Why no pictures?

Come on, Helen, you've talked about your body for pages now and I'm dying to see what all that hard work actually looks like. Where are your pictures?

Well, sorry, but I'm going to have to disappoint you. It's not that I'm shy - ask anyone in the Department and you'll see that I'm a terrible show-off; my usual kit around here is bike shorts and bra-top and you should see the stuff I wear if I go clubbing. No, I'm not shy at all.

I am a perfectionist, however, and my body is a work in progress. Moments when I'm really happy with my body are actually quite rare - most of the time I'm thinking, "could improve separation in those quads, girl," rather than "damn, I'm the bomb." I wouldn't like to show myself off in a less-than-prime state.

Plus, the internet is full of creepy weird people, and the women's bodybuilding community has more than its fair share. There's even a jargon term for them: Schmoes. Frankly, the idea of greasy middle-aged men getting off to pictures of me creeps me out. So, apologies for no images, but now you know why.

Ironically, I have literally hundreds of body pictures. I use them as a training aid - tracking my progress through shots taken over a period of time. It's quite inspirational.