I'm Surrounded!

I work retail ... in a pet store none-the-less,
so I often see the dumber side of people.
 

Here you will find some examples of the madness.
(this may have to be combined with a blog or diary of some sort).

When you take an animal from the wild, you become responsible for it.
Yes, it was surviving out there, on its own, with no care.
That was because it could care for itself, move about to meet its needs.
Now that you've decided to cram it into a little glass tank,
you've become responsible for its every need.
YOU have to regulate the temperature and humidity.
YOU have to feed it appropriate food.
YOU need to clean up after it.
IT isn't going to change its needs and habits because you caught it.
IT isn't going to love you and live on love alone.
IT has its needs and YOU have to provide.
IF YOU CAN'T, YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT ALONE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In general, one of my favorite dumb things that people do is
getting mad when they purchase tons of fish
cram them into a small tank (or bowl)
and then get mad at the fish (or me)
when the fish die.
Because you KNOW I sold them inferior fish
just so they'd have to come back and exchange them.

I don't begrudge people being miffed that their fish died.
Dead fish are no fun at all.
But I swear, I did not rig your fish to die.
I did not sneak into your house to murder them,
just so that my prediction
"if you put that many fish in your tank, some, or all, will die"
would come true.

I'm in the business of keeping fish alive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I KNOW your turtle is a turtle...
like all other cold blooded reptiles it needs a heat lamp
yes, turtles are reptiles, yes I know it's just a turtle
that's why it needs turtle food
and a proper turtle habitat.

If you didn't want to take care of a turtle, why'd you get one?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

People who get mad that we don't sell live feeder mice are getting to me too.
We sell frozen feeder mice, and will be happy to help you transition your critter over.
WE DON'T SELL LIVE FEEDER MICE!
Yelling at or threatening me won't make them magically appear.
We never have sold live feeder mice, so telling me that the last guy sold you some
won't work... because it's corporate policy and always has been.
No, I will not sell you a live hamster, rat or gerbil, instead.
I don't care that you now say it's for your daughter,
you asked me for a live feeder mouse, now I can't sell you ANY live rodents.
I am not torturing an animal, or loosing my job because you are too lazy
to drive down the road to the store that DOES sell live feeder rodents.
I'll even give you directions, or call them to ensure that they're open & have them.
Go ahead and complain to my managers, there's nothing they can do.
WE DON'T SELL LIVE FEEDER MICE!
Remember?  It's corporate policy, the manager can't sell you one either.
In fact, management got so tired of dealing with people like you that
our store doesn't carry ANY live mice.
We sell frozen feeder mice, and will be happy to help you transition your critter over.

ANTISPAMMER LINK