Kris lay in her room, staring at the ceiling. So far, Chicago was boring. Nothing was happening, but it was only the second day. The door opened and she didn�t bother looking over, figuring it was either her mother or David. Misty and Zac went out together, for reasons unknown to her, and were due to be back around five. It was nearing noon at that time, and she was bored out of her mind.
�You got a new bed.�
Kris�s head shot over. Taylor was standing there, looking around the room. She sat up and backed up against the wall so she had something to lean on.
�What the hell are you doing here?�
�I knew Zac and Misty were gonna be gone all day, so I figured I would drop by and say hi.�
�Okay. Hi. Now leave.�
�You mean I can�t even stay and have a conversation with you?� Taylor asked, his eyes finally settling on her. �You�re getting big.� He sat down on the edge of the bed.
�Why are you here, Taylor? You know every time we meet up we end up doing something we regret.�
�I�ve never regretted anything I�ve done with you.� Kris looked away.
�Well I have.�
�You happy with Zac?�
�Most definitely.�
�That�s great. Last time I saw you, you weren�t so sure.� Kris looked back to Taylor. �I just want to make sure that you�re happy with him. I want you to be happy.�
�Taylor, you�re acting like a total sleaze. You�re making me feel uncomfortable.� Taylor immediately got up and backed away.
�I�m sorry!� he said, and sounded like he truly meant it. �I didn�t know I�ve been acting like that! Have I been doing this all along?� Kris nodded. �I�m so sorry!� Kris was taken aback by his apology. With the way he had been acting, she was shocked to see that he really cared about her.
�It�s okay. As long as you stop.� Taylor sat at her desk, keeping his distance. He knew he�d been acting different, but he didn�t know how it had been affecting her. She�d never said anything before, even though she had once or twice looked completely uncomfortable with what he was saying and doing to her.
�How�s the baby doing?� he asked.
�Perfect.�
�I�m glad.�
�I know you didn�t come over here to ask me how my baby is doing.� Taylor sighed and sat back in the chair. �Why are you here?�
�Zac told me about how he wants you to see someone else after the baby�s born. How he�s not going to be there, and pretty much how he�s not going to be a part of her life, as much as he may want to.�
�I don�t understand why he�s doing this.�
�I don�t either.�
�We always told each other we would break up. We�ve always said I love you for now and in the future there�s a big chance that I won�t love you anymore.� Kris thought about it. �Do you think that�s the reason he�s saying all this stuff to me? Because he doesn�t love me anymore.�
�I�m sure he loves you a lot, Kris.�
�Then why the hell is he doing this to me?!� Kris yelled. When tears glossed over her eyes, Taylor wondered if she was having a mood swing or if she was truly upset enough to cry over it. �Before he found out I was pregnant, he told me �What if we never break up? What if we never find that other person and we end up wasting our lives together not married?� Then I found out I was pregnant and it all went downhill from there.�
�Kris, you�re going to have to talk to him. If you know him as well as you do and you don�t know why, there�s a big possibility that he doesn�t know either. But you have to talk to him and find out. You two always talk. You always ask each other questions when you don�t have all the answers.�
�I�m afraid to talk to him.�
�You�re gonna have to. If you don�t know, no one else does.� Kris sighed. �The reason I came over here was to tell you that if Zac leaves, I want to be with you.�
�What?�
�I know I�ve told you this before, but I guess I just want to tell you in person. I want to help you out. I want to be that other person that you go to. I want to be the other person that raises your child with you.�
�What about your career? If Zac can�t be around, neither can you!�
�Zac�s not in the band anymore. We have no band anymore. He hasn�t told you that?� Kris shook her head, shocked. �He�s a producer for Island Records. He makes twice as much money as he did with the band and he�s happier. Sure he doesn�t get to perform anymore, but he�s producing and writing songs for other artists.�
�How long has he been doing this?�
�Not long. He quit the band a few days after his birthday.�
�Is that why he�s gone all the time?�
�He just doesn�t live near you. He�s not gone. He�s in New York and LA all year long working in the studio for other people.�
�You mean to tell me he doesn�t travel around anymore, he stays in one place for extended periods of time?�
�He does travel, but not that often. He has an apartment in New York and he�s usually only in LA for a few days at a time so he gets a hotel room.�
�He has an apartment in New York?�
�Yes. He�ll be living there for at least 10 months out of the year.�
�I�m going to kill him. He had me thinking that he can�t raise this kid because he doesn�t have time and he is constantly travelling and doesn�t live anywhere!!� She put her hands over her face. �I�m so pissed I could cry.�
Taylor walked over, a little skeptical if he was being to close to her or not, and put his arm around her. She put her arms around his neck and her face into his chest, trying not to cry. It seemed all she did lately was cry.
