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4/21/2006 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 That is what I did today. I came to Him for rest. I didn't go to school today, which is very rare for me. I am tired and battling some sort of cold or allergies. My head has been throbbing. And of course, my heart is heavy. I can't even say most of that is adoption related, though every day we are without Maria here with us, our hearts break just a little more. Alot of it was work related, health related, and just plain fatigue. I am so glad I can come to God for rest. The bad thing about sick days is that you are sick. I have so many things I would love to do around the house (much easier when kids are not home) but unfortunately not the energy or well being today to do them. I just slept much of the morning and would spend a few minutes here and there updating our budget. At least until my head would start hurting again, then I would head back to bed. Not really a fun day, but needed. I do hope the weekend will be better. My sister and her kids are here, which is always a fun treat. And my dad's mom is here staying with my mom's mom (GG), so it will be fun to see both grandmothers together. We don't have any major plans for the weekend, other than Mark doing yardwork, so I hope it will just be a nice, laidback weekend to relax and enjoy being together. Remind me of that tomorrow morning when I have two children in my room bright and early arguing over something small. :) I do have a little good news. Hunter's revised birth certificate came. So we are ready in case the Passport people question his application. I cannot thank Mr. Adams, the director of Vital Records for Arkansas, enough for his help. He went above and beyond the call of duty to help us with this. I told him I wished he was in charge of the US Embassy in Guatemala, our adoption might be moving quicker. :) Well, no adoption news. I didn't really expect any. And I forgot that on Fridays the Embassy won't accept paperwork anyway (though they will give preapproval if you can ever get submitted :), so I continue to pray that next week will be THE week. Thank you for joining us in prayer. We appreciate your kind words more than you can ever know. Especially with weeks like this. |
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| 4/22/2006 Well, it all boils down to our life verse, Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." That is the verse we are clinging to. We don't understand why this is taking so long, why God doesn't seem to be answering our prayers, why Maria is not any closer to being with us. And our hearts hurt. But even hurting hearts can trust. And that is all we can do. We obviously can't do it ourselves. (Or I imagine we would have by now) We have to believe God has a plan. And He will direct us. I just pray that we will have the patience and understanding, because our own understanding doesn't understand. It was a productive day. Mark worked out in the yard all day. We are working on a vision for the backyard. I blame it all on the Home Depot commercials. I worked on cleaning out the kitchen (fridge, pantry) as well as trading out summer/winter clothes. Fun stuff like that with a couple of games of Hungry Hippos in between. I am still fighting fatigue and a sore throat. And there is this perpetual cloud over my head (I know, ironic with our last name). And one mention of Maria produces all kinds of tears. But again, our lives are in His hands. Oh, and I have been catching up on the budget. That is all kinds of fun. :) Actually, I enjoy it (as long as there is a positive balance) because it is so orderly, so black and white. Nothing else in my life feels like that right now. Please continue to join with us in prayer that the attorney will get into the Embassy and our paperwork will be accepted. I am devoting Monday's day of prayer to that (as well as friends' and familys' requests). Thank you for waiting with us. |
| 4/23/2006 Psalms 69:1-3, "Save Me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, Where there is no standing. I have come into deep waters, Where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God." Yes, aren't those encouraging words? All I can say is they fit where I am today. I hope I don't disappoint anyone. I am in a funk. A BIG funk. I feel a little lost and like I am drowning. A little withdrawn and disconnected. Very tired and not feeling 100%. And a little persecuted. I feel alone in a work situation. And I definitely feel forgotten in the adoption situation. And I don't know how to fix it. I am at a point I don't know what else to pray (and not feeling very heard anyway). All this, and I haven't even had breakfast this morning. :) Please don't think I have jumped God's ship. I haven't. Sometimes that is the one thing that does keep me afloat. He is faithful, always has been. And I know I will feel His presence again. I just have to ride this one out. It is just a funk. I am sure it will pass. God, please let is pass. Have a good Sonday. P.S. Tomorrow is my prayer day, so maybe tomorrow will be a better day... |