Redneck Jokes
You might be a Redneck if...
If you mow you lawn and find a car.
If your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
If you mom ever torn her dress coon-hunting.
If your mom ever got into a fist fight while at a Highschool
sporting event.
If your dad presudes you to quit school cause your uncle has an
opening at the lube rack.
Your father walks you to school cause you're in the same grade.
If your halloween jack-o-latern has more teeth than your wife.
You've been married more than three times and have the same in-laws.
Your house has a "wide load" sign still on the back.
Your rich uncle died and left everything to his wife but she can't
touch it tell she turns 14.
You think a stock tip is advice on worming your hogs.
You think possom is "The other white meat".
You carried a fishing pole to sea world.
You hooked up with you current girlfriend as a result of reply to
a message on the bathroom stall at Flying J's Truckstop.
The center piece on your kitchen table is a signed piece from
a famous taxidermist.
You think a quarter horse is a kiddy ride out in front of a
Wallmart store.
You lit a match while in the bathroom and your house
exploded off it's wheels.
If using the bathroom during the night included getting
finding a flashlight.
Your hunting dog had a litter of puppies in your living room
and no one notices.
You think safe sex is a padded headboard.
You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think there is nothing wrong with incest,
as long as you keep it in the family.
(I don't get it)
If you and your dog use the same tree.
You think god looks like Hank Willams Jr.
and heaven looks like Daytona, Florida.
You think the last line of the starspangled banner is
"gentlemen, start your engines".