After a lot of debating and deciding against it all, she started crying. �Oh, Kris, it�ll be okay,� Taylor whispered, and rubbed her back.
�He lied to me�� Her cries welled into sobs. �He�s never lied to me before, never! He always tells me the truth, no matter how much it may hurt, and I�ve always told him the truth. But lately I seem like I don�t know him anymore. I don�t understand why he has to start being different and turning into someone I can�t love at this time.�
�What are you saying?�
�I can�t be with him if he�s going to act like he is. If he can start lying to me, God knows what else he can do. Soon he�ll start seeing someone else when I�m not around and forget all about his girlfriend who�s going to have his child.�
�Kris, now you�re overreacting. Zac won�t do something like that.�
�I don�t know him anymore, so how the hell am I supposed to know if he�s still seeing me and only me.�
�Zac wouldn�t do that.�
�How do you know?�
�Because he knows more than anyone else that no matter how secretive you are, they always find out.� Kris shook her head, still crying into Taylor�s chest. �He won�t hurt you like that.�
�This Zac will.�
�He�s not going to change. He hates change more than anyone else. He�s going through a phase. He�s scared about this baby and he doesn�t know how to react. As much as he doesn�t look like it, and doesn�t act like it, he�s still a kid, Kris. He�s still eighteen.�
�I guess that�s true,� she said, and pushed herself away from Taylor. �But I�m still going to beat his ass when he gets back here.�
�Are you really going to do that?�
�I�ll have to find my bat, but I�ll do it alright.� Kris got up and opened her closet.
�Don�t tell me you�re actually going to do it, Kris.�
�No, I�m just kidding.� She closed the closet door and sat back down. �But I got you, didn�t I?� Taylor smiled.
�You know, you never did respond to my statement. About me taking care of your baby.� Kris sat back.
�I didn�t really want to answer. I don�t know if having you around would be a good thing�� She thought about it for a few moments. �But if Zac won�t do it, I�ll be glad to have you.�
Zac walked into Kris�s room, finding her sitting at her computer, doing absolutely nothing.
�Kris?�
�Go away,� she said, not bothering to look at him.
�Why? What�d I do?� She got up and walked to him, poking him the chest.
�You lied to me! You out-right, looking me in the eyes, smile on your face lied to me.� She yelled at him.
�How? When?�
�You told me you couldn�t stay and raise my baby with me because you didn�t have a steady home to raise her in. You said you traveled too much and that you�d never have time to be with her! That�s a lie!�
�What?�
�You have an apartment in New York and a job as a producer that will allow you to stay in one place for very long periods of time.�
�Who gave you that idea?�
�Your brother!�
�Taylor? When were you talking to Taylor? Certainly not here, I hope.�
�Yes, he was here. When you and Misty had your bonding time, he came over and he told me everything. Why would you even think about quitting the band and doing something else? I know it�s what you love to do. And why the hell didn�t you tell me?�
�I still wouldn�t be able to be with you. You�d be here in school and I�d be at my job in New York.�
�Zac, I�m quitting school.�
�Why?�
�I can�t be in school and raise her at the same time.�
�Kris, you just can�t quit school because of your baby. Misty�s staying with you and she doesn�t have classes the same time you do!�
�Misty isn�t her father. You are. You should be staying with her instead of running away and leaving me to raise her by myself.� It scared Zac to have her thinking this way. He wasn�t running away, that was the last thing he was doing. He was really just� just� he didn�t know what he was doing.
