Damn, I feel good. Much better than I ever thought I would. I feell.. normal I guess. Barr a few urges to snack, I feel exactly the same as I did before. Only lighter.
The weightloss is quite obvious by now. Theres still puppy fat, but it's quite loose and is ready to be shed with a little exercise. That's where the fight really begins for me. Exercise. Proper exercise.
As I head into work I think about the ways I am gonna exercise after the diet.. something that I can build up as I go along.. the best way would be sex, I'm good at that, but it looks like I may have to resort to running, which I'm not good at. I always end up looking like frankenstein giving chase to some nubile yound heroine.... or some sort of large grizzly bear up on its hind feet. Not so much running as toppling forwards whilst moving the legs.. it's not pretty I can tell you. But, I guess it's what I need to do. I also think about swimming.. that would be good. The only problem there is that one of the things I hate in life is swimming pools packed with idiot kids.. or as I call them.. 'kidiots'. I know it's their right as much as anyone else to have fun in a pool, but it's also nice to be able to swim around without some kidiot divebombing on top of you. Plus, I'm not a great swimmer.. I float more than swim.. it goes back to my days as a kid when I was in the sea and a great white shark that had been terrorising the townsfolk swam right past me.. I could do nothing but shit myself as my father, Roy Schneider looked on..
The weirdest thing happens as I awake in the morning. There is some sort of radio show on my clock radio, and the topic they are discussing is immigrants.. and they have 'joe public' calling in, and one broad minded british male suggests that we (and I quote) "put them all in a large tin hut in the middle of the countryside and let the sun cook them alive".. like in some sort of giant oven. It's good to see the british people havent lost their legeandary broadminded attitude..
As I get off the no. 73 bus to change routes, I swear I jump off and there in front of me is a huge sign called 'THE EGG SHOP'.. and right next door is the 'Chicken King' takeaway.. I wonder if I am halleucinating again.. The egg shop doesnt even sell eggs! Now even buildings are taunting me..
Breakfast is a nice surprise.. an egg.. didnt see that one coming..
Work is ok. I take a walk at lunchtime to get some food from Marks and Spencer. A little bird tells me that they do nice fish stuff, and seeing as todays lunch is fish, I decide to investigate. I get some poached salmon, and salad, then on the way out decide as I am there I will go and buy a black shirt.. because I don't have one and I want one. That's how simple my brain works. So I travel up the 3 floors in luxury.. by escaltor.. and wander the menswear department looking for what I want. I eventually find a nice set of shirts, but am unsure what neck size I am.. I look around for some help.. but realise I cant actually work out who works there and who is browsing. Obviosuly businessmen are out in their lunch hour getting new shirts, but they are like decoys trying to bamboozle me.. I probably look like I'm trying to see if any security guards are about so I can steal the shirt.. but all I want is some help. I can't ask the guys if they work there, coz that would just make me look like a tit if they say no..
Then, after about ten minutes of confusion, I eventually see a man with a tape measure around his neck.. a sure fire indicator of an employee of the menswear department, and I acost him to measure my neck. He does it, and also does my inside leg for free too.. although I do think he was just trying to touch my penis.
The shirt looks good, and the best thing is that it wont show my sweat patches off as much.. I foresee that I will either look like some sort of sex god when I put it on, or I'll look like a waiter..
The salmon is nice, it goes down OK. Definately the best fish meal yet.. but that doesnt take much. The tomatoes are the worst.. I loved them at first, but now I am sick of them. It's like I have them with virtually every meal and I swear I feel like I am gonna start shitting heinz soup. I start to wodner if that's how J Henry statred out..
The afternoon flows along.. I get to leave early today. I stop off in sainsburys on the way back and buy the lean ham I am allowed.. and more tomatoes.. I swear after the diet tomatoes and eggs will not be on my mind for a long time.
As I walk home I plan my weekend. I have arranged to go out with cheese on saturday, and we are gonna drink ourselves silly. Not a great idea for my body.. but the mind says yes!! Maybe by monday I can get back up to my previous weight..