One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a fish policeman in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,"Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking -'isn't that obvious'?) "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the policeman. "That's true, but you have all the equipment."
Vill opened his tackle box and pulled out a huge Bic lighter about a foot long. " Wow " says Sven " Ver you get a lighter like dat?"
"From my Genie " bragged Vill.
" You got a Genie?" asked Sven " Can I see him ?"
" Ya sure " says Vill and he summoned his Genie again from his tackle box.
"Wow " says Sven " Hello Genie my name is Sven, I am friend of Vill, can I have a vish too?
"Ya sure why not " says the Genie.
"OK , I'd like a million bucks....."
"ok no problem".....a few minutes pass and the sky begins to come alive with the quacking of ducks.....
" Hey Vill vut is dis? I asked for a million bucks not a million ducks...."
Oh I'm sorry Sven ,I forgot to tell you ...Genie is a bit hard of hearing...... You don't think I actually asked for a 12" bick, do you ? "
She inadvertantly selects a two piece auger.
Stepping up to the the till to pay for it, the clerk says "That's just the handle, would you like a SCREW for that Auger?"
She looks at him and thinks for a moment replying....
"No,But i will GO DOWN for that coffeemaker over there!"
Next week after church they load up his truck and head out to the river, they launch the boat and head out on the water. The old boy asks her which way, up or down, she immediatly takes off her clothes and they make wild love in the bottom of the boat.
When they get back to shore he asks if they could go out again next week and she agrees . Next week comes along and they head back out to the river put the boat in and take off . Once out on the water he asks her the same question, up or down? She replies up.
Quite taken aback by the answer, the old boy asks, "Last week when I asked up or down we had mad sex, this week you tell me to go up, what's wrong?"
She answers "Last week I forgot my hearing aids and thought you said F*ck or drown!"
