| From the Outback to the Arctic Circle Around the World 2000 |
| "travel is glamourous only in retrospect" (Paul Theroux) |
| 4 life |
| 4 me |
| 4 travel |
| 4 music |
| 4 books |
| 4 World |
| Last updated: Monday, 19 September, 2003 |
| The World January Bombay February Koh Samui March Singapore Sydney April Childers June Darwin July August Melbourne September October Auckland November Honolulu December Vancouver |
| inside Ian's Website you will find... life is a real-time autobiography that grows as the years go by me is a name i call myself travel is from the outback to the arctic circle journalist is what i try to do but i can't hack it music is the food of love but you probably think i'm on a pretty poor diet books is what you should be reading and main index is where everything begins a bit like genesis |
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| Also don't miss 4 Ian's guide to getting stuck on trains 4 Around the world in A to Z 4 Breasts in Provence |
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| 5 Singapore 5 Melaka 5 Kuala Lumpur 5 Cameron Highands 5 Penang 5 Koh Samui 5 Bangkok |
| It was Christmas. The Weihnachtsmarkt was in full swing in the centre of Stuttgart. We drank Gluehwein a lot that week as we stood and mocked the Germans. The days passed by in a hazy mish-mash of fake snow, Irish pubs, xenophobia and Beck�s breasts. We went to Esslingen. Twinned, as it proudly proclaims, with Neath, where I was working. We walked up into the castle and overlooked the valley. It wasn�t very Neath-esque. But what is? We each ate a massive marshmallow / nutty ball because Sir thought the �girl� selling them in the Esslingen Christmas market had �nice tits� (his vulgar words, not mine). They were delicious and just of the right shape and size to get your tongue around. A hot wine ensured they slipped down with ease. |
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| Back in Stuttgart I nearly got duffed up by a rabid Irishman in the Irish pub who overheard me telling Sir that he sounded like the incomprehensible Geordie in Alan Partridge. �D�yo wanna beatin�?� he asked me, in a better Irish accent than that was. I said I didn�t, no. After a few days I was beginning to dread bedtimes. Sir commented that I had �the bum of a twelve-year-old�. Compare other bum descriptions in 4 Barcelona On the Sunday Sir and I went to the cinema, where we watched the soon to be Oscar-winning film, The Pianist. It is the most serious, miserable, pessimistic film I have ever seen about lots of �Jews� getting executed during the Second World War. The Germans in the audience still found plenty to laugh about however. A disabled �Jew� getting pushed off a balcony in his wheelchair to his death raised a particularly huge guffaw. As did the sight of the main character almost being shot through the head because he was wearing a second-hand Nazi soldier�s uniform. Unbelievable. |
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| It was soon time to go home. But not before one last knees-up in the Irish pub. Sir and I met some really weird people there. I soon discovered they were Sir�s �friends�. They started playing backgammon together. One of them started reciting the lyrics to �Thousands Are Sailing� by the Pogues. It was time to go. (Serious bit.) I stopped off in Heidelberg on the way home for old time�s sake and before long Germany, and all it meant to me was a distant memory, a distant land, once again. |
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| 5 Sir eats a massive marshmallow / nutty ball. |
| 4 Ian is proud to stand beside the Neath - Esslingen twinning sign. |
| 3 Comedy of the year, Der Pianist. Went down a storm in Stuttgart. |
| 5 Ian injures himself negotiating a parked car one night. |
| 4 Sir samples the local fare while mocking Germans. |
| Auckland 6 Bay of Islands 6 Cambridge 6 Nelson 6 Queenstown 6 Invercargil 6 Dunedin 6 Christchurch 6 |
| 4 Wittenoom 4 Perth 4 Bunbury 4 Adelaide 4 Melbourne 4 Sydney 6 |
| 5 Bombay 3 Udaipur 3 Jaisalmer 3 Jodhpur 3 Jaipur 3 New Delhi 3 London |
| 4 Broome 5 Darwin 5 Katherine 5 Mataranka 5 Alice Springs 5 Cairns 5 Townsville 5 Magnetic Island 5 Childers 5 Byron Bay 5 Brisbane 5 Sydney |
| Honolulu 6 Los Angeles 6 San Diego 6 El Paso 6 Zacetecas 6 Guanajuato 6 San Miguel 6 Chihuahua 6 Portland 6 Vancouver 6 3 |
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| January - December 2000 |
| Somewhere between graduating from Aston and starting my career, I travelled right around the world, getting kidnapped by terrorists, breaking a hip falling from a camel and narrowly escaping a fire which killed 15 other backpackers. 20,000 miles by plane, boat, bus, bike, rickshaw, train and camel start here. |