Redneck Jokes
You might be a Redneck if...
Your father executes the "Pull my Finger"
trick during Christmas Dinner.
You believe dual-side air bags refer to your wife and mother in-law.
You got more than one brother named "Darryl"
You think the OJ Trial was a taste test between
Sunkist and Minute Maid.
You were accuitted for killing your first wife
after she threw you Elvis 45's.
You think professional wrestling is foreplay.
The people on Jerry Springer eposides remind you
of your neighbors.
If you ever had to scrath your sisters name out from the
message that begins "for a good time call..." .
You take a load of trash to the dump in your pick-up truck
and return with more than when you left.
You think fast food is Possom at 65 m.p.h.
You have a bumper sticker that says
"My mom is an honor student at Middle Town Jr. High"
You take a six-pack cooler to church.
Your family tree has no branches.
Your family tree is a family bush.
You refuse to watch the Academy Awards when they snubbed
"Smokey and the Bandit" for best pitcher.
You had to remove a tooth pick to take your wedding pitchers.
You see a sign that says "Say no to crack"
and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
You use a weedeater in your living room.
You consider your lincense plate personalized cause your
dad made it while in prison.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
The blue book value on your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas you have in it.
Your students teacher says your son is a mathmatical genius
cause he has 13 fingers.
Fifth grade was the best 6 years of your life.
You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack
