“He’s not here,” Taylor said to Kris. She sat, lightly crying. “He’s not here and he’s probably not going to be here.”
“He was the one who wanted to do this in the first place,” she said. “So if he’s not here, to hell with him. I should have never have stayed with him.” She looked down at her bag. She was supposed to take a train to New York with Zac to stay with him, and he’d come back a few days after for all her stuff. He was supposed to come so he could ride with her on the train from Chicago to New York.
She’d been waiting three hours and he still hadn’t showed.
“I guess we’re not going to live happily ever after, now are we?” Kris asked, putting her hand on her very large stomach. “The train left two hours ago.”
“He’s not coming.”
“Can you take me home?”
“Sure.” Taylor helped her get up, then grabbed her bag. “I knew he wasn’t going to show.”
“I swear, this is the absolute last time I’m ever going to speak to him. I don’t even want to know to him. He said he was going to live with me, get married to me, and raise my baby. He went as far as getting my train ticket and making more empty promises. Well I don’t want to be with him anymore.”
Taylor took her hand and squeezed it, showing a tiny bit of comfort. “Why would he promise me all those things when he didn’t want to do them in the first place?”
“Because he wanted you happy for the time being. Now he’s just being scared and is running away.” Kris sighed and looked down. It’d been a while since she’d seen her feet, her belly was so big. Another four months and he’d given her everything, until now. She would be having this baby within the next two weeks. Now he wasn’t even showing up to be with her. She knew he was in the city, his flight had come in the previous night. Taylor had picked him up at the airport, but he was complaining about something or another and hadn’t seen Kris at all since he got in. Taylor had last seen him when he dropped Zac off. He must have gone back home already.
“It’s not like he doesn’t know where this station is. It’s not like he’s coming in from New York. You saw him last night, did you not?”
“Yes, I picked him up from the airport and dropped him off at his hotel.”
“That bastard.”
“It’s shows that he really doesn’t want to be a part of your life, Kris.”
“Well he can go do whatever the hell he wants to do. I don’t give a damn about him anymore. I—Holy shit!”
“What? What happened?”
“I think my water broke.”
“What?”
“Taylor get me to the hospital.”
“Well come on, let’s go.” He took her hand and they quickly left the train station and back into Taylor’s car. He threw her bag in the back and made sure she was alright before starting up the car and driving to the hospital.
Kris kept her hand on her stomach, silently cursing herself. She was so pissed beyond pissed and of course that had to be the time when this girl wanted to pop out of her.
Taylor arrived at the hospital and ran out just as he turned off the car. He ran over to Kris’s side and helped her out. They walked quickly into the hospital, and in a flurry of activity, Kris found herself in a tiny white room, sitting on the bed. “Are you okay? Can I get you anything?”
“I’m fine, Taylor. But thank you.” He fell into the chair, taking a deep breath. “You know, I don’t understand why we ran in here. It’s gonna take a while for me to get this baby out of me, so basically we rushed to sit here and wait.”
“I don’t know, but we’re here, and that’s all that matters.”
“As much as I don’t want you doing this, do you think you could call Zac? It is his kid and everything, he should be here.”
“Yeah, I’ll call him.”
“But come right back, okay?” Kris asked, smiling. “I don’t want to be here by myself for very long.” Taylor nodded and walked out of the room. He took out his cell phone and leafed through the address book for Zac’s cell. There wasn’t much signal in the hospital, so he stepped outside and called Zac.
Zac’s phone wasn’t turned on. What a surprise, Taylor thought. He decided to leave a message on his voice mail. “Hey Zac, I don’t know where the hell you are or what the hell you’re doing, and I don’t even think I should be telling you this, but I’m at the hospital with Kris. She’s in labor right now, and since you’re not here, you’re putting a lot of stress on her. It doesn’t matter, I’m here, and you’re not. I won’t lecture you, even though I do have a lot of things to yell at you. Bye.”
Taylor walked back into the hospital and over to Kris’s room. She was reading a magazine, and looked up when Taylor walked in. “Let me guess, he didn’t have his phone on.”
“Nope.”
“He is the hardest person in the world to get a hold of.”
“I left him a message on his voicemail, so he should find out you’re in labor in about a week or so. You know, when he actually decides to check it.”
“And if he sees it’s from you, he probably won’t check it at all.”
“He’ll probably think I’m yelling at him for not picking you up today.”
“I want to kill him. If I wasn’t in labor I would.”
“It’s just the little things that always keep you from doing that,” Taylor said, smiling.
“She’s not seeming very little to me,” Kris said. “I swear this baby weighs a ton, she’s sitting right on my bladder too.”
“That’s was always fun.” Kris rolled her eyes. She felt a pain coming on, and reached out for Taylor’s hand. He moved over and grabbed it, and with his other hand, moved her hair out of her face. “It’s okay, hun, just breathe.” She took in her breaths that she learned at Lamaze classes (in which Zac never seemed to be able to make it to, Taylor was always the one to take her and sit through them with her).
Taylor sat with her, trying to soothe her, but he really was just there for support. He knew it was more likely that he was going to end up staying with her throughout the entire labor, and he was going to be the one to help her out with this baby.
“Okay, I’m better now,” Kris said. “You know, you really don’t have to be here with me.”
“I want to.”
“You just don’t want to leave me alone.”
“That’s very true also.” She laid her head against the pillow, looking over at him. He was there to help her out, even though she really didn’t want it from him. The past four months was a lot for her with him. She only saw Zac once since Christmas, all the other times Taylor was by her side. She’d never told Zac about that, he’d get angry at her for seeing Taylor, but now he found out and was just going to get even more angry at her because she’d never mentioned it.
“Tell me honestly, Taylor,” Kris said. “Do you think Zac is going to come?” Taylor looked at her blankly for a few moments before responding.
“No.”
“Figures.”
“Of course he’ll want to be here. But after what he pulled today at the train station, he won’t come. He won’t want to get yelled at for not showing up.”
“Before I started thinking about the future, and what I was going to do after the baby was born, he was so enthusiastic to having a child. He would be ‘I’m going to spoil you rotten and give you everything you’ve ever wanted and I’ll love you forever.’ But, once I told him there was going to be some complications about us always being apart, he changed. I don’t think he was thinking about the future at all.”
“It’s Zac. He doesn’t like thinking about that.”
“I know, but at least he can do is not reject me. Ever since I mentioned it, we haven’t been the same. It’s like he just all of a sudden stopped loving me, stopped being my best friend, stopped goofing off with me. It all changed. And I hate it. I want everything to be back to the way it was.”
“You do know that you can always go back to the way it was.”
“No I can’t.”
“You can still give this baby up for adoption. You can still forgive Zac for everything he did and go back to your carefree life.”
“I don’t want to do that, though. I want to keep this baby.”
“Then that’s your decision. You made a decision and you have to deal with all the consequences that come with it.”
“I can’t believe I ever let myself sleep with him.”
“There’s not much you can do about that now. You’ve done it, you’ve made your decision, and you’re going to live you life the way you choose.”
“I want to do this myself.”
“What does that mean?”
“If I can’t have Zac raising this baby, I want to do it myself.” Taylor gave her a look. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Don’t get mad at me now.”
“I’m not mad. Who said I was mad? You want to raise the baby yourself, you do that. I’m just wondering where you’re going to get the money to do it? If you think Zac is going to give you child support, you have another thing coming. He can’t even keep his promises to live with you and help you raise the baby, how do you expect him to give you money?”
“Then I don’t need him. I’ll do it myself.”
“Your job is not going to cover you, your daughter, and whatever bills that come with her. Babies are expensive, you don’t have enough to do it.”
“I’ll manage, alright.”
“Fine. I’m just saying you won’t.”
“You’re just pissed off because I’d rather do this myself that do it with you.”
“I’m not pissed off, alright?”
“Then don’t raise your voice at me.” She grabbed his hand. “Taylor, I just have to tell you this. I know I’m deciding to be by myself, but I want you to know that I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you. I don’t want you as my baby’s father only because it’ll be too much for me. I can’t just have all the pain with Zac and then turn to his brother. Do you understand that?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Who knows. Maybe somewhere down the line we will get together again.”
“I hope so.”
“You can still be around and stay friends with me. I’m not kicking you out of my life or anything. I still want you around. I still want you friends with my baby.”
“Alright.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“How’s everything going?” Dr. Corder asked, walking into the room.
“Dr. Corder? You’re my doctor?” Kris asked. “You can deliver babies?”
“I’m just an all around kind of guy, now aren’t I?” he asked. Kris smiled. “You don’t look to happy, what’s wrong?”
“The baby’s father isn’t here.”
“Oh really, why not?”
“It’s a long story, and I really don’t want go get into it right now. All I know is that’s he’s not here and he’s not going to be here.”
“Do you at least have someone here with you?”
“Yeah, my friend Taylor’s here.”
“I know him, don’t I?”
“Yeah. But we’re just friends now.”
“Oh, okay. Where’s he now?”
“Fetching me ice chips.”
“Well that’s all he’s pretty much good for. Is he going to be staying with you until you’re ready to leave?” Kris nodded. “Well that’s good. You really need somebody here.”
“He’s gonna try to call up Zac, the father, again. I know he’s in town, but he doesn’t live here, so what we really have to do is find him.” Dr. Corder checked a few things out on her chart.
“Well, I’ll let you go. You’re doing perfect so far, and I’ll come by to check on you in just a little bit.”
“Alright.” Dr. Corder left, and just a little bit later Taylor walked back in with the phone.
“I’ve got Zac on the line, do you want to talk to him?” Taylor asked. Kris sighed, then nodded. He handed the phone over to her and then walked out of the room again, this time to actually get the ice chips.
“Why the hell aren’t you here?”
“I’m in New York, there’s was an emergency down at the studio and I went. I’m sorry I can’t be there.”
“You let me down. You let me down and you’re not here while I’m having this baby. I thought everything was going to be perfect again, and then I waited for three fucking hours at the station, Zac. Three hours. I am not going to go through this shit anymore. I don’t want to talk to you again. All you have done for the past four months is completely ignore me and think that everything you’re doing is alright. Well I’m not going to take it anymore, alright? I’m leaving you, good riddance, I never want to see you again.”
“What? Kris, come on.”
“I’m serious this time. You’ve done nothing but make empty promises to me. And now you’re missing the birth of your child. You know what, stay there in New York. I don’t want you here anyway.”
“I’m coming over there as soon as I can, Kris.”
“Do whatever the hell you want, alright? I just don’t want to be a part of it.” She hung up the phone, then screamed in frustration. If he really doesn’t get here before I deliver this baby, I will do more than just hurt him.
“Okay Kris, you’re doing fine, we’re gonna need you to start pushing now,” Dr. Corder said.
“What? I can’t push now! Zac’s not here!”
“He’s not going to be here, Kris.”
“He has to be here!” she yelled. “I can’t push now.”
“You’re going to have to push, Kris, it’s time for you to do that.” She held in her tears, even more pissed now that Zac wasn’t there and her baby was nearly born. “Just start with one big push, Kris.” She closed her eyes and pushed. “Okay, relax for a tiny bit.” She let out her breath. Why isn’t he here? “Give me another push, Kris.”
She pushed again, tears falling out of her eyes. “That’s good, relax.” Taylor watched, disgusted. He’d seen this in the Lamaze class, but it was a hell of a lot worse when he saw it in person. “I’m seeing a head. Push again, Kris.” Kris closed her eyes and pushed, making Taylor even more disgusted. “Okay, one good, hard push should do it, Kris.” She pushed again, then relaxed. She opened her eyes and heard the baby cry.
Hearing her baby cry made her cry. She waited, breathing hard and trying to relax, even if she felt like shit. My baby’s born and he’s not here… Dr. Corder brought her baby over to Kris and set her in Kris’s arms. Kris cried, looking down at her baby. “Hi,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I’m your Mommy.” Kris wiped away some of the gross stuff on her baby’s face, as a few tears fell down her own face. “Can you take her over to the ward now? I don’t want her to see me crying like this.”
“Alright,” Dr. Corder said. “Have you decided on a name?”
“Charisma. Charisma Krystal Carter.” Dr. Corder smiled and they walked out of the room. As soon as everyone was gone, Kris began to bawl.
He’s not here…that means he doesn’t give a damn.
If he can’t be a part of her birth, I don’t want him as a part of her life.