on about? That's something you may well hear when visiting the UK. It means what are you talking about? On the job - If you are on the job, it could mean that you are hard at work, or having sex. Usually the context helps you decide which it is! On the piss - If you are out on the piss, it means you are out to get drunk, or to get pissed. On your bike - A very polite way of telling someone to f*** off. One off - A one off is a special or a one time event that is never to be repeated. Like writing this book! Owt - This is Yorkshire for anything. Similarly nowt is Yorkshire for nothing. Hence the expression "you don't get owt for nowt". Roughly translated as "you never get anything for nothing" or "there's no such thing as a free lunch". Pants - This is quite a new expression - I have no idea where it came from. Anyway, it is now quite trendy to say that something which is total crap is "pants". For instance you could say the last episode of a TV show was "total pants". Pardon me - This is very amusing for Brits in America. Most kids are taught to say "pardon me" if they fart in public or at the table etc. In America it has other meanings which take us Brits a while to figure out. I thought I was surrounded by people with flatulence problems! Parky - Either short for Michael Parkinson, a famous chat show host, or more likely a word to describe the weather as being rather cold! Pass - This means I don't know and comes from the old TV show, Mastermind, where contestants were made to say "pass" if they did not know the answer to the question. Pavement pizza - Well here the pavement is the sidewalk and a pavement pizza is a descriptive way of saying vomit. Often found outside Indian restaurants early on a Sunday morning. Peanuts - I hated one of my summer jobs as a kid because it paid peanuts. The full expression is that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. It is a fairly derogatory way of saying that manual labour doesn't need to be bright and doesn't need a lot of pay. Typically these days peanuts means something is cheap. For example we would say the petrol in the USA is peanuts or costs peanuts. Compared to our prices it is. Pear shaped - If something has gone pear shaped it means it has become a disaster. It might be preparing a dinner party or arranging a meeting, any of these things can go completely pear shaped. Piece of cake - I remember saying it's a piece of cake in front of one of my American friends, who then started looking around for the cake! It means it's a cinch! Pinch - This means to steal something. Though when you say "steal" it is a bit more serious than pinch. A kid might pinch a cake from the kitchen. A thief would steal something during a burglary. Pip pip - Another out-dated expression meaning goodbye. Not used any more. Piss poor - If something is described as being "piss poor" it means it is an extremely poor attempt at something. Piss up - A piss up is a drinking session. A visit to the pub. There is an English expression to describe someone as disorganised which says that he/she could not organise a piss up in a brewery! Pissed - This is a great one for misunderstanding. Most people go to the pub to get pissed. In fact the object of a stag night is to get as pissed as possible. Getting pissed means getting drunk. It does not mean getting angry. That would be getting pissed off! Pissing around - Fooling about, in the sense of messing around or making fun or just being silly. Not terribly polite. Plastered - Another word for loaded. In other words you have had rather too much to drink down your local. It has nothing to do with being covered with plaster though anything is possible when you are plastered. Porkies - More cockney rhyming slang. Short for "porky pies", meaning "pork pies". Rhymes with lies. My Mum always used to tell me I was telling porkies! And she was right! Porridge - Doing porridge means to serve time in prison. There was also a comedy TV series called Porridge about a prisoner starring Ronnie Barker of The Two Ronnies fame. Posh - Roughly translates as high class, though if you look at Posh Spice there are clearly exceptions to the rule! Potty - This isn't just the thing you sit a toddler on - if you are potty it means you are a little crazy, a bit of a looney, one card short of a full deck. Pound sign - Ever wondered why Brits flounder when voicemail messages say to press the pound sign? What on earth is the British currency doing on a phone anyway? Well, it isn't. To a Brit, the pound sign is the wiggly thing we use to denote the UK pound (or quid), in the same way you have a dollar sign. Prat - Yet another mildly insulting name for someone. In fact, this one is a bit ruder than pillock so you probably wouldn't say it in front of Grandma. PTO - This is an abbreviation for "please turn over". You will see it on forms in the UK where you would see the single word over in the USA. Puff - If a Brit starts giggling in your local drugstore - it may be because they have just found a box of Puffs. To some of us Brits a Puff is another word for a fart. Stems from the cockney rhyming slang, to "Puff a dart". Puke - To puke is to vomit or to be sick. You may also hear someone say "you make me puke" - though I hope not! That would mean "you make me sick". Pukka - This term has been revived recently by one of our popular young TV chefs. It means super or smashing, which of course is how he describes all his food. Pull - Me and the lads used to go to the disco when we were on the pull. It means looking for birds. Of course, it works the other way round too. The ladies may also be on the pull, though probably a bit more subtly than the chaps! Pussy - This is what we call our cat, as in "pussy cat", or in the fairytale, Puss in Boots. So if you have a Brit neighbour who asks if you have seen their pussy - try to keep a straight face and think back the last time you saw their cat! Put a sock in it - This is one way of telling someone to shut up. Clearly the sock needs to be put in their loud mouth! Put paid to - This is an expression which means to put an end to something. For example you could say that rain put paid to the cricket match, meaning it stopped play. Quid - A pound in money is called a quid. It is the equivalent to the buck or clam in America. A five pound note is called a fiver and a ten pound note is called a tenner. Quite - When used alone, this word means the same as absolutely! Rat arsed - Yet another term for drunk, sloshed or plastered. You might say loaded. In the UK, loaded is a men's magazine that covers sex and football. Read - If someone asks you what you read at university, they mean what was your major at school. Really - This is one of those words where you say almost the same thing as us, but just can't be fagged to finish it off. The word is "really", not real. You say things like it's real hot, something's real cool, a baby is real cute. If we said that we would be sent to the back of the class for our grammar - or lack of it! Redundancy - If you are made redundant it means you are laid off. Reverse the charges - When you want to ring someone up and you have no money you can call the operator and ask to reverse the charges in the UK. In the US you would call collect. Right - I'm feeling right knackered. That would mean you were feeling very tired. Ring - You would ring someone on the phone not call them, in the UK. Try saying "give me a ring" to the next Brit you meet. This does not work well in reverse. I asked someone in a shop to ring me up and he dragged me to the till and pulled my head across the scanner! Roger - Same kind of problem that Randy has here, except we have people called Roger and no Randys. You will see a strange smile on the face of a Brit every time "Roger the Rabbit" is mentioned!! To roger means to have your wicked way with a lady. My Oxford English Dictionary says to copulate. You might say screw. Round - When you hear the words "your round" in the pub, it means it is your turn to buy the drinks for everyone in the group - nothing to do with the size of your tummy! Since beers are more and more expensive these days, the art of buying the rounds has developed into ensuring you buy the first one before everyone has arrived, without being obvious! Row - Rhymes with "cow" this means an argument. You might hear your Mum having a row with your Dad, or your neighbours might be rowing so loud you can hear them! Rubbish - The stuff we put in the bin. Trash or garbage to you. You might also accuse someone of talking rubbish. Rugger - This is short for "rugby". It is a contact sport similar to your football but played in muddy fields during winter and rain. Not only that, but the players wear almost no protection! Rumpy pumpy - Another word for hanky panky, or a bit of nookie! Something two consenting adults get up to in private! Theoretically! Sack/sacked - If someone gets the sack it means they are fired. Then they have been sacked. I can think of a few people I'd like to sack! Sad - This is a common word, with the same meaning as naff. Used in expressions like "you sad b***ard". Scrummy - This is a word that would be used to describe either some food that was particularly good (and probably sweet and fattening). Or it could also be used to describe an attractive girl, if you were a guy. The reverse is also true! Send-up - To send someone up is to make fun of them. Or if something is described as being a send-up it is equivalent to your take-off. Like Robin Williams does a take-off on the British accent - quite well actually! Shag - Same as bonk but slightly less polite. At seventies parties watch the look of surprise on the Englishman's face when an American girl asks him if he would like to shag. Best way to get a Brit to dance that I know! You can even go to shagging classes! Shagged - Past tense of shag, but also see knackered. Shirty - "Don't get shirty with me young man" was what my Dad used to tell me when I was little. He was referring to my response to his telling off for doing some terrible little boy thing. Like tying my brother to the back of Mum's car or putting my shoes in the toilet. It meant I was getting bad tempered. Shite - This is just another way of saying shit. It is useful for times when you don't want to be overly rude as it doesn't sound quite as bad! Shitfaced - If you hear someone saying that they got totally shitfaced it means they were out on the town and got steaming drunk. Normally attributed to stag nights or other silly events. Shufti - Pronounced shooftee, this means to take a look at something, to take a butchers! It's an old Arabic word, picked up by British soldiers during World War II, in North Africa. Sixes and sevens - If something is all at sixes and sevens then it is in a mess, topsy turvy or somewhat haywire! Skew-whiff - This is what you would call crooked. Like when you put a shelf up and it isn't straight we would say it is all skew-whiff. Skive - To skive is to evade something. When I was a kid we used to skive off school on Wednesdays instead of doing sports. We always got caught of course, presumably because the teachers used to do the same when they were fourteen! Slag - To slag someone off, is to bad mouth them in a nasty way. Usually to their face. Slapper - A slapper is a female who is a bit loose. A bit like a slag or a tart. Probably also translates into tramp in American. Slash - Something a lager lout might be seen doing in the street after his curry - having a slash. Other expressions used to describe this bodily function include; siphon the python, shake the snake, wee, pee, piss, piddle and having a jimmy. Sloshed - Yet another way to describe being drunk. Clearly we need a lot of ways to describe it since getting plastered is a national pastime. Smarmy - Another word for a smoothy, someone who has a way with the ladies for example. Usually coupled with "git" - as in "what a smarmy git". Not meant to be a nice expression, of course. Smart - When we say someone is smart, we are talking about the way they are dressed - you might say they look sharp. When you say someone is smart you are talking about how intelligent or clever they are. Smashing - If something is smashing, it means it is terrific. Smeg - This is a rather disgusting word, popularised by the TV show, Red Dwarf. Short for smegma, the dictionary definition says it is a "sebaceous secretion from under the foreskin". Now you know why it has taken me 3 years to add it in here. Not nice! Rather worryingly smeg is also the name of a company that makes ovens!!! Snap - This is the name of a card game where the players turn cards at the same time and shout "snap" when they match. People also say "snap" when something someone else says has happened to them too. For example when I told somebody that my wallet was stolen on holiday, they said "snap", meaning that theirs had too! Snog - If you are out on the pull you will know you are succeeding if you end up snogging someone of the opposite sex (or same sex for that matter!). It would probably be referred to as making out in American, or serious kissing! Snookered - If you are snookered it means you are up the famous creek without a paddle. It comes from the game of snooker where you are unable to hit the ball because the shot is blocked by your opponent's ball. Sod - This word has many uses. My father always used to say "Oh Sod!" or "Sod it!" if something went wrong and he didn't want to swear too badly in front of the children. If someone is a sod or an "old sod" then it means they are a bit of a bastard or an old git. "Sod off" is like saying "piss off" or "get lost" & "sod you" means something like "f*** off". It also means a