more_fishing_jokes

More Fishing Jokes & Riddles

Bob and three of his buddies have gone fishing every saturday for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Bob lays down his pool, stands up in the boat, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Bob sits down, puts his hat on and cast out without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of them finally speaks up and says, "that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by."
Bob replied, "It seems the least I could do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for over forty years!"

�While fishing one day,� said the old angler, �I ran short of bait and didn�t know what to do. I looked around and there, at my feet, I noticed a snake which held a frog in his mouth. I removed the frog and cut it up for bait, feeling much elated that I had seen the snake at that moment.�

�I did, however, feel somewhat guilty at stealing the poor reptile�s meal. So, to repay him slightly for my supply of bait, I poured a few drops of whiskey into his mouth. My conscience was relieved when I saw the snake crawl away in a contented mood, and I went back to my fishing."

�Some time had passed when I felt something hitting against the leg of my boot. Imagine my surprise when, looking down, I saw the same snake, carrying three more frogs in his mouth.�

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game warden asked him how he did it. The man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish. The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " are you going to fish or talk?".

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby- looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took pulled a couple of loonies out of his pocket and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the homeless man said.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend the money on flies for fishing instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't fished in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."

The man replied, "Hey, man, that's okay! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, and fly fishing!"

3 blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river!

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