�I�ll have to think about this.�
�What is there to think about?� Kris yelled, to the point of crying. �Why should you think about what you�re going to do with your girlfriend and your baby. You already made a commitment to me, as much as you say you didn�t, you did! You did, and I cannot even believe you want to walk away.�
�It�s not that I want to, Kris, it�s that I have to.�
�Why?�
�Because.�
�You�re not giving me an answer! Whenever we bring this up, you always try to skirt the question, but I�m not going to let you do it this time. Why do you have to leave us alone?� Zac looked down at her, who looked back up at him. She had tears in her eyes, and she was fighting them back as best she could.
�Because I don�t know what I�m doing anymore.� She sat down on her bed, confused. �I don�t know what I�m doing, what I�m thinking. I�ve been skirting the issue for so long because I�m so damn confused right now that I can�t tell myself what I�m doing, much less tell you.�
�Well, you need to make a decision. Either you find out what you�re doing, or you need to leave. I am not going to stand around worrying myself to no end about this baby and whether or not you�re going to raise her.� She got up and walked to the door. �And if you do come to the conclusion that you are not going to stay with me, the person who will is Taylor.�
She walked out of the room and headed down the stairs. Zac, after letting it sink in a few moments, ran after her. �What the hell is that? Taylor? You are not having Taylor raise my kid,� he yelled after her. She stopped at the foot of the stairs and turned around to him.
�Taylor is ready to make the commitment you�re not. If you�re not doing this for me, he will. He knows I can�t do this myself, while you�re still not so sure. And if you leave, which I�m sure you�re so fucking scared of yourself right now that you will, he will raise my baby with me. He will adopt her as his own, and you won�t be shit to him.�
�How could you just say that? You know what that tells me? Right now you don�t give a damn about me. You could care less what I do, because you have the person you�ve always loved right there willing to hand you everything on a silver platter. Taylor just may be like that, I don�t know. But you�re telling me that I�m not a part of your life and I never was because you�ve always had someone else! I loved you! I had always loved you, and I�m sure I always will! But if you can just look me in the eyes and say that if I don�t make the right choice, you will dismiss any feelings you had for me.�
�No, that�s not it. That�s not it at all.�
�Then what is?�
�You�re being completely egotistical right now. You have to think about your career and your own sweet little life before your girlfriend and your daughter.�
�You cannot tell me who I am and what I�m doing. You don�t know me at all anymore!�
�And that�s what scares me the most. I used to know what you were thinking before you even thought of it. I knew you inside and out, more than��
�You knew yourself. I know the phrase.�
�I can�t believe you! I can�t believe how much of a bastard you are being to me right now.� He gave her a look, dismissing the insult like it didn�t bug him any. �I am so sick of you! I cannot believe I ever let myself love you. I so fucking hate you, Zachary.� She walked to the door and let herself out, slamming it behind her.
Zac ran over to the door and opened it. Kris was sitting in the chair, trying to cool off. �I hate you too, don�t worry about that. But you cannot just say that shit to me and run away.�
�Yes I can. Leave me alone.�
�If I leave, I�m not coming back.�
�Fine. Good riddance. We�re over.�
�Fine.� He went back inside and ran up the stairs.
In the kitchen, Misty looked up at Cynthia. They�d both done their best to ignore the fight, but they were just screaming so loud at each other that it was hard to block them out. �Oh my God,� Misty said. �I�ve never heard them fight like that before.�
�I�ve never known them to fight with each other.�
�Kris did tell me they�ve fought before, but not to the point of this. It�s pretty bad. I�m sure they�ve never said they�ve hated each other before.�
�No, they haven�t. At least not as heart-felt as that.� At that, Zac came down the stairs and passed by them with his suitcase. �What are you doing?�
�I�m leaving.�
�What? Why?� Misty asked.
�You actually expect me to spend a week with that bitch?� Zac said, turning to Misty and pointing to the front door. �I don�t think so.�
�You�re supposed to make up. I know you two, you can�t fight for very long.�
�There is no �you two� anymore. I never want to see that woman again. That�s it, we�re over, goodbye.� He ran out the door and left quickly. Misty looked back to Cynthia.
�Oh my God.� A few minutes later, Kris walked into the kitchen. �What was that?�
�He left, didn�t he?� she asked, as if she didn�t hear the question Misty asked.
