I woke up in the morning not knowing where I was with a killer headache and that familiar burning in my nose. The first thing I did was rub at my nose before I sat up and looked around. "Oh thank God," I said. I was at home. I shuffled around, looking for the clock, and found out it was eleven. I have no idea what happened last night. The last thing I remember was taking a line with Leo, but I have no idea what I did after that or how I got home.
I rolled out of bed and flopped my way across the room to the shower. I was in there for about a half an hour with the hot water running down my face, hoping I would feel better, but it didn't really help. Once I got out of the shower I threw up and had to brush my teeth again. I got dressed in the most comfortable clothes I owned and walked outside to the living room. Leo was in there, looking just as terrible as I was, by himself. I wanted to ask where Kris was but my animosity towards him right now got the best of me and I just turned around and left the room.
"Oh come on, Taylor, it wasn't that bad," Leo said, getting up and following me to the kitchen.
"Fuck you, Leo," I said.
"Don't be like that. I didn't force you to do anything�"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked, turning around to face him. I turned too quickly and I had to hold onto the counter so I wouldn't fall over. The room was spinning. "What do you think you're doing taking smack like that without even a thought of what might come from it? What else have you done?"
"It was just a line, Taylor," he said, shaking his head. "It wasn't even that good."
"It was cocaine, Leo! We stopped doing that shit years ago. I've been clean for five years now and for what? For me to blow it all away in an instant? Do you know how guilty I feel?"
"Nobody said you had to do it."
"But you knew! You knew I'd do it! You of all people know I'm weak like that. Everyone knows if I got the chance I'd do it again, so that's why I stayed away from it! God fucking dammit, Leo! You knew!"
"Whatever, Taylor�"
"You've been doing it all along, haven't you?" I asked. "You never really quit, did you? That's why you got over it so much easier than I did. You were faking it." Leo shook his head in disbelief.
"I cannot believe you would say something like that."
"Yeah, because it's true!" I yelled. He sighed.
"Yes, it's true."
"Get out of my home!" I yelled. "Get out of here! I never want to see you again!"
"Don't do anything rash, Taylor. It's still me. It's still Leo."
"You're not Leo. You wouldn't have lied to me like that. It's been five years, Leo! You've been lying to me for five years! I never want to speak to you again! You are no longer my friend."
"Don't be going all Zac on me now�"
"Get out!" I yelled. "Get your shit and get out of here!" Leo eyed me.
"You're serious," he said, as if he'd just now realized it.
"You're damn right I'm serious! Get the fuck out of here!" In disbelief he walked to his room to get his suitcase. "And to think," I whispered to myself, "I was going to make him my best man."
I went to the living room and sat down, averting my eyes when Leo came out of his room with his suitcase. I expected him to leave right away but he stopped as he passed by. "You know what," he said, taking a step into the room, "do you think it was easy for me? I tried to quit with you, Taylor, but I couldn't do it."
"I don't want to hear it, Leo."
"I tried! I'm not as strong as you, Taylor, and I never have been! I'm not like you with your perfect little life. I've always been the one left out. You went to California to record your little hit record and I was left at home. You went around the world and I stayed home. You became a celebrity and I just because that bastard's leftover friend for when he was in town. Then you meet Kris and I don't even exist anymore! You went fucking everywhere with her and you never cared about me! Why should you care? You can move to Tampa without thinking about what you're leaving behind, and then you could move up here without even telling me! You didn't have to tell me because I'm not important to you. I've been your best friend for thirteen years�taking all the bullshit you put me through� You're the lousiest friend a person could have but I still took it! Obviously it didn't mean a single thing to you. You know what, I hope Kris finds out what happened last night and I hope she dumps your sorry ass so you can live the rest of your life alone like I will, and when she does don't you dare come crawling back to me. I've been there to pick up the pieces you've left behind but I'm not going to do it this time." I looked at him.
"Are you done?"
"Your family was right," he said, walking back to his suitcase. "You are a fucking bastard." He left, slamming the door behind him. I was left with my thoughts for a few minutes before the door opened and Kris walked in. I looked at her, my eyes glazing over with tears, and then quickly looked away.
"Hey baby," she said, smiling. "You're finally up. Where's Leo?"
"I kicked him out." She sat down next to me.
"Why?"
"Because I hate him."
"Oh, honey, you don't hate him. Look at me." I looked at her. "Baby, what's wrong?" I could feel the emotion rising in my throat and I blinked, trying not to cry.
"I fucked up last night, Kris," I whispered, my voice caked with pain and tears. "I mean I really fucked up last night." I could see the worry cross her face.
"What happened?"
"Leo�Leo and I went out to this club and there were these girls there," I said. The look in her eyes changed. "No, no, nothing like that, I promise you. I didn't do anything with either of them. Leo brought them back to our VIP room and the one girl kept trying to kiss me, but I wouldn't do it. I didn't want to and I couldn't do that to you. I love you too much. She got kind of pissed off and the girl Leo was with said she had something that would calm me down. She had some coke and I did it, baby, and I'm sorry. I am so sorry�"
"Oh, Taylor," she said. She put her arms around me and I couldn't help the tears that ran down my face.
"I am so sorry, Kris."
"It's okay, baby," she whispered. "It's okay. You did the right thing and you told me. It's going to be just fine."
"Are you mad?" I asked.
"No, baby, I'm not," she told me. "You're only human. Everybody makes mistakes and it was just a big mistake. It's okay." I sat up and wiped my eyes.
