我已經做好準備...開始浮出水面

Apr 2007
Mar 2007
Feb 2007
 

28th May
Driving auto car was such a breeze! Like what the instructor said, auto is like heaven compared to the hellish manual cars. I was driving along YCK road at about 50 miles/hr when there was this group of students from PHS on the center berth of the road. Then this girl crossed the road with her head turning back and talking to her friend, I stepped on the brake. My instructor also stepped onto the brake and sounded the horn! Kaoz, want to die arh!

Ms. Japan Riyo Mori (2nd from right) won the Ms. Universe title. Me thinks that it's all because Kurara Chibana should have won last year (first from left & the left picture).

Anyway it's all politics... the Ms. Puerto Rico was so ungraceful, dropped the tiara when she was crowning Riyo Mori. And she didn't even smile or hug her at all. She may still be jealous of Kurara I guess. Kurara Rox!

Anyway, it's 5 more days to Mayday concert! Very very excited because I paid $88 for this concert... so I must enjoy myself fully. Met teck kuan at AMK today and once again, I was reading lonely planet. haha... The last time we met, I was reading about Thailand Laos and Myanmar, this time I'm reading about Sydney. I'm so blessed! Then we went to play pool and we are both noobs now. Terrible! Our skills worsen so much since secondary school. Been very long since I played le, more than half a year perhaps?

23rd May
Friendship is such a fuzzy thing. One moment you are the best of friends and the next you are avoiding each other.  I remember one of the reasons that I left VJC was because of friendship. I remember vividly, on a hot sunny afternoon I met my sec-2 best pal at the canteen. He was eating ice cream and we smiled, said hi and something rather superficial. Sudden sense of awkwardness came out of nowhere and nothing really happened between us. We're still in the same JC albeit different class but it seems so weird... so distance. I couldn't stand it... so I left, not wanting to experience it ever again. After I left, we met less often but still chill out together minus the awkwardness and the friendship stays on.

Deja vu! Must I really leave again to prevent this from happening?

Anyway, I was driving on the road today when I saw another learner car crashed to the back of an SBS bus. The bus was at the bus-stop bay and I had no idea how the car crashed. The instructor seat has an emergency brake, so he must be asleep. Scary loh! Fortunately there's only damage to the vehicles, not the passengers.  Phew!

22nd May
Went to Mayflower Sec for performance today. Was stabbed deeply once again when Mike asked me to write emcee script to introduce the CO. I just wrote it couple of weeks ago for the lunchtime concert -.- It's all fine until the Capriccio of Sea. At first I couldn't remember or understand what it was, so I just whacked Sea Capprico. Later I checked my phone dictionary and found the word, should be pronounced Cap-pri-sio I think. Then I told the MF teacher in-charge and she ask me how to pronounce, I wasn't very sure and had to ask Karen. Haix. Who came up with such a stupid name Capriccio of Sea?! So cheem. It means "Kwang Xiang Qu" when translated.

I'm exhausted, couldn't focus on the performance today. Maybe it's because I woke up at 7am and couldn't sleep after that. My sleeping duration and hours are getting more and more irregular. So are my appetite. Feeling lethargic and actually lost concentration on many things. Somehow all these points to depression LOL. But a depressed person won't know he's depressed. So I don't know. Maybe my mind is trying to re-configure itself and ready to adapt to a new environment. Mentally preparing to leave NYP and embark on a new journey. Change of priority and not being able to touch my instrument for an unspecific period of time. Que Sera Sera... whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see... Que Sera Sera.

21st May
These few days had been an emotional roller coaster, partially attributed to the choosing of university. I went to FASS with Sharon, who was offered a double degree - the one which I wanted. Communications & new media degree and Business degree combined into a 5-year-course. But as we walk into FASS, we were pestered by the Geography people, who looked so desperate for students. We sort of entertained them when we walk into the geography room and the walls had vanguard sheets of information about God knows what! They're like some primary school project... utterly lackluster in presentation and creativity. Then we walked into the LT where the South-Asian studies talk was about to end - a degree about India! Alright, I shall not comment further about the course, haha. Well the Comm & New media talk started with a pretty engaging lecturer but the course is so... chapalang! It has mass comm + internet/phone + visual design + gaming. There's a module about game design but they teach theory only. I doubt they'll teach C++ but you can study 5 modules from computing if you want to. But the list of attachment companies shows the usual MDA, Mediacorp, Advertising agencies etc. so it means that there's no industry yet for new media. Faintz!