�Yes, he left.�
�That boy is such a prick.� She opened the pantry and grabbed out the chips and the mustard. She sat down at the table and started to eat the chips, putting a dab on mustard on each one before putting it in her mouth. �I�m going to shoot him the next time I see him.�
�When will that be?�
�Hopefully never.�
�Kris!�
�What? I don�t give a damn anymore. We�re broken up, I don�t want to see him again. Simple as that.�
�Kris, you can�t just fight with the boy once and break up, hoping to never see each other again.�
�We�ve been having problems ever since we�ve found out we�re having a baby. It was inevitable that we were going to break up.� She continued, not letting her mother or Misty speak. �He changed, completely. He started lying to me, he�s avoiding staying with me after the baby is born, so if we were to just break up after she was born, there�s no harm in doing it now.�
�Yes there is, you�re just mad. You still love him, don�t you?�
�I try to convince myself that I do, but I don�t. He�s just a prick now.�
�You�ve mentioned that.�
�Remind me to call Taylor later.�
�Why?�
�Because now that Zac is gone, I need to tell Taylor that he�s going to be the one helping me out with this baby.�
�No, Kris,� Misty said, looking over to her. �You can�t just go from Zac to Taylor in a heartbeat.�
�I told you Zac doesn�t matter to me anymore!�
�After three years, boom, you�re broken up and you don�t give a damn anymore?�
�Exactly.�
�Kris, please. I don�t believe a word of it,� Misty said. �You�ll want him back by tomorrow.�
�How do you know?�
�When you get over your mood swing, you�ll see that you were just pissed off and you�ll be wanting him back. You might think of it tonight, when you have to sleep alone in your big bed. I�ll look over and you�ll still be crunched up on your side of the bed, against the wall, praying that he was there with you.�
�Misty, shut up.�
�I�m just telling you the truth.�
�I told you to shut up! I don�t need Zac anymore, alright? He can go and stay in his apartment in New York and forget all about me and his daughter, he can fuck as many girls as he wants, I don�t give a damn.� She bit her lip. �He can go out and live his life to the fullest and I�ll just stay in San Francisco and raise my baby and realize my life is over.�
�Kris��
�Leave me alone.�
She got up and walked out of the room, keeping her head down and her hand on her stomach.
Kris looked at the bare space next to her, around one in the morning that night. He wasn�t there. He was really gone, and he was really not coming back. She didn�t know where he went; if he went back to New York or if he was still in the city. But all she knew was that he wasn�t there next to her, and he wasn�t going to be.
She wondered if he was feeling the same way. With her luck, he�d already be in his bachelor pad with someone else, filling her spot on the bed. She wondered what her apartment looked like.
Thunder roared outside, another element keeping her awake. Lightning lit up the room, lighting the mess that she wasn�t about to pick up anytime soon. When it lit again, she saw a flash of her face in the mirror. She looked horrible, the same way she felt. The empty space next to her just seemed to get larger and larger as she grew more and more tired. Sleep wouldn�t come for a while, she could feel it.
She knew Taylor was in town, before he�d left he�d given her the address of his hotel. She sat on the edge of the bed before slowly pulling herself up. She stood sideways in front of the mirror, putting her hand on her stomach. She was getting so big; she could barely imagine herself when she was full term and ready to pop.
This was probably all a mistake. Thinking that Zac would ever come back for her. She could just go to Taylor, be fine with him until she decided if this was it. For all she knew, Zac was feeling as bad as she was. But that was highly doubtful. Taylor was ready from the moment she met him to spend the rest of his life with her, that obsession had just consumed him more and more with each passing day.
But at least Taylor was going to be there with her. Zac had run away.
But Zac was better with her than Taylor had ever been.
But Zac ran away.
Shit.
She grabbed her coat and walked out of the room. She peered in Misty�s room; she was sleeping peacefully. Kris walked silently over to her mother�s room. Her and David too were sleeping peacefully. Kris walked to the stairs and with the help of the handrail, descended them. Lightning struck in the distance, lighting her sullen face, then a loud roar of thunder penetrated her ears.
The rain had begun to fall as she was checking on the other people of the house, and was falling hard. Another flash of lightning showed her that the trees were leaning east in a powerful wind. She didn�t want to go out in that, but she didn�t want to be alone anymore. She grabbed her keys from the table and unlocked the front door.
She opened the front door as lightning flashed, revealing a soaked man in front