"And to make it all worse Leo did it without a problem, without the tiniest bit of compunction or anything! It was all his fault and when I tried to talk to him about it I found out he never stopped! All this time I thought he was clean and he was just lying to me. I thought he was better than that." I sighed. "I feel so bad, Kris. I don't know what the hell happened last night. I don't remember anything. I don't know what I did or how I even got home�"
"It doesn't matter, baby," Kris said. "Everything's fine now. You got home fine."
"I'm lucky I did," I whispered.
"And you know what?" she asked, leaning in and lowering her voice. "Last night you came home at, like, three o'clock. You woke me up and we had the best sex we've ever had."
"Really?" I asked.
"Oh my God, it was amazing," she said, a smile on her face. "You blew me away."
"Oh man," I said. "I wish I could have remembered that."
"Me too, then you could do it again." She kissed me. "I love you."
"I love you too, baby," I said. "And there's something else I have to tell you." She raised an eyebrow.
"About last night?" I shook my head.
"No, it's something else. I'm not supposed to tell you but I have to tell you. It's been eating me up inside," I said.
"Is it about Zac and Ginger?" she asked. I gave her a confused look. How did figure that out so quickly? Unless�
"You know, don't you?" I asked. She nodded.
"Yeah, I think I do. I know something�I don't know if it's the same something you know."
"Mine's a pretty big something," I said. She nodded again.
"Yeah, so is mine! So, what do you know?"
"I'm not going to tell you, what if it's not the same thing you know?" She gave me a look. I took her left hand and ran my thumb over her ring. She looked down.
"Yes it is! They got married!"
"I know!" I said. "Did Ginger tell you?" She nodded.
"Yeah, she told me right away," Kris said.
"Ugh! I had to pry it out of Zac and that was yesterday!"
"Well she told me not to say anything�I wanted to, baby, but I figured Zac would tell you and then you'd feel guilty that you couldn't tell me, so you'd tell me anyway, and here we are," she said. "Anyway, do you want to go upstairs and tell them we know?"
"Sure." Kris and I stood up, but I got a sudden head rush and had to sit back down.
"Baby, are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm still just a little bit hung over," I said. "Let me try again." I slowly got up again. "Okay, I think I'm good. Let's go." We left the apartment and took the elevator upstairs. Usually we take the stairs but I still felt like crap and really didn't feel like walking that much.
"Hi friends," Kris said, walking into the apartment. We found Zac and Ginger in the living room. Zac looked like he just woke up from a nap. He had Jenny in his lap and the three of them were watching PBS kids, which was almost always on now that Jenny had discovered it.
"Oh my God, guys, you have to see this picture I just took," Ginger said. She grabbed the digital camera off the table and ran over to us. She set it up and handed it to Kris. I looked over her shoulder at the picture; it was Zac asleep on the couch with Jenny asleep on his chest.
"Aww�that is so adorable!" Kris said. "Taylor, isn't that the cutest!"
"Oh, yes, it is," I said, rolling my eyes.
"I want a copy of this," Kris said, handing Ginger back the camera. "Anyway, we came up here for a reason. We know you two are married."
"What are you talking about?" Ginger asked. Kris gave her a look.
"Oh, come on," I said. "Zac told me and you told Kris, and we told each other, so everybody knows."
"You told Taylor?" Ginger asked Zac.
"You told Kris!"
"Kris is my best friend!"
"Taylor's my brother!"
"Guys, it's okay," Kris said. "Geez, we're cool with it. Yay! You got married!" Ginger sat down next to Zac.
"Yeah, we got married." Kris and I sat down. I propped up my head with my hand. I was still tired.
"So are you going to do anything?" Kris asked. "I mean, are you going on a honeymoon or anything like that?" They both shrugged. "Oh, why not?"
"Well for one thing, Jenny's really young. She's too young to leave here for a week, maybe two, and she's too young to take with us. And for another thing, we've been everywhere," Zac said. "There's really nothing left to see."
"But we haven't seen it together," Ginger said. Zac looked at her.
"Do you want a honeymoon?" he asked.
"We didn't open another can of worms, did we?" I asked. "Because we have a tendency to do that�" Zac shook his head.
"No, no, we just never talked about it. Do you want a honeymoon?"
"Well�" Ginger said. "Yeah."
"All right�we'll do that," he said. My eyes began to droop and my head slowly slid of my hand and I caught myself before I fell over, my head snapping up. "Taylor, are you okay?"
"I'm just kind of tired," I said.
"Still?" Kris asked.
"I'm sorry�" I muttered.
"Hey," Zac said, "if the two of you are up here, where's Leo?" I didn't say anything. "Is he still sleeping?" Kris looked at me. I still didn't say anything.
"There was a little, um, incident," Kris explained. "Taylor kicked him out."
"What happened?" Kris looked back at me and I made it very clear that I wasn't going to say anything. She turned back to Zac and Ginger.
"Last night at the club Taylor and Leo met up with some girls, and one of the girls had some coke�" Zac gasped and looked at me. I looked away, tears welling in my eyes again.
"Taylor, you didn't."
"As a result of that, Leo and Taylor had a big fight earlier and Taylor kicked him out."
"Oh my God," Zac said. "Taylor�tell me you didn't do it." I didn't say anything. "Oh my God�I cannot believe you. I cannot fucking believe you." I closed my eyes. "I can't even look at you right now." Zac got up and left the room. Ginger followed, trying to put some reason into it, while Kris put her arm around me.
"It's okay, baby."
"No it's not," I said, looking at her. "It's not okay. You don't know what I was like when I was on it. He does. I was so terrible to him and to everyone else� I mean, you don't understand what it was like."
"No, I don't baby, but you're not back on it now. You made a mistake and it always happens. It's sad but it's true. Baby, you and I are going to take care of this. It was a mistake."
"Yeah," I spat, "I mistake I don't regret." I got up and left.