So ultimately, I was on the page for acceptance and I chatted with Tekko just to confirm my views and choice. Lame but ya, just needed someone to give me a bit of confidence, haha. When I finally click submit, the page actually shows "Session time expired!" ahhhhh!!!! I spent so long and finally took the courage to click submit, it expired. Have to do it all over again LOL. And so the next next chapter of my life will begin in NTU Communication Studies. Highly anticipating and all anxious about it.

All you people who tagged, that's so flattering but my English is not really excellent. B3 is very bad... I remembered the day I received my GP essay result 16/50, which gave an ominously foreshadow of my O level results the next day. Even my bio teacher said "everything on the cert looks nice except the first (B3 English) and the last (C5 - Higher Chinese)". My languages really sucks la, even normal Chinese also bottom 3 in class. Because of English, my L1R5 hit double digit...again ending up one of the lowest in class =( and I really just sat there... eventually started crying le. Still feel dam sorry and dui bu qi my English teacher... really a car crash and I still think it was my Essay about "The most regrettable thing in my life". Now I kind of regret not taking SATs, because my English is forever B3 and it's stuck on my resume for ever and ever. Haix.

Anyway, I began reading this famous short story - Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I daresay Happy Feet somewhat copy from it. Those of you who want to improve your English, this short story is highly recommended and it's not that hard. Only about 40 pages, should take less than 2 hours to read.

A look at my Google Calendar and I'm so amazed... almost fully booked up till 14 July! This week has 2 performances and 2 driving lessons, theory test and CO gathering. Next week there's driving lessons, packing of freight instruments, going JB with my junior and Mayday concert. Meanwhile must arrange various outings with sec 2 and sec 4 friends, mahjong gang, the Discovery colleagues, Firewire, NYPCO, debates friends in June & July. After Sydney there's graduation, SYF presentation concert, CH Music Awards, Harry Potter movie. I also have to find time to prepare for the trip and NS - going down to bras basah, making specs, finding another mobile phone battery. At home I must try to finish the Australian Survivor series, Charmed season 8 which I have yet to watch. Kaoz, how to finish all these in two months?! broke broke broke. and I'm not going to buy Harry Potter book when it comes out because I'm confined in camp~!!! Ok, at least I still have hair at Blue Mountains and graduation. Oh yes, the bloody graduation gown cost $25!

Anyway, here's a new single by Kelly Clarkson - Never Again! It's about her ex-bf dumped her and she never want to think of him again. I love the line "Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere" because now her bf will be forced to listen to this song. "I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green. I hope when your in bed with her, you think of me." "when your day comes and he's through with you. AND HE'LL BE THROUGH WITH YOU! YOU'LL DIE TOGETHER BUT ALONE!" ouch, such a hateful song...

18th May
Guess what, I just watched my 15th survivor finale. Looking back, I could still remember the time when my classmates recommended me the show, me reading about the show on the now-dysfunctional 'Streats' without a clue what is it about. Finally watching the show where they ate a fruit infested with ants and voting the Debb out. Look where the show's got me. I told my classmates and CO friends numerous times - that I would not be in NYP if not for the show. To those who recommended me the show - Jeremy, Bertinus & Tim... thanks!

 Today happens to be one of the emo-day (that's the hottest word in town right now! emo ) Curiosity kills and I almost opened the Pandora's box. In fact, something did leak and I let my emotions got into me. It happens when you're torn between choosing your brain or your heart. Usually in such circumstances, I go with my heart which isn't the wise thing to do but I just can't control it. So susceptible right now... I go into my emo-state. It happened at the Esplanade, it happened again when I receive the various letters and the incident last week. I faltered... swayed... compromised like the meandering river.

 So much things are going on in CO and I don't even know if it's for the better or worse. Haix, maybe its time for me to sit at the grandstand and look at the cat high field again... been a long time since I've done so. Right now, I hope for calmness and a state of equilibrium.