chunk of lawn of course. You can usually tell the difference! Sod all - If you are a waiter in America and you serve a family of Brits, the tip is likely to be sod all or as you would call it - nothing. Because we don't know about tipping. Sod's law - This is another name for Murphy's law - whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Sorted - When you have fixed a problem and someone asks how it is going you might say "sorted". It's also popular these days to say "get it sorted" when you are telling someone to get on with the job. Speciality - This is another one where you chaps drop your "I". when I first saw specialty written down in the US I thought it was a mistake. But no! We love our I's! Spend a penny - To spend a penny is to go to the bathroom. It is a very old fashioned expression that still exists today. It comes from the fact that in ladies loos you used to operate the door by inserting an old penny. Splash out - If you splash out on something - it means you throw your senses out the window, get out your credit card and spend far too much money. You might splash out on a new car or even on a good meal. Squidgey - A chocolate cream cake would be squidgey. It means to be soft and, well, squidgey! Squiffy - This means you are feeling a little drunk. Some people also use it to mean that something has gone wrong. Starkers - Avoid being seen starkers when visiting England. It means stark naked. Stiffy - Yet another word for erection. Stone the crows - This is an old expression with the same meaning as "cor blimey". Stonker - This means something is huge. Looking at the burger you might say "blimey what a stonker". It is also used to refer to an erection! Clearly English modesty is a myth! Stonking - This weird word means huge. You might say "what a stonking great burger" if you were in an American burger joint. Strop - If someone is sulking or being particularly miserable you would say they are being stroppy or that they have a strop on. I heard an old man on the train tell his wife to stop being a stroppy cow. Stuff - A recent headline in the New Statesman read "stuff the millennium". Using stuff in this context is a polite way of saying "f*** the millennium". Who cares! Stuff it! You can also say "stuff him" or "stuff her" meaning they can sod off. Suss - If you heard someone saying they had you sussed they would mean that they had you figured out! If you were going to suss out something it would mean the same thing. Sweet fanny adams - This means nothing or sod all. It is a substitute for "sweet f*** all". It is also shortened further to "sweet F A". Swotting - Swotting means to study hard, the same as cram does. Before exams we used to swot, not that it made any difference to some of us. If you swotted all the time, you would be called a swot - which is not a term of endearment! Ta - We said "ta" as kids in Liverpool for years before we even knew it was short for thanks. Table - We use this word in exactly the opposite way. To us a motion is tabled when it is brought to the table, or suggested for consideration. You table a motion when it is left for a later date. Taking the biscuit - If something really takes the biscuit, it means it out-does everything else and cannot be bettered. Some places in America they said takes the cake. Taking the mickey - See taking the piss. Variations include "taking the mick" and "taking the Michael". Taking the piss - One of the things Americans find hardest about the Brits is our sense of humour. It is obviously different and is mainly based on irony, sarcasm and an in-built desire to "take the piss". This has nothing to do with urine, but simply means making fun of someone. Talent - Talent is the same as totty. Checking out the talent means looking for the sexy young girls (or boys I suppose). Tara - Pronounced "churar", this is another word for cheerio or goodbye. Cilla Black, a scouse TV presenter has probably done most to promote the use of this word as she says it all the time on her programmes. Throw a spanner in the works - This is an expression that means to wreck something. Tickety-boo - If something is going well with no problems we would say it is tickety-boo. Tidy - Apart from the obvious meaning of neat, tidy also means that a woman is a looker, attractive or sexy. To - We go to school from ages 5 to 18. You might go to school from ages 5 thru 18. We don't say thru in that context at all. If we did though, we would say "through"! Todger - As if we don't have enough of them already, this is yet another word for your willy, or penis. Toodle pip - This is an old expression meaning goodbye. However, I only hear it when Americans are doing impressions of Brits as it has fallen into disuse, along with steam trains and gas lights. Tool - Yet another word for your willy or penis. You'd think we were obsessed. Tosser - This is another word for wanker and has exactly the same meaning and shares the same hand signal. Unfortunately my house in Texas was in Tossa Lane, which was a problem when telling older members of the family where to write to me! Totty - If a chap is out looking for totty, he is looking for a nice girl to chat up. There is an Italian football player called Totti - which is pronounced the same. It's really funny hearing the commentators when he gets the ball saying "it's Totty for Italy". It sounds like some beautiful Italian girlies have invaded the pitch. TTFN - Short for "ta ta for now". Which in turn means goodbye! Said by older folks and one Radio Two DJ in particular. Twat - Another word used to insult someone who has upset you. Also means the same as fanny but is less acceptable in front of your grandmother, as this refers to parts of the female anatomy. Twee - Twee is a word you would generally hear older people say. It means dainty or quaint. A bit like the way you chaps think of England I suppose. U - A letter used far more in British. It is in words like colour, favour, labour etc. I think this is why UK keyboards have 102 characters on them instead of your 101, or is it because they have a pound sign on them? Uni - Short for university, we would say we went to uni like you would say you went to school. School here is just for kids. Wacky backy - This is the stuff in a joint, otherwise known as pot or marijuana! Waffle - To waffle means to talk on and on about nothing. It is not something you eat. Americans often think that Brits waffle on about the weather. The truth of course is that our news reports last 60-120 seconds and the weather man is not hyped up to be some kind of superstar as he is on the TV in the US. If you want to see an example of real waffle watch the weather channel in Texas where there is nothing to talk about other than it is hot and will remain so for the next 6 months. Another example is the ladies who waffle on about anything on the Home Shopping Network. They would probably be classed as professional wafflers! Wangle - Some people have all the luck. I know some people that can wangle anything; upgrades on planes, better rooms in hotels. You know what I mean. Wank - This is the verb to describe the action a wanker participates in. Wanker - This is a derogatory term used to describe someone who is a bit of a jerk. It actually means someone who masturbates and also has a hand signal that can be done with one hand at people that cannot see you shouting "wanker" at them. This is particularly useful when driving. Waz - On average, it seems that for every pint of lager you need to go for a waz twice! A complete waste of time in a serious drinking session. It means wee or pee. Well - Well can be used to accentuate other words. for example someone might be "well hard" to mean he is a real man, as opposed to just "hard". Something really good might be "well good". Or if you were really really pleased with something you might be "well chuffed". Grammatically it's appalling but people say it anyway. Welly - If you "give it welly", it means you are trying harder or giving it the boot. An example would be when accelerating away from lights, you would give it welly to beat the guy in the mustang convertible in the lane next to you. Welly is also short for wellington boots, which are like your galoshes. Whinge - Whingers are not popular in any circumstance. To whinge is to whine. We all know someone who likes to whinge about everything. Willy - Another word for penis. It is the word many young boys are taught as it is a nicer word than most of the alternatives. Some people also use it for girls as there are no nice alternatives. Hence "woman's willy". Also used by grown ups who don't wish to offend (this word is safe to use with elderly Grandparents). Wind up - This has a couple of meanings. If something you do is a "wind up" it means you are making fun of someone. However it you are "wound up" it means you are annoyed. Wobbler - To "throw a wobbly" or to "throw a wobbler" means to have a tantrum. Normally happens when you tell your kids they can't have an ice cream or that it's time for bed. Wonky - If something is shaky or unstable you might say it is wonky. For example I changed my chair in a restaurant recently because I had a wonky one. Write to - When visiting the US one can't help noticing that you write each other. You don't "write to" each other. Here it would be grammatically incorrect to say "write me" and you would be made to write it out 100 times until you got it right. Yakking - This means talking incessantly - not that I know anyone who does that now! Yonks - "Blimey, I haven't heard from you for yonks". If you heard someone say that it would mean that they had not seen you for ages! Zed - The last letter of the alphabet. The English hate saying zee and only relent with names such as ZZ Top (Zed Zed Top does sound a bit stupid!). Zonked - If someone is zonked or "zonked out" it means they are totally knackered or you might say exhausted. When a baby has drunk so much milk, his eyes roll into the back of his head, it would be fair to say he was zonked!     Anorak - No - not an article of clothing (though it means that too), an anorak is another word for a nerd or a square. Apparently originated from the anoraks that were worn by trainspotters whatever the weather. If you are described as being a bit of an anorak, beware! Barmaid - A female bartender in a pub is called the barmaid. Barman - The bartender in a pub is called the barman. Barrister - An attorney that would represent you in court. Not that I know, of course! Beefeater - This is the name given to the guards at the Tower of London and a chain of cheap steak restaurants. One is worth visiting, one is worth avoiding! Bender - A bender is a gay man. Also referred to as a woofter and a few rather unsavoury terms that you'll have to visit England to find out! Berk - A fool. I remember giggling every time James Burke came on telly when I was kid. Also spelt "burk". The origin is quite interesting - it is another rhyming slang word that many people don't even realise is short for "Berkeley-Hunt", who was an 1890s stage idiot. Hunt rhymes with, well use your imagination! It's OK to say berk. Big girl's blouse - This is a nice way of saying someone is a wimp. It means someone is being pathetic. It works well for girls and blokes. The Bill - The police, or the thing you ask for after a meal in a restaurant. In the US that is called the check. Bird - Your bird is your girl. A bit old fashioned and only used by your Dad or Grandad. Not very politically correct. Bloke - A guy in American. A "good bloke" would be like a "nice guy". Bobby - Yet another word for policeman. Boffin - This is the word for a nerd. Usually male, a boffin would be highly intelligent, have no dress sense and probably grow up to be a mad scientist or an HTML programmer! Bonce - Your bonce is your head! So if someone tells you to use your bonce it means "think about it". Bristols - This is a good example of a word that most Brits would know, but not necessarily realise it was derived from rhyming slang. Bristols means breasts. If you haven't worked it out yet, bristols is short for bristol city's (a football team), city's rhymes with titties, i.e. breasts! Easy huh! Brum - Short for Birmingham. People from brum are brummies and they speak brum, a kind of English! Brummy - A person from Birmingham who speaks brum. Bum chum - Another name for a gay man. We have lots of other expressions, too numerous to list here. Some of the less offensive include shirtlifter and arse bandit. Buns - Some elderly ladies have buns on their heads. This is not a terrible deformity, the bun is actually rolled up hair in the shape of a currant bun. Burk - Fool. I remember giggling every time James Burke came on telly when I was kid. Also spelt berk. Busker - Street entertainer to you. Someone who makes his or her living by singing, playing or acting on the street to amuse the crowds of passers by. Busking is down to a fine art at Covent Garden in London - it's worth the trip. Reminds me of the buskers outside Quincey Market in Boston. Butterfingers - You would call someone butterfingers if they were clumsy and dropped something. Cack-handed - Someone who is cack-handed is clumsy. My Mum was putting her buns in the oven one afternoon and tipped the tray upside down and said she was all cack-handed. Cake hole - This is another one I heard a lot as a kid. My Dad use to say "Shut your clanging cake hole". Now that I am a foot taller than him he might say something more like "Could you please be quiet"! It basically means your mouth. Cashier - This is the person in the bank who talks to the public over the counter. You would call them tellers. Chalk and cheese - This isn't some weird British recipe, it is short for the expression "as different as chalk and cheese". You hear it when people are bitching about other couples they know who are very different to each other. You might say like night and day. Chap - A guy in American. Men and women are sometimes referred to as chaps and chapesses. Christian name - This is your first name. You would see it on forms that require both parts of your name separately. We generally ignore middle initials as fairly irrelevant and avoid the use of additions like "junior" and "IIIrd", unless you happen to be a king, of course. Chuck - Another term of endearment from up north. Pronounced more like chook. Rhymes with dook! Chum - Your chum is your friend. We might also say mate. Clever clogs - Same as clever dick and smart arse - this is a wise guy. Clever dick - This is a bit of a wise guy, not performing tricks with certain parts of the body! Clot - If someone calls you a clot, please be offended. It means you are stupid. A dim wit! Of course, if you really are a clot, then you probably won't notice! Cloth ears - This is the polite way to call someone a deaf git! Politely put it simply means you are deaf. Codger - An old codger is an old bloke. An old timer to you. Copper - Either a policeman or the coins in your pocket that are not silver. Dapper - If you are particularly well dressed, you would be described as being dapper. Dim wit - Someone who is thick is a dim wit or just dim. Avoid using this word when addressing police in the UK, but feel free to try it in the US! Dip stick - Apart from being something you find in your car, a dip stick is someone who is stupid or who has done something stupid. I get called it all the time! Divvy - This is another word like dip stick for someone who is a bit stupid. Dog's body - A dog's body is a gofer. Someone who gets all the menial tasks to do, like fetching and carrying. It doesn't mean they have four legs and a tail. Don - I recently took a friend from Austin to Oxford to punt up the river and have a cream tea in the university. We ate in the main hall of one of the colleges and at one end there is separate table for the dons. They are the professors at Oxford or Cambridge universities. Duck - Another term of endearment from up north. Pronounced more like "dook". Rhymes with "chook"! Duffer - An old duffer is either someone who is not very good at something or someone who is old. Like an old geezer. Dustman - The man who empties your dustbin. garbage collector in the US. Estate agents - The people who can make even the most disgusting property sound desirable - realtors to you. Father Christmas - Santa Claus in America, though I'm not sure he's the same bloke. I saw him in London when I was leaving for New York, and when I arrived, hey he was there too! Fire brigade - This is the fire department. Dial 999 for a demonstration. Flat mate - This is what you call a room mate. It's someone you share your flat with. After all the clue is in the name. Whenever an American tells me they have a room mate I worry about them sharing a room at their age - or even question their sexuality! Flower - Whenever I visit my relatives up north I seem to be called "flower" quite often. It is simply a term of endearment. I reckon they call you that when they can't remember your real name! Forehead - Actually this is the same word in both languages. It is just the pronunciation that is different. Generally in the US it is pronounced fore-head and in the UK it is forrid. Fresher - During your first year at university you would be referred to as a fresher. You would be called a freshman in the US. Gaffer - This is a word for an old bloke or a workman's boss or the foreman of a team of labourers. A "good gaffer" would be a good boss. Geezer - Another word for bloke but mostly heard in London. Git - I have never been able to describe this northern term for someone who is a jerk, an undesirable, a prat. "You ignorant git" is a popular use of the word. Gob - This word is used as a noun, meaning your mouth, hence the gobstopper is used to fill it up! The other use is as a verb. You would not gob your gobstopper out as it would be rude. Some people gob on the pavement, meaning they spit green stuff out in public. Not nice. Gooseberry - To be a gooseberry is to be the third person on a date. If two guys are in bar and one of them successfully chats up a girly, his mate becomes a gooseberry and feels a bit awkward! You would feel a bit of a gooseberry if you accompanied a couple on a date. Grockles - This is a word I heard a lot when I was a kid in the West Country. It means tourists. So if you hear someone in the UK mention the word "grockles" they are probably talking about you! Guard - When travelling by train, the man that collects your tickets is called a guard, not a conductor as you have in the US. Strangely if it was a bus we would call them a conductor, even though they don't have a baton and there is no orchestra in sight! Gumby - This is mild insult that is safe to use in public when someone is not using their brain. Used with people you know usually, though you could try calling your British waiter a gumby when he brings you water with no ice in it - see where the water ends up! Guv - I've been called "Guv" or "Guv'nor" a few times by taxi drivers in London. It's an East End expression, short for "Governor" which roughly translates as Sir, used to address a man when you don't know his name. Hooray Henry - I am not aware of an American equivalent to a hooray henry. It is a phrase that came in a few years ago to describe the young upper class. They talk like they have a plum in their mouths and say things like "OK yar"! Similar to yuppie. Hooter - Your hooter is your nose. The clue is in the noise you make when you blow it! Some people even have one that looks like a hooter, just for effect I think. It's also the horn on a car. Just imagine how shocked Brits must be when they go to the bar you have called Hooters and they find that the waitresses all have normal noses - disappointing! Jammy beggar - You may hear people being called a jammy bugger, jammy beggar or jammy bastard. It just means they have been lucky! Job's worth - A job's worth is a person who is inflexible in their job, even if it means upsetting their customer. For example, if a restaurant served custard with apple pie and you wanted ice cream instead, a job's worth would be the kind of waiter who would refuse to give you ice cream because it wasn't listed like that on the menu. The excuse would be that it was more than their job's worth. Konk - This is not a very nice way of describing someone's nose. Landlady - The lady owner (or these days more often the manager) of a pub is called the landlady. Stems from the origin of most pubs being inns with accommodation. Many still do of course, though the name landlady applies to all pub owners, even if they have no rooms to let. Landlord - The same as landlady except where the proprietor is a bloke! Loaf - My Dad was always telling me to use my loaf. It means use your head and comes from rhyming slang. Loaf is short for loaf of bread, which rhymes with head. Lollipop man - Every kid loves the lollipop man (or lady of course). They stand in the middle of the street and hold this huge lollipop up to stop the traffic as the kids cross the road. Actually it's not a real lollipop - it is a sign that tells the traffic to "STOP, CHILDREN CROSSING". Sometimes called a crossing guard in the US. Long sighted - We say long sighted when you would say far sighted. Lug holes - These are your ears. Mate - Buddy or friend. You might go to the pub with your mates for a few lagers followed by a greasy doner. Mean - We often say people are mean if they are tight fisted, stingy or hold on to their money. This often confuses my American chums who think I'm talking about people being horrid. Morris dancer - Around May, you are likely to see a group of morris dancers, seemingly sane men who dress up in knee length britches, long socks, with ribbons flying from various parts of their bodies. They dance around poles with long sticks in their hands much to the amusement of passers by. Then they go home and don't come out until the following May. Mother - Don't be alarmed if a British bloke says "Shall I be Mother?". This would happen when the family sit down to a pot of tea or a slice of cake and someone needs to pour or cut for everyone. Whoever gets to do the honours is being "Mother". Mum - Mom in the US. Namby pamby - Avoid being called a namby pamby when visiting the UK. It means you are acting like a big girl's blouse! You're being a wimp - like not having the courage to try haggis or black pudding. Naughty bits - If you have seen the British TV show "Monty Python" you may have come across this rather silly expression for describing ones genitals. Nobby no-mates - An imaginary name for someone with no friends. You call people this when they have not been invited to something you have, just to be horrid! Nosey parker - Someone who sticks their nose into everyone elses business. Nutter - Someone who is crazy would be described as a nutter - you might say a nutcase. On your tod - If you are on your tod it means you are all on your own. A more recent expression is to say you were Nobby no-mates. Ahh, sad! Page three girl - One of the cheap and cheerful newspapers in the UK is The Sun. It is most famous for it's page three girl, a different topless girl every day. Of course, most people buy it for the news. Mmmm! Pillock - Another mildly insulting name for someone. If someone had just done something stupid you would say "you pillock". This one is safe in front of grandparents. Plod - The police. This one originates from an Enid Blyton character in the Noddy stories - Mr Plod the Policeman. I hope the Teletubbies don't make their way into the English language in the same way - just imagine - "I'm off to clean the carpet with the Noo Noo" or "I'm out of the closet now everyone knows I'm a Tinky Winky". Plonker - Either another word for your penis, your John Thomas or your dick. Or an inoffensive term for someone who is a bit of a wally. Most well known in the phrase "Rodney - you plonker" from the British sitcom - Only Fools and Horses. If someone is taking the piss, or making fun of you, they would also be "pulling your plonker". Po-faced - When we were kids, if someone told a rude joke at the dinner table and everyone laughed - sometimes my Dad would sit there po-faced. In other words he was not amused and would keep a straight face. Actually he would remember the joke for work but wasn't going to admit that to the kids was he now!! Probably derived from "poker faced". Ponce - Poncey things and poncey people are a bit girlie! It is not exactly another word for gay but it's getting close. A ponce is also another word for pimp, who lives off a prostitute's earnings. And it also has another meaning and that is to scrounge so one might try to ponce a fag off your mate, meaning you would scrounge a cigarette. Poofter - An extended version of the word "poof", this is how you could refer either to a gay man or to a guy who is being a bit of a nancy boy or woofter. A good example of where the difference in usage becomes a problem can be see at http://www.collegedepot.com/coolatmo/poof.htm where they are trying to sell poofs! Mmm don't think they will sell too many to Brits! Posty - Your postman is the posty. You would call him the mailman. Prefect - I hated the prefects at school. They are your peer students who are allowed to stay in at lunch times and guard the doors to keep the rest of us out in the cold and the rain - and that was just the summers! You might call them monitors though I'm not sure there is a direct translation. Punter - Punters are customers. Originally came from the betters at the racetracks but has extended in use to mean anyone who should be persuaded to part with their money. Randy - A friend of mine visited a company in the US and was asked to wait in the reception with a cuppa whilst the receptionist went to "get Randy". My friend said he was just hoping for a biscuit! Randy is not a name in England. It means you're horny or you're ready for sex. If your name is Randy, try alternative approaches with Brits! Red Indian - This is an Indian from America. You just call them Indians. We use the word "Indians" to mean people from India! Well the clue is in the name! Room mate - This is someone you share your bedroom with in a flat. We think you all share rooms because you use this expression to mean someone you share the whole flat with - get it right! Scatty - I know lots of scatty people. Otherwise known as scatterbrains. You would probably call them whacky but probably not whackerbrains! School leaver - This is what we call a college graduate. Next stop - work or university. Scouse - This is the language used by Liverpudlians (people from Liverpool, like me!). It is basically English but hard to understand. Rhymes with "house". Scouser - Someone from Liverpool would be a scouser. Scrubber - This is a nasty way of referring to a loose woman. Similar to tart or floozy. Septic - Try not to be offended, but this means an American. It's actually the rhyming slang for yank. Septic is short for "septic tank" and tank rhymes with yank. Now you know! Shareholder - Someone who owns shares in a company. You would call them stockholders. Short sighted - We say short sighted when you would say near sighted. Sideboards - Sideburns in the USA - though we say both words here. Skiver - A skiver is someone who evades something. For example a truant is someone who skives off school instead of studying - I should know! Slag - A slag or an "old slag" is not a very nice way of describing a woman who is a bit loose, a bit of a slapper. Slapper - A less offensive word than slag, this is another way of calling someone a tart, a major flirt. Smart arse - No - not a "clever bottom", this is someone who is a bit too clever for their own good. A wise guy. Often used to describe someone who has an answer for everything. Solicitor - This is our word for an attorney. So when we see signs in the US that say "No Soliciting" it sounds like attorneys are not welcome there. Well where are they welcome exactly? Sponger - Someone who borrows or begs and does nothing to earn their own money. People sponge off their friends or some who refuse to work and collect dole money sponge off the state. Spotty youth - This is a generic term used by older people to refer to teenagers. The "spotty" refers to the fact that they may well have acne. Sprog - A baby. Most people have between 2 and 3 sprogs in the UK. Except the Catholics who have lots! Squire - "Morning squire" is something you may hear in England. Squire is used to mean Sir. Staff - We use this word to refer to the employees in a company in general. Swot - We used to call the boys at school "girlie swots" if they preferred to do homework and study, rather than proper kids things like shoplifting and hiding from teachers. It was not cool to be a swot. Funny how they all ended up with the best jobs though - must be a coincidence! Tart - You old tart! That's what you'd say to someone whose morals are a little loose. A bit too much flirting. Normally you'd hear people being described as having been a tart after the office Christmas party, if they were caught snogging their secretary! People may also dress like a tart - maybe if their skirt is too short! Used to apply only to women but these days it is a mild insult used for both sexes. Thick - If someone is thick it means they are stupid. You might hear it said that someone is "thick as shi*" - that means they are really stupid! Thicko is a nicer way of saying someone is stupid though - try it on your friends! Toff - A toff is someone who is rather well spoken, upper class and looks down on the rest of us. My mate calls them "posh gits". Trainspotter - Not your mate. Not that you'd admit to anyway. A trainspotter is a particularly sad breed of middle-aged man, usually wearing a cardie and an anorak. He stands on the end of railway station platforms and writes down the registration numbers of trains. Fun eh? Pretty close to a nerd in American. Tramp - This is a homeless person who begs on street corners. We don't use this word in the flirting sense that you have. Turf accountant - This is one of the words we use to describe a bookie. You will see it outside their shops. We also use the expression "betting shop". The best place to bet, though, is on the racecourse - great fun. Ulcer - When I got an ulcer in Austin I went to about 5 drug stores before I found someone who had a clue what an ulcer might be. After speaking to all the pharmacists it was the spotty faced youth stacking the shelves in Albertson's who told me what I had was a canker. Up the duff - If a woman is up the duff it means she is pregnant. Very well - When someone says hello to you in England and asks how you are, please don't say good. Say you are "very well". Good is a behavioural thing, which would mean you are a good boy or girl and haven't been naughty today!! Which doesn't really answer the question, does it? Vet - In England, vets look after the health of our animals and pets. They are rarely seen loitering on street corners, begging for work or money. The first American who told me he was a vet heard all about my dog before he put me straight! Whoops! You call them veterinarians I believe. Wally - This is another term for someone who has been a bit stupid. Unlike the previous examples, this one is safe with the elderly or the young. Wazzock - The same as a pillock - it's someone who has done something stupid. Not too offensive. Weed - Every school has their fair share of weeds. They are the skinny little wimps that wear glasses and get picked on. A healthy part of growing up, I'm sure. Woofter - If you are a gay man you might be called a "woolly woofter" or just woofter. This is one of the less offensive terms. Wuss - Pronounced "woos" this is another word for a big girl's blouse, or namby pamby. Yank - An American. The Brits refer to the Americans as "yanks" in general. Whether you are from the north or the south! You lot - You guys. My Dad would often come and find my brothers and I up to no good. He would say "what are you lot up to"?     24 hour clock - 24 hour clock is used quite widely in the UK. Military time, as you call it, ensures there is no confusion between am and pm times, particularly on timetables for planes and trains for example. 999 - 911 to you. I have no idea why we have different emergency service numbers. Just to ensure that foreigners never get help when they REALLY need it I guess! A-Level - At 18, school kids take around three A-Levels. These are the qualifications that will get them into university or not, depending on the results. University entrance in the UK is based solely on merit so these exams are important. Similar to SATs in the US. Advert - Commercial. An advert on the TV (or ad, or advertisement) is what you would call a commercial. We also use the same word for printed ads in magazines and newspapers etc. Aeroplane - Airplane to you. AGM - Most clubs, societies and companies hold an Annual General Meeting. In the business sense it is a meeting of the shareholders. Aluminium - This is aluminum to you. Dunno why they are spelt and pronounced differently. It is pronounced Al-u-min-i-um. Maybe it is to differentiate it from Plat-in-i-um. Just kidding! American football - What you call football. Now we have it too, we have to give it another name, hence American Football. Autocue - I was involved in making a short training film whilst I was in Austin. I realised autocue was not an American word when I asked for one. Everyone just looked at each other then laughed at me. They had no idea I was asking for a teleprompter. Autumn - The season after summer. Fall is something we do when we get pissed! B&B - All over England and the rest of the UK you will see signs outside people's houses with B&B on them. These are bed & breakfasts and are the cheapest kind of accommodation available here. Quite the opposite of American B&Bs as I found out in California. I was amazed to find that the house had been done out like a Laura Ashley shop and cost the earth to stay at. In the UK B&B basically consists of a room in someone's house and a good cooked breakfast. Don't forget the black pudding! Bank holiday - There are about five bank holidays every year in Blighty. They are the days that everyone has off. They are called bank holidays because the banks close on them, as do most businesses. In America they are called public holidays. Examples would be August Bank Holiday, New Year's Day and Spring Bank Holiday. Bar billiards - There is no equivalent in the US as far as I know. This is great pub game on a pool sized table but it's different. You have seven white balls and a red one. There are no pockets around the table but there are 9 holes in the table surface and three wooden mushrooms. The object is to shoot from one end of the table and get balls into the holes without hitting the mushrooms over, but after hitting another ball. It doesn't sound much but it is brilliant fun, especially after a couple of pints of scrumpy. Don't visit England without trying it at least once. More Info. BBC English - BBC English is used by many people to mean the proper pronunciation of English words, or a standard accent. Recently, though, the BBC have completely ruined this by employing people with all sorts of regional accents, including cockneys who really don't talk proper at all mate! Beeb - The Beeb is the nickname for the BBC, the British Broadcasting Company, our main TV company. We all pay a licence fee to watch the BBC but it does mean that there are no ads on their channels. Big dipper - The big dipper is the roller coaster. However by American standards perhaps we should call them "little dippers" as yours are generally a little larger than ours! We also call the "plough" star system the "big dipper". Big Issue - Walking around London you may well have rough looking people come up to you and shout "Big Issue". Try not to act alarmed - they are normally homeless people who make about a quarter for every issue they sell. You should buy one and help them out. The Big Issue magazine is there to talk about homeless issues and help homeless people make a buck - well a quid actually! Bill - Don't ask for a check at the end of a meal in the UK - you'll just confuse the waiter or waitress. They won't know whether you want a health check, spell check or a time check! Ask for the bill. Billiards - A ball game with three balls, one red and two white, played on a table like a pool table but bigger. The original billiards table had no pockets and points were only scored by making cannons - making your white hit both other balls. Today's billiards tables have pockets, so that scores are made by cannons but also by pocketing a ball, after hitting any other ball. Billion - Amazing isn't it. We have the same word for almost the same thing. In fact a billion in American is a thousand million but in English it is a million million, though recently we have started to use your version so as to avoid over generous tips. Biro - A ballpoint pen. The most popular brand is Biro and now everyone calls every pen a Biro. Blighty - Another word for England. Blinkers - These are the things that horses wear to stop them seeing anywhere other than straight ahead. You call them blinders. Blu tac - Blu tac is what you would call poster putty. However, we call all similar objects blu tac, whatever their real name is. Just like you do with xerox machines and we do with hoovers! Boarding school - These are the schools where kids live as well as learn. Some of them also take day boys and girls. Bob - You still hear older folks talking about a couple of bob, meaning a couple of shillings. Nowadays a shilling would be five pence and a couple of bob would be ten pence. My Grandfather used to give me ten bob to buy sweets with. However, he was actually giving me fifty pence but was translating back about 20 years for his own benefit. Bob-a-job - Even after decimalisation in the UK, bob-a-job lived on for many years. Once a year the cub scouts went around the village or town with their bob-a-job forms with the objective of doing little jobs for people for a bob a go, or 5 pence as it became. The problem with bob-a-job, even when I was a cub, was that the name didn't move with the times and some people took it a bit too literally. There was nothing worse than cleaning two cars, mowing the lawn, washing the windows then being given five pence by some stingy old bloke. Bonfire night - "Remember, remember the 5th of November. Gunpowder, treason and plot". Although Halloween originated in England, it is not celebrated as wildly here as it is in the US. But a week later, everyone in England lights a huge bonfire and sets off lots of fireworks and eats burgers, baked potatoes, hot dogs, parkin cake and all sorts of other goodies, huddled around the fire. Every community and many companies organise bonfires for those with no garden. It is all in celebration of Guy Fawkes who tried to blow up the houses of parliament. What a great thing to celebrate! A guy is burned on the fire, made by the kids from old clothes and stuffed with straw and paper. A guy is an effigy of a human. May be the forerunner to the famous Texas A&M bonfire! Booze cruise - Booze is cheaper in France and it is worth the trip just to stock up on alcohol. The cheapest way to do this is to take one of the booze cruises offered by the ferry companies. Basically you and bunch of your buddies take the ferry to France, drinking all the way, stock up on booze in a French hypermarket (still drinking), then jump back on the ferry to England and do some more drinking. Generally sleep is avoided and if you feel unwell the side of the boat is very convenient. To be avoided! Brackets - Parentheses to you. Or the things that hold shelves up! Car boot sale - This has nothing to do with the boots you wear on your feet. A boot sale is where hundreds of people descend on a field with cars full of unwanted wedding presents, clothes and other junk. They set it all out on wallpaper pasting tables for the general public to come and buy. I did my first one recently, selling all my unwanted stuff from the boot of my Explorer - it started at 7:30am on a Sunday and the people were so eager to see what we had they were helping us unpack the boxes - nightmare! Still we made seventy quid from stuff we would have thrown away! It's like an outdoor garage sale. Carnival - Every winter, thousands of people build floats that are pulled behind tractors, covered in lights, made up into all kinds of weird scenes to take part in the carnival. The event moves from town to town and takes place every night in the dark so that the scenes can be lit up. Tens or hundreds of floats will take part in a carnival. In the US it is called a parade. Carvery - This is a British wonder. The best Sunday would consist of getting up late, trundling down to a remote country pub and having the carvery. This consists of roast joints of meat. There will be a whole turkey, a leg of pork (with the skin on, scored, salted and roasted HOT so that it turns into crackling), leg of lamb and a big piece of beef. This will all be accompanied by the usual apple sauce (pork), mint sauce (lamb) and Yorkshire pudding (beef) as well as roast potatoes, roast parsnips and other sundry vegetables with a large jug of gravy, made from the meat juices, in the pan it was roasted in. Mmmmmmm. Cashpoint machine - ATM to you, cashpoint for short. This last year the banks have started to introduce charges to use ATMs from other banks - not a popular move. Casualty - This is where you go in the hospital when you have an accident. You call it the emergency room. These days you also see A&E on the signs, which is short for Accident and Emergency. Catapult - Slingshot. I was banned from having one as a child - I think it had to do with the amount of glass that got broken as a result. Chat show - Talk show to you. Unlike Letterman and Leno, chat show hosts in the UK sometimes let the guests say something too! Chemist - Don't go looking for a drugstore in England, you won't find one. But you will find a chemist. Most of them are set up just like Eckerds. I once heard a quiz programme on the radio in Austin where they asked what us Brits call a "drugstore". The answer "apothecary" was accepted and the guy got a point. Get out of here! That was centuries ago. Cheque - How we used to pay our bills in the old days, before electronic banking started. Check in the US. Banks provide them for free in the UK. I was amazed you pay for them in the US, but you do get to choose groovy designs. Christmas Crackers - These have never really taken off in the US, though I have seen them for sale in speciality shops from time to time. They are brightly decorated paper tubes with a handle at each end. You reach across the table and ask someone to pull the other end. When it breaks, a snapper gives out a loud bang, a party hat drops out along with a small gift and a terrible joke. We make our own - you get better gifts that way. Chrysanths - We both shorten the word for chrysanthemums. Us to chrysanths and you to mums. Cinema - Movie theater to you chaps. Coconut shy - This is a side show you'll find at fairs and fetes. You buy some wooden balls and throw them at coconuts on sticks. If you knock one down, you keep it. College - We use this word to mean university as well as other higher education establishments. Comprehensive school - If a kid didn't pass the eleven plus exam, they went to a secondary modern school, rather than a grammar school at the grand old age of eleven. I was in the last year of kids who sat the eleven plus. The system changed so that both types of school were replaced with an all encompassing comprehensive school. Same as your high school. Conkers - This is the name of the horse chestnut and the children's game that uses them. To play conkers you thread your conker onto a shoelace with a knot in the end and take it in turns to hit your friend's conker then let him hit yours. The winner is the one whose conker does not break up. After beating one friend your conker is called a one-er. After beating two friends it is called a two-er, unless his had previously beaten another one in which case yours would be a three-er and so on. Treating your conker with drugs, heat or other secret strengthening tricks is strictly forbidden, punishable by death under UK law. Cot - Crib. The thing baby sleeps in. Or not in our case! Counterfoil - If you still use a cheque book in the UK, the bit that stays in the book is called the counterfoil. You might call it a stub. Course - Apart from describing our sense of humour, a course is what you would call a class. I did a course in business at university. Cutlery - Knives and Forks. Called flatware or silverware in the US (even if it's plastic!). Apparently there is more cutlery to go round in the UK as you always get clean cutlery after every course in a restaurant. CV - This is what we call a resumé. It is actually short for the latin, Curriculum Vitae, meaning "the course of life". Daddy long legs - This has nothing to do with your father. It is what we call a crane fly, though never to their face, of course! Day boys/girls - These are the kids who attend boarding schools, but rather than live there too, they attend each day just like other schools. Desmond - A desmond is a lower second class honours degree. Our honours degrees are ranked (from best to worst) as a first class (a first, for short), an upper second (two-one for short), lower second (two-two or desmond for short) and a third. You can also get a non-honours and a pass, but you might not own up to them!! Desmond comes from Desmond Tutu (two-two, get it?). Direct debit - How utility companies etc take payments direct from our bank accounts with the ability to change the amount. They simply divide your annual spend by twelve and take that amount each month. One reason why we don't need cheques in the UK. Similar to your electronic funds transfer. Directory enquiries - When you call 192 from a British phone a nice person will welcome you to directory enquiries. They look up phone numbers for you. It would be directory assistance or information in America. Dirty weekend - These are highly recommended. A dirty weekend is one where you and your partner (or someone else's partner) disappear for a couple of days for rampant sex. Dodgem cars - Generally shortened to "dodgems", these little electric cars at the fair are called bumper cars in America. Doodle bug - Both my parents and my grandparents hid from the doodle bugs in the war. They were the flying bombs that Hitler sent over to England during the war. Apparently you called them buzz bombs! Dosh - This is a fairly common word for money. Draughts - Checkers to you. Drawing pin - Thumbtack to you chaps. Drink up - In a pub, 10 minutes before closing time you will hear the barman shout "last orders please". This tells you to get the last round in before it is too late. When the clock strikes 11pm, they will then shout "time" to tell you it is too late to order any more. You now have 20 minutes to drink up after which time it is illegal to drink. This is called "drinking up time". Dummy - Pacifier for a baby. Also the mannequin in a clothing shop window or someone who has no brain. Egg timer - You would call this an hour glass. Presumably your eggs are bigger than ours if they take an hour to cook! Elastoplast - If you cut yourself you would put a plaster or elastoplast on it. Or to give it it's full name, a sticking plaster. In America you have band aids. Elastoplast is just a brand name that sometimes gets used instead of "plaster". Eleven plus - This is the name of the exam that eleven year olds used to sit to determine if they went to grammar school or a secondary modern school. Often the first exam a kid ever sat. Elevenses - Elevenses is an old fashioned habit with us Brits. It consists of stopping work for a cuppa and a bickie at around eleven in the morning, before carrying on till lunch time. Most people don't have time for elevenses any more though. Eurovision song contest - Every year a terrible thing happens on TV right across Europe. One lucky unknown singer from each country vies for the title. The object is to unite Europe - which it does. Everyone in every country seems to hate it equally. 1998 was won by a transvestite! Super! Fag - Probably the most famous troublesome word for Brits in the USA. I even fell for it myself when I visited my first US supermarket aged 16 and asked how much the fags were. The lady gave me a horrible stare and pretended not to hear me. Little did she know I thought I had found a business opportunity to make money on cigarettes. Fags are expensive here! Fair - Carnival to you. Swings and roundabouts, big wheels and other rides amongst the hot dog and candyfloss stands. We also have country fairs which are similar to yours with crafts and arts and sometimes animal displays and the like. Fancy dress - Fancy dress means dressing up in a costume. Probably to go to a fancy dress party. In America that would be a costume party. In our office we can come to work in casual dress on Fridays. You often hear people saying to each other "Oh I didn't realise it was fancy dress today". That is British humour for you, taking the mickey out of people with loud shirts and wacky clothes. Fete - Field day. Most schools and villages have a fete in the summer with side-shows, games, races, food and drink and a coconut shy. Film - We don't go to the movie theatre to see a movie. We go to the pictures (or cinema) to see a film. Finals - Your finals are the final exams you do at university. Possibly the worst few weeks of your life. We don't have grade points - the result of your degree is generally dependant on the results of your finals. Some courses use continual assessment or coursework to avoid this process but finals do avoid the problem of having people study for hundreds of years collecting points and getting a degree when, frankly, they don't deserve one. First floor - The lift always starts on the ground floor and goes up to the first floor then the second floor. If you want an upstairs room in an English motel, it may well be on the first floor. I had a huge argument the first time I went to Florida and wanted a ground floor room. When I was told my room was on the first floor I almost hit the guy. I think the feeling was mutual! Fiver - A fiver is a five pound note. Our notes are all a different colour and different size. This, along with subtle but bold shapes on each note, helps partially sighted people and blind people to handle money as well as the rest of us. It's fun to watch Brits trying to figure out different dollar bills to avoid giving $100 tips! Flannel - If you ask for a flannel in a British house you will be given a washcloth for your face. Football - Soccer to you. The national sport. Both on and off the field sadly! At school, usually called footy or footer. Form - This is the way we describe which grade we are in at school. In a normal school you would start at age eleven in the first form (or the first year). You would finish in the fifth form (or fifth year) and optionally stay on for two more years to do your A levels. These two years are called the lower sixth and the upper sixth. Sixth formers are the ones that study a bit harder because they generally chose to be there! Fresher's ball - During your first year at university you would be referred to as a "fresher". Every year there is a ball for the freshers to get to know each other. And, of course, the experienced students take the opportunity to check out the new talent! Fringe - The front of your hair - your bangs! Makes Brits smile for some reason, when you say "bangs"! Fringe - The fringe in theatre land is the equivalent of off broadway in the USA. The most famous fringe is at the Edinburgh Festival, where some of the finest new acts are to be seen. Fruit machine - Slot machine to you. The fruit machines in Las Vegas are like the ones we had in the UK about 15 years ago. You pull the handle and watch the reels spin. If you win you win. If you don't you don't. Boring! Since gambling is permitted everywhere in the UK (within certain guidelines), it has developed a lot further than this. In order to keep the gambling public happy, machines now have features galore. It is not enough to match fruit symbols now, there are up nudges, down nudges, combination nudges, additional features to the reels, entire electronic games kicked off by features, held features, win gambles, win swops for features, feature exchanges and so on. Most 10 year olds can work these things and make pocket money by helping grown-ups work out what happened when everything starts flashing and helping them to win. Truly amazing. Makes the Vegas machines seem a bit boring though! Full stop - Period to you. In English period really only means the thing a woman has every month, which is why Brits snigger when you say it. Gangway - This is the gap between rows of seats, where one can walk - like in a restaurant. Or it's the thing you walk up onto a ship. Finally if you want a crowd to move out of the way because you are coming through, you would shout "gangway" at the top of your voice - try it outside Buckingham Palace next time you are there. GCSE - General Certificate of Secondary Education. These are the exams that students in their 5th year of secondary school take when they are 16. After these, students may leave school or go onto the 6th form where they spend two more years studying for their A-levels, which are university entrance exams. Grammar school - When these existed they were the schools that brighter kids went to at age 11. To get to grammar school meant passing the eleven plus exam. Guide dog - Seeing eye dog to you chaps. I still don't know why American drive up ATM machines have braille keys. Do seeing eye dogs drive in the USA? In the UK they only walk! Gum - Gum means glue in the UK. When you want to buy some chewing gum, be careful or you may find yourself sticking your teeth together. Handbag - A woman carries a handbag. A man will never understand the contents of one. You call them purses, which is confusing for us because a purse is something that goes in the handbag and contains money. Hen night - The equal and opposite of the stag night. Naturally girls are worse but still manage to blame it all on the chaps. Bachelorette party! High Street - When I was a kid you always went shopping to the High Street. In fact every town in the country was built around the High Street as the centre of activity and shopping. Today though, the High Streets are quiet and the traders who occupy them are finding it more difficult to stay in business as the supermarkets and other shops are moving out of town. High Street Shops - This is a term you will hear in the UK which refers to the national chains of shops that you would expect to find in every town's High Street. Sadly these days with the move to out of town shopping centres (Malls) these shops are moving out of the High Streets and leaving them somewhat desolate. Hole in the wall - Another expression for cashpoint machine or ATM to you chaps. Holiday - Vacation to you. We usually go on a two-week holiday every summer since the basic holiday entitlement in the UK is 4 or 5 weeks when you start work. We also get several bank holidays. Hoover - Really a brand of vacuum cleaner but the word "hoover" is used to describe all vacuum cleaners. Like you call all copy machines "Xerox machines". We don't Xerox something, we photocopy it. We use the hoover to do the hoovering. Hurling - Apparently this one doesn't translate too well into American. Hurling is nothing to do with being sick, it is a sport, played a lot in Ireland which is like a cross between hockey and rugby. The players try to get a hard ball into, or over, a goal with the aid of a stick. Hypermarket - Just when we thought supermarkets couldn't get any bigger they invented the hypermarket. It is basically a huge supermarket. There are a lot of them on the north coast of France that the Brits visit to buy huge volumes of cheap booze. Insects - We don't use the word bugs like you do. We either refer to insects by name (Charles, Henry, Elizabeth - no I mean ants, spiders, moths etc) or just call them insects. Jasper - Jasper is another word for wasp. You might also call them yellow jackets. They invade picnics in the summertime and usually end their lives in a pot of jam! Johnny - Short for "rubber johnny", this is a term for a condom. We don't call them rubbers. Those are found on the end of pencils to rub out mistakes! Kiss gate - If you wander across many of Britain's public footpaths, out in the country, you are likely to come across a kiss gate. These gates are designed to let people through but to keep animals in the fields. Only one person can get through at a time and the man is supposed to go first. In order for the lady to follow, the man has to let the gate go back, but not until he gets a kiss! Cute huh? Excellent excuse on a first date! Chuck was determined to make friends during his trip to England Ladybird - Ladybug. Not even closely related to a bird! Does fly though. Lead - The thing that a British dog uses to drag you along the street behind it. American dogs use a leash! Leaving do - Another type of do. When someone leaves a company, their colleagues may arrange a leaving do for them. You might call it a going away party or leaving party. Letter box - This is the mail box - big and red and found loitering on street corners. Licence fee - In order to watch any TV in the UK you must pay a licence fee to the BBC. It's cheaper than your basic US cable package and gets you our five main channels. It means there are no ads on the BBC channels which is excellent. We also have cable and satellite TV channels at an extra cost and so our TV is getting more like yours, sadly. Lift - The American elevator. In England we don't talk in the lift, unless we are with close friends or colleagues. Even then, as soon as someone else steps in, all conversation stops! In America, these rules do not apply. Americans in England should attempt to abide by the English lift laws, or may accidentally upset the natives, who will be giving each other strange looks! A lift is also something you get by standing at the side of main roads with your thumb out. Americans hitch-hiking in the UK should avoid asking for a "ride"! This could result in some unplanned sexual activity with someone you have never met before! Local - Your local is the pub you visit the most. It actually doesn't have to be the one that is nearest to you. So if you hear someone saying that they are "off down the local" you know where they are going. Lounge bar - When I was a kid, most pubs had a saloon bar and a lounge bar. The price of a pint was a penny or two more in the lounge and, unlike the saloon, it had proper carpets and comfortable seating. Marks and Sparks - This is how many people would refer to the country's leading retailer Marks and Spencer. Most people still seem to buy their underwear from M&S. Americans always snigger at the sign for men's briefs! Marquee - This is the large tent that many people would rent to hold the party after a wedding. Maths - This is what you call math. It is short for "mathematics", the study of numbers. What I want to know is what you have done with the "s". Mobile - These days everyone has a mobile. You chaps called them cellular phones. They were originally for talking but nowadays they send e-mails and surf the internet too. Whatever next? Naughts and crosses - What everyone does in boring classes/meetings etc - tic tac toe in America. Note - A note is what we call our paper money. We don't call them bills. For example a five pound note is called a fiver and a ten pound note is called a tenner. Strangely a twenty is called a twenty. O-Level - At 16, school kids used to take around ten O-levels (O for Ordinary). These were the qualifications that got you into the sixth form, where you studied for your A-levels (A for Advanced). O-levels have been replaced by GCSEs which cover a broader range of educational ability (General Certificate of Secondary Education). Over the moon - If you are over the moon about something it means you are delighted. Oxbridge - A short way of referring to Oxford and Cambridge universities. When you are at school and planning your university applications you would say you were applying to Oxbridge if you were applying to both. Either way, you are a smart arse! Pantomime - A Christmas tradition with no American equivalent. A pantomime is a show which takes normally mature, serious actors and actresses and sees them dressing up as members of the opposite sex to amuse children with popular stories. Usually has an evil man, a man dressed in drag as a widow and a dashing young male hero (really a woman in green tights). You spend most of your time shouting "It's behind you" and adults pretend they only go for the kids. A really disorganised event may also be described as something of a pantomime! Parcel - This is what you call a package. For some strange reason it is always so much more exciting to receive a parcel than a letter. Pay packet - This is what you get at the end of the week or month with a wodge of money in it. You call it a pay check. These days, of course, many people are paid electronically. Pay rise - Not something you see very often - you would call this a raise. Pence - The one hundred pennies that make up a British pound are called pence. The same as you have cents. However, you will often hear people calling them "p". So if you are asked for 50p you are expected to hand over fifty pence. Penny farthing - I used to see an old chap cycling up and down our village street every day on a penny farthing. They are an amazing sight. You might call them high-wheelers, they are old bicycles with one huge wheel at the front and a tiny one at the back. When our currency had pennies and farthings the name would have made a lot of sense! Photocopier - Copier or xerox machine to you. If you ask someone where you can Xerox something in England, expect a blank stare - you need to ask where you can make a photocopy. Pictures - As kids we spent a lot of time at the pictures. It is another word for the cinema or the movie theater. Pillar box - My Mum always used to send me to the pillar box to post the letter. It is another word for postbox or as you would say, mailbox. Plaster - If you cut yourself you would put a plaster on it. Or to give it it's full name, a "sticking plaster". In America you have band aids. Polystyrene - Styrofoam in the US. Same uses in both countries though we do have something against drinking tea or coffee out of polystyrene cups. It's just not cricket! Polytechnic - This a kind of technical college. If you didn't get the grades to get into university, the second choice was to go to poly or polytechnic. Their degrees were the same as universities, but it was easier to get into them. Most polys are now converted to universities. Pompey - I went to poly in Pompey. It is the colloquial slang for Portsmouth. Pontoon - Also known as 21 or blackjack where you have to get 21 to beat the bank. Post - The mail. The post arrives in the morning in the UK. It drops through your letter box onto your hall carpet. You can read it in bed before you go to work, with a nice cuppa. Very civilised. Post mortem - Autopsy in American. Not a fun job in either language. Postbox - Where you post things. They are on street corners as well as at the post office. You'd call them a mailbox. Postcode - Zipcode to you chaps. Postcodes are in the form RG26 5AN where the first two letters tell you the main postal town (RG=Reading) and the rest narrows down your house to the nearest 6 houses. That means that with just your house number and postcode anything can be delivered anywhere in the UK. Many mail order companies just ask you your house number and postcode - the rest is printed by computer. Clever huh! The new 9 digit US zip codes will achieve the same thing. Postman - This is the chap who delivers your post on his bike or his little red van. He will sign for stuff that you are supposed to sign for if he misses you and hide it in the garden and leave a note for you! Ours dresses up like Father Christmas at Christmas time. Pram - Like a big stroller, sometimes the top lifts off the wheels and can be used as a cot. That would then be called a "carry cot". Short for perambulator. Premium bonds - These are a government savings scheme that pay no interest. No - we're not all completely mad - instead of interest they pay out millions in prize money each month and keep their value exactly the same. In these days where bank interest rates are so low - they suddenly become a much more interesting way of saving! It's like a lottery where each ticket lasts a lifetime or until you cash them in. Cool huh! Prep school - Short for preparatory school, this is the school that kids go to before they go to public school. Normally from ages eight to thirteen. Primary school - From the age of 5 until 11, our kids go to primary school. Property - We generally use the word "property" where you would say real estate. To us - that sounds like the opposite of "pretend estate" - like Disneyworld perhaps! Pub - The cornerstone of British social life. Every village has a pub, or several. These tend to be friendly sociable places to go for a pie and pint, meet the locals, get a cheap meal and drink some of that nice British beer, we know you like so much. They usually have a beer garden and maybe a skittle alley, pool table and always a fruit machine or two. Town and city pubs come in several varieties. There are the drinking men's pubs, where the guys who leave the missus at home go, to chat to their mates and have a fag. There are the trendy, loud, expensive yuppie pubs. There are the family pubs which have separate rooms where kids can go, and they have lots of food and a playground (yuck!), and then there are the nice ones. Pub crawl - Not quite as literal as it sounds, a pub crawl consists of drinking a pint at as many different pubs as possible, one after the other. Towards the end of the evening the "crawl" bit starts to take effect. Often followed by a curry! And more pints of course! Similar to your bar hopping. Public convenience - You may still see "public convenience" signs around England. They are pointing you to the nearest public toilet or restroom. Public school - Rather oddly, this is the name we give our private schools. For those that can afford to opt out of the state education system, this would be the alternative. Purse - A woman carries a purse to contain her money - notes and coins. I think you call this a wallet or a pocket book. Pushchair - Stroller in American. Pylon - This is what we would call a high tension tower which carries 11,000 volts of electricity. Queue - Brits have never stood in line. But they have queued - at the post office, the deli, in traffic. We like to queue almost as much as you like to stand in line. RAF - The Royal Air Force - our answer to Top Gun! Railway - We refer to the railroad as a railway. Rates - Rates are local taxes. Currently based on the value of your property, they are generally lower than your property tax and are payable monthly. For some strange reason this is the only bill payment that is only paid in 10 months of the year - maybe the council find dividing by twelve too difficult! Rates are now called "council tax" here in the UK. Reception - This is the area in a hotel or business that you would call the front desk or the lobby. Return - When you want to buy a round trip ticket, when visiting England, ask for a return. Revise - Before an exam, we would revise the subject. I remember spending many unhappy hours revising for my A Levels. You might review your subjects in a similar situation or simply study. Rise - You call this a raise. Not a common occurrence in either place, sadly! Also called a payrise. Rounders - This is a game that kids play, which has almost exactly the same rules as baseball. Rubber - In England you would never hesitate to borrow an old rubber from a good friend, or even a stranger, for that matter. They would probably have one on the end of their pencil. Most kids chew their rubbers then break them into pieces and throw them at each other. You call them erasers! This caused me immense embarrassment the first time I tried to borrow one in the US. Rubber Johnny - This is a term for a condom. Usually shortened to just "Johnny". Rubbish - Trash to you. Someone could be talking rubbish, or you might put the rubbish in the bin! Saloon - When I was a kid, most pubs had a saloon bar and a lounge bar. The price of a pint was cheaper in the saloon and the decor was more your spit and sawdust style. The labourers drank in the saloon. These days both bars have been knocked into one and everyone shares everything. School - This is either primary school (ages 5 to 11) or secondary school (ages 11 to 18). Secondary school - Short for "secondary modern school", this is what you call high school. In the UK, if you failed your eleven plus exam, this is the kind of school you would go to instead of a grammar school. After this system changed to the current one, both these kinds of schools were replaced by comprehensive schools. Sellotape - This is a brand of scotch tape, but we use it to describe all sticky tapes. Semi - Short for a semi-detached house or a duplex in the US. If someone is being a bit dim you might also say they are semi-detached. Serviette - Or "servie-what"? as I once heard in a Texas restaurant! I should have asked for a napkin! Set down - You may see signs around London saying "set down only". This means you may only stop the car momentarily to drop off your passengers. No parking is allowed. Shares - Stocks in a company are called shares. Shop - Store. We go shopping, presumably you go storing? We will go to the shops the same way you will go to the mall. We don't have many malls, though they are beginning to appear. Some of them are created by putting a roof over an entire town centre - like the one in Camberley. Shopping trolley - Shopping cart. These are used for collecting your shopping as you go around the supermarket. They also have another use, which to this day, is still unexplained. They have a habit of turning up in rivers. In fact, anywhere there is a large or medium amount of water, there will be a shopping trolley. Nobody knows why. They are usually many miles from the nearest supermarket. I'm not sure if the same phenomenon has reached America yet. What is the difference between a shopping trolley and a policeman? (or whoever else you like). Answer: the shopping trolley has a mind of it's own! Shove-halfpenny - Pronounced "shove hape-knee", this is a an old pub game where you push polished coins, old halfpennies, along a polished board to score points. Still around in a few pubs but mostly replaced by newer games that take your money quicker. Skip - What do you call a Skoda with a sunroof? Answer - a skip! In the UK, Skoda used to be the car to laugh about, cheap, ugly and nobody would be seen dead in one. A skip is a dumpster so now maybe the joke makes sense. Skipping rope - Jump rope - no sane person would use one!. Sledge - This what you would call a sled. We go sledging when you go sledding. Snooker - Also played on a large table, with pockets. There are 15 reds and 6 other coloured balls, each with a different value. Players take it in turns to use the white to pocket a red, then a colour then a red and so on. Once the reds are all gone, the colours have to be pocketed one by one in the order yellow (2), green (3), brown (4), blue (5), pink (6) and black (7). Highest break is 147. Pool is also played but mainly in pubs. Spondulicks - Another word for your money. This one dates back to the last century but the origin remains unknown. Some people say "spondulies". Stag night - Before you get married, you and your buddies go out on a stag night, or a stag weekend. The object being to get as drunk as possible before the happy day, hoping to meet a bunch of girlies on a hen night! You call it a bachelor party. Stand for election - This is what we do when you run for office. Standing order - How utility companies etc take payments direct from our accounts without being able to change the amount. Cheques are not used much in England any more, just for giving your friends money. You may call it an electronic funds transfer or EFT. Stone - When I told the man in the driving licence office I was 13 stone 10, he said that it must be close to a boulder! Very funny! A stone is 14 pounds which makes me about 192 pounds. Big enough to hit him! Strimmer - Weed eater or trimmer in the US. A weed eater in the UK would be something like a cow or a goat! My American friend's house rental contract obliged him to "Weed eat the yard on a regular basis". In English this would cause stomach ache and possibly other illnesses! Surgery - Apart from what happens in an operating theatre, we also call the local doctor's office, the surgery. Also, when members of parliament hold meetings for members of the public to raise questions with them, they often call them surgeries. Swimming baths - We say we are off to the swimming baths when we are going to the swimming pool. We use both expressions to mean the same thing. Telephone box - That lovely old red thing you see on every British street corner. Or DID until they were mostly replaced by modern phone booths. BT sold them off at a hundred quid each - now they are collectors items. Most drunks miss them as somewhere to pee after the curry! Called phone booths in America. Telephone directory - We don't use the expression white pages like you do. We just refer to the telephone directory. However, we do talk about yellow pages in the same way as you. Tenner - A tenner is a ten pound note. Our notes are all a different colour and different size. This, along with subtle but bold shapes on each note, helps partially sighted people and blind people to handle money as well as the rest of us. So if you are asked for a tenner in England - get out your dosh, not a fat man with a good singing voice! Tick - When we fill in forms we are asked to tick the boxes. You check the boxes. When putting a tick in the box - be careful not to confuse this with the little biting insect, which is also called a tick! Timber - Don't ask for lumber in England. Lumber is either a lolloping walk or the lower part of your back. Timber is any kind of treated wood. It is also something a lumberjack shouts when the tree starts to topple. Time - The word "time" is the same in both countries. However the way we tell it is different. When I was first asked the time in a shopping mall in Austin I said it was "half ten". The very confused guy just looked at me and said "What, five o'clock?". We say "half ten" for ten thirty. We say "quarter past ten" when you would say quarter after ten or, more likely ten fifteen. We say "quarter to ten" when you would say quarter of ten. Tippex - This is another brand name for a correction fluid. However, we generally say "tippex" in the same way that you say white out, which is your equivalent. Ours is a little thicker in texture. Tire - Something you do when you are worn out or knackered. Best thing to do is to go to bed. Torch - We uses torches when we go camping to see in the dark, in our tents. My American friends didn't believe we would do anything so dangerous. But that's because we were talking about flashlights, not a flaming stick! Trolley - When you arrive at the airport the first thing you'll need is a trolley. Don't be tempted to ask for a cart. Tube - The London underground system is called the tube. You have a subway in New York. In England it is also called the underground. TV licence - These are the licences we buy in order to watch TV legally in the UK. There are detector vans that roam the country looking for TVs that are switched on at addresses that have not purchased a TV licence. If you are caught - you are made to watch TV commercials - because the licence fee means we don't have commercials on the BBC. Yippee! TV programme - This is what we call a TV show, though you will hear both phrases used here these days. Tyre - The rubber based thing that goes on a wheel. It is illegal to guarantee 50,000 mile usage in the UK as these tyres contain less rubber and more nylon. Nylon doesn't stick to wet roads, hence the usual pile-ups on I35 when it rains. Tire to you. Underground - The underground is another word for the subway or as we like to call it, the tube. University - Age 18 to 21 or so. You say school. Basically still free, entry being based on merit and exam results, rather than money. However, the government is gradually sneaking in more costs for students and it is unlikely to remain free for much longer, I fear. VAT - Value added tax or sales tax in the US. The main difference is ours is included in the price you see, so nothing gets added at the till. Wad - If you had a big fat wad, you would have loads of money. Wallet - When I was 16 I had my wallet stolen in Boston airport. I was worried when the announcement on the plane was about a missing pocket book. But no. That's what you call a wallet. I also heard it called a bill fold. Wash up - We do this after dinner and you do it before. We are talking about doing the dishes whereas you are talking about your hands! Way out - I had to laugh recently when I was at the pictures with an American friend. She asked me what was outside that was so "way out"! There was a door with "way out" illuminated above it. It actually means exit, not that there is something groovy and way out through there. WC - I'm often asked by my American chums about the good old WC. It is never said but often seen on signs, not just in England but all across Europe. It is short for "water closet" and simply means the loo, toilet or restroom. Wedge - Your wedge, like your wad is another expression for your money. White horse - Around Wiltshire there are a number of white horses. They are cut into the hillside and are visible from miles around. In fact, if you are visiting Stonehenge there is a leaflet there that describes a three hour driving tour of about 6 or 7 local white horses. Worth a visit on a sunny day. The reason they are white is that below the top soil the area is made of white chalk. Wonga - Your wonga is your wad, or in other words your money. Year - At school we refer to the grades as forms or years. We call the first year, "the first year". Cryptic huh? We also call it the "first form". We also use years to describe our progress through university.     AA - The Automobile Association. Similar to your AAA these guys come to your car when you breakdown. Unlike the AAA, they carry a workshop with them and fix the car at the side of the street if they can, or carry your car anywhere in the country if they can't. Saved my life a few times. Not to be confused with Alcoholics Anonymous who will come to your car and counsel you on your drinking problem. Make sure you ring the right AA! Aerial - Antenna. An aerial is on a car, an antenna would be found on insects and aliens from outer space. Amber - Not only do our traffic lights go in a different sequence to yours but we don't have yellow! Well actually we do but we always call it amber. The sequence is red, red and amber (together), green. Then green, amber, red. Yours go from red straight to green. Articulated lorry - This is a trailer truck. Nothing to do with being well-spoken of course! Usually shortened to artic. Banger - An old car. Your first car is usually an old banger. Not to be confused with a kind of sausage! Belisha beacon - These are the orange flashing globes at each side of a zebra crossing. Bonnet - Your car's hood. Also an old fashioned hat. Boot - Your car's trunk. In England, elephants have trunks, not cars! Bulb - When your indicator stops working you probably need a new bulb. Don't ask for a lamp. Bump start - When you buy your first car as a student in the UK, one of the first lessons you learn is how to bump start it. When the battery is flat you get a couple of strong mates to push you along the street, with the key in the ON position, second gear engaged and your foot on the clutch. When you reach enough speed you take your foot off the clutch, your mates hit their faces on the back of the car and with luck - the car starts! Don't try this in America, it doesn't work with automatics! If you do have a manual car it would be popping the clutch. Bus station - The place where the busses start from on their journey. You might call it a terminal. Cab - In London you will hear taxis referred to as cabs. The London black cab is not only famous for being very distinctive but also the first cab to take wheelchairs through the doors. Cabriolet - Convertible. As in - why do blondes prefer cabriolets?. Obvious really - more legroom! Call - I remember the announcer at Bristol railway station telling us that the train at platform 10 would call at Nailsea, Backwell, Weston-super-Mare, Highbridge, Bridgwater and Taunton. It would call at the stations, not stop at them. Car park - Parking lot. Normally uncovered. Cat's eyes - In the middle of British roads there are little white reflectors. They are made of glass and are designed just like the eyes of a cat. They are mounted in a rubber housing and inserted into a hole in the road surface. When a car drives over them, they are pushed into the hole and when they pop back up - they are cleaned! Clever huh? Road reflectors are the nearest thing you have in the US. The guy who invented them actually came across a cat facing him on a dark night. Lucky it wasn't facing the other way - or he might have invented the pencil sharpener!! Cattle class - A rather unflattering, but not inaccurate, description of coach class air travel! Central reservation - Not where you call for airline tickets or where Indians live. This is the bit of grass or kerbing between the carriageways on a dual carriageway or motorway. Median in American. Chunnel - The famous channel tunnel is called the chunnel. If you visit London it is well worth taking the 3 hour train ride from Waterloo, right into the heart of Paris. Coach - We differentiate between a coach and a bus. A bus is usually the sort that you pay as you enter and the routes are not generally that long. They drive through the towns and villages of the UK. A coach normally goes from city to city, more like US greyhounds. They have fewer or no stops at all and you would buy a ticket in advance and have to go to the terminal to get on one. Crash - Same as a pile-up but involving fewer vehicles. Also called a wreck in the US. Cul-de-sac - Dead end to you. The American expression "dead end" is a bit more to the point really. Cul-de-sac comes from the French. De-mister - De-froster in American. Most cars have them on the back window. Some have them on the front too. Very useful during your first date when you borrow your Dad's car! Most Texans would never have a use for either! Diversion - Detour in America. Double decker - This is a bus. One that has an upstairs and a downstairs. They were abundant when I was using them as a kid but nowadays most of them seem to have ended up as tourist buses around New York and other large US cities. Sometimes with the roof removed. They also have "Genuine London Bus" in huge letters down the side for some reason. Double yellow lines - The double yellow lines are the no parking zone. Well I suppose you could park there but the chances are the car won't be there when you return. The traffic wardens are pretty hot on cars parked on double yellows. By the way - you can generally park on single yellow lines after 6pm and at weekends unless it says otherwise on a nearby lamp-post. Drink driving - This particular pastime is illegal in both countries. You call it drunk driving. Drunk in charge - In the same way that you have DWI and DUI offences for "driving while intoxicated" and for "driving under the influence", we just have "drunk in charge" (never shortened to DIC for obvious reasons!). All three are best avoided in both countries occifer! Dual carriageway - Divided highway. All have a 70mph speed limit unless indicated (posted) otherwise. Due care and attention - This is the name of a motoring offence that covers many driving sins. I got my first ticket on the M4 at about midnight for driving without due care and attention. I was actually driving in the middle lane of the motorway, when I should have been in the inside lane. Economy - When we travel in an aeroplane in the cheap seats we are travelling economy. You would be travelling coach. To us - that's a sort of bus, more suited to the roads than 37,000 feet! Estate car - An elongated version of a normal saloon car. Many cars have an estate version. In American the nearest thing is a station wagon. Excess - Deductible. The amount you pay before your car insurance does. Insurance is one of the few things that is much cheaper in the UK than the USA. My car insurance cost me between 2-4 times as much in Texas as it did in England. Fire engine - What you would call a fire truck. Flyover - No - not what happens in Starsky and Hutch, when they drive too fast in San Francisco over bumps - this is an overpass. Fog lights - This one took me two years to realise. In America fog lights are white and are at the front of the car, low down. In England they are very intense red and are on the back of the car, so that in real fog, the car behind you can see you. This is important if you are importing a US car to the UK as you have to get this fixed. Ford - If you see a sign saying "ford ahead" in England, it is not warning you that an American car is blocking a country lane. It is actually telling you there is a low water crossing ahead. Gallon - This would be 1.25 gallons to you. Ours are 25% bigger than yours. Gas - A substance used to cook with and to heat homes. Cars do not run on gas, they use petrol. Gearstick - The stick shift. Most cars in England come with a gearstick. If you learn to drive in one without a gearstick you may not drive one that does until you take the test in that sort too! I thought Texans must have thought I looked like a witch when they asked me if I drove a stick!! What a strange question. Give way - Yield. At a roundabout you give way to the right. In Texas, apparently, yielding is optional, more dependent on the size of the vehicles involved. Glove box - This is the little cubby hole in the front of the car where you keep sweet wrappers, parking tickets and old chewing gum. A glove compartment to you. Hand brake - Your parking brake. Some American cars have foot operated ones but in the UK they are generally hand operated only. Since most UK cars are manual they are probably more often used in the UK. Head lamp - Headlight, though we use either word. Hire car - Rental car. When hiring a car in England, remember to specify an automatic or you will get one with a gearstick. Hooter - The hooter is the horn on your car. It is also another word for a persons' nose. Therefore, if someone steps out in front of you in the UK, be sure to press the right one! Indicator - Turn lights. The little orange lights on each corner of your car that tell other road users your intended direction of travel, if not straight on. In England it is illegal for the brake lights to double up as indicators, like they do in the USA. In America use of these lights appears to be optional (unless travelling in a straight line). Jam sandwich - This is a motorway police car. It is called a jam sandwich because if it is white with a bright orange stripe along the side, that's just what it looks like. Obviously it is a bit bigger and has wheels and a couple of uniformed gentlemen inside it, but hey! Juggernaut - What you would call an 18 wheeler - any large lorry would be a juggernaut. Lay-by - On the side of the road you will often find a lay-by, probably just a widening of the road without any kerbing, to allow you to stop and take a break. It doesn't quite qualify as a rest area as there are generally no facilities. Level crossing - This is what you call a grade crossing - where a railway crosses a road. Lights - The little triangular windows on some cars. Lorry - Truck. Although the chaps that drive them ARE sometimes called truckers. They are usually called lorry drivers and are not allowed to use the fast lane on England's motorways. To add to the confusion I just met a lady in Minnesota called Laurie, which I thought was hilarious, so I call her "truck"! Lorry driver - Truck driver or trucker to you. Manual - A car in England is either a manual or an automatic (transmission). A manual has a gearstick. You would call them a stick or stick shift. When we say we drive a manual, you say you drive a stick. In England the only people who drive sticks are witches!! Motorway - Freeway. Very strict rules apply to motorways, only drive faster than 100mph if you are happy to lose your licence (or are very good at haggling!). Always drive in the slow lane, unless overtaking (or risk being arrested). Always enter and exit via slip roads on the left hand side. Multi storey - Short for multi-storey car park. Means a parking garage on several levels. Near side lane - The slow lane to you, though to us, all your lanes are slow! (Sorry - couldn't resist it!). No entry - I love the "no entry" signs in the US - they are so descriptive. They just say "Wrong way"! No chance of mistaking the meaning there! Number plate - Licence plate in the US. In the UK they tell you the age of the vehicle and have some coding to identify the area of the country the car was registered in. The format is G992 CAJ where the first letter tells you the car was registered between Aug 1 199x and July 31st of the following year! The following year will start with an H and so on. The UK makes big business from personalised number plates, just like in the US, but we need to keep them in the format. Recently I tried to get M1 KEY so that it would look like MIKEY! It was too expensive - shame! Our number plates generally stay with the car, whereas yours seem to stay with the person. Overtake - Pass in the US. We can only do it on the right. In Texas they do it in whatever lane they like. Don't try that here - you'll be arrested. Our cops don't have guns but they don't half take the piss! Pavement - Pavement in English is sidewalk in American. The first chapter in the Texas driving handbook says that you must drive on the pavement at all times! Yikes! Pelican crossing - The black and white bars across the road with a green and red man lighting up to show pedestrians when to walk and when to stay. Petrol - Gasoline. Ask for a petrol station when you run out. More expensive than the American sort but comes in bigger gallons. Petrol station - Gas station to you. Prepare to be shocked at the prices! Pile-up - What happens when a number of cars collide into each other. Known as a wreck in America. Prang - If you have a prang in your car - it means you have hit a car or another object. Prangs tend be less serious than write-offs as they can be fixed. RAC - Royal Automobile Club. Another roadside assistance company, similar to the American AAA. They drive mobile garages and can fix most things on the roadside. They will even drive you to the other end of the country if necessary, to get you there! Red route - When driving around London watch out for the roads with yellow lines that are RED! These are special red routes designed to keep the traffic moving and free of obstructions. Park on a red route and the British police will shoot to kill! Road works - If you see a sign with "road works" on it, be careful because it means men working. Roof - The top of a convertible car is called the roof in England. Roof-rack - This is the luggage rack to you. Roundabout - Traffic circle. The best bit about arriving in England after a long transatlantic flight with no sleep and finding there are no automatic cars, is that the first obstacle you find at any airport is a big roundabout. They are scary if you have never seen one before. The simple rule is 'give way (yield) to the right'. In other words, the traffic already on the roundabout has right of way. In Malta, however, the traffic approaching the roundabout has right of way, which is why Brits on holiday in Malta keep killing themselves! Saloon - A non-estate car. You might call it a sedan. Saloon is also one of the bars in a traditional pub. Second class - When we travel in the cheap seats of a train or plane, we are travelling second class. You would be travelling coach. Silencer - Muffler. Or the thing you put on a gun to make killing people quieter. Slip road - Entry ramp or exit ramp. Spanner - Something to keep in your boot - a wrench. Subway - This is the tunnel that allows pedestrians to walk under a busy road. You would call it an underpass. Tailback - To see a proper tailback in England - join the M25 at any point on a Friday evening. It means bumper to bumper but on the M25 there is no start or finish - it goes right round London. That's why they call it the "London orbital car park". Tick over - If you leave your car ticking over, it would be idling in the US. Ton - I remember telling my friends at the office that I was stopped doing a "ton twenty" up the M40 at the weekend. We use the word ton to mean one hundred miles an hour. Clearly a "ton twenty" is a hundred and twenty miles and hour. It's a long story but he even let me off! Lucky huh? Traffic wardens - We never came across traffic wardens in Texas. The nearest thing we saw was the traffic cops. Our wardens wander the streets of our towns in their black uniforms, hiding until you leave your car illegally parked for 1 or 2 nano-seconds then they write you a ticket and stick it your screen before you can say "You B****rd". Transporter - I think these are referred to as car carriers in the US. They are the huge lorries that carry up to 10 cars in precarious positions. Turn right - Make a turn. We don't "make" turns in the UK, we just turn. So when you'd make a left at the light, we would turn left at the light. Verge - The grassy edge to a road. You park on the verge if you break down to avoid being hit by the traffic. Windscreen - The English word for windshield. Windscreen wipers - The English for windshield wipers. Wing - Fender to you. To us a fender is a kind of guitar! Write-off - This is when you have wrecked your car. Or totalled it. We don't use either of those expressions. It comes from the fact that the insurance companies have calculated that it would cost more to repair the car than to replace it. So the value is written off the books. If you are in a serious crash and you don't fancy some garage trying to put all the pieces back together as good as it was to start with, then you hope that your car becomes a write-off as that means you get a nice new one! Zebra crossing - Similar to the pelican but with flashing orange beacons on either side. If a pedestrian steps onto a pelican crossing, you should stop. Unless you are in London in which case your job is to kill them.

Ingles Militar: Desde una pistola automatica a sistemas integrados de alerta temprana. CLICK AQUI Ingles de Negocios: Comente en Ingles un Business plan, o envie por e-mail un contrato. CLICK AQUI     Ingles legal: Aprenda terminos legales en ingles y derecho civil, comercial, criminal y constitucional de los Estados Unidos. CLICK AQUI     Nomenclatura IT: Para los que trabajan en Sistemas, es escencial conocer terminos comerciales de IT, internet y Computacion. CLICK AQUI