15th May
I'm now finally able to blog again! Due to a nightmarish experience of viruses which manifested (blatantly obvious) and plagued (infested) not only my com but also my phone, thumb drive, PSP and camera, I had to reformat my com repeatedly. 逼良为娼 ahh!!! I realized that 逼良为娼 happens to be one of my quote, ever since I started playing mahjong. It means to force an innocent into prostitution, figure of speech.

To my friends who said I used chim language, I am not sure if I detect sarcasm because I only scared B3 in O level English. Nevertheless, I shall continue to improve and strive for excellence. I shall also try to spot the chim words and explain them (like this) so that Raymond and the rest of you don't have to keep checking dictionary.com =)

Back to the core story, I had a horrendous (horrible) day which resulted in a ghastly (terrible) look on my face. It was couple of days back and I'm sorry that some of my friends mistakenly thought they said something wrong. Something triggered (caused) flashbacks of the secondary school days where I had to slog through the A math papers. Got over it quickly though. Thank God I don't have to do math papers anymore, did one question for Sherryl and I mulled (think) over it for an entire day. It was a simple question about similar triangles. Yes, I used to have so many days of mood swings because of math questions, how 'nostalgic' (huai nian).

Played tennis with Sharon in NYP under a scorching (burning) hot sun. Her face ended up red...lolx! We were so bad at tennis but it was fun. Jane once told me "You lose the fun of bowling when you learn how to play it competitively". How true! hah.

1st May
Doomsday clock officially starts - Minutes to Midnight... 2 and a half month left!

Let's start with the driving lessons. Attended 6 lessons so far and now I can move the car, switch gears, turn sharp corners and do the S-bend and crank course. It's kind of hard but still manageable, having to co-ordinate the pedals were quite easy for me. Having to judge what the other road drivers would do is hard. Hopefully I can clear everything asap and get my driving license.

Went back to Cat High for the JGs final - our best chance of winning the JGs against SCGS. It was raining and when I alighted from the bus stop, I saw a boy in uniform lying on the road, face down. The taxi behind stopped and the driver came out to carry the boy to the side and also took his things. I saw Mr. Ian Chew and he called the ambulance, so everything should be under control. I guess he was knocked down because the bag and books were quite far from him, possibly hit-and-run. gosh! I hope the boy is fine now, the newspaper reported that he is still unconscious.

Anyway, the bus loaded the boys and we reached Nanyang Girls pretty early. The auditorium was superb! The alumni went to the canteen to chill first, met Xander, Kevin, Daryl, Junyi (who flew back from Australia specially for this!), Ben, Robin, Tat, Kenneth Kang, Bryan, Andre, Amoz and many more. At the canteen at 6pm, the lights would be switched off and the P.A. system would go "Girls, it is now 6pm, time for you to return home" ala Big Brother~ LOL!  Hak boon, Edwin Heng, Dennis Leong and several teachers also came. The debate went alright, not very high standard but Ben thought we would win. So many of us were quite shock when SCGS won, so close yet so far. Sad ba, cat high has never touched the medal before and 3x in the finals le. Life's like that, you win some you lose some.

Got to touch mahjong today! angeline, weilin, sophia, david, eunice, amelia, joyce, wanyi came over to my house today after they went kbox. Wanyi noted that me and david were better at mahjong, when girls should be the one better with mahjong. LOLx! Who says so?! Later we went to UK funfair, where Sophia and Joyce were brave enough to go on the Vortex ride, cool. When they came down, their hair was ultra messy. My dad requested for S.H.E Zhong Guo Hua to be inserted into his phone, even he's addicted! lolx. Our rapping competition, Chin Teck walk away as the best rapper of Zhong Guo Hua! She could dance and rap together, ultra cool!

I just logged onto the university acceptance page online. It was as simple as:

 [ ] NTU - Communication Studies
 [ ] NUS - Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences
 [ ] Reject all the offers of admission

Tick that one box and it can determine your entire life! How?! I really dunno, that decision gonna stick for the next 6 years. There's only one month left to decide and now none of the universities told me anything about advance standing. Have to apply after I get accepted, argh! Worse, I have not got my final semester result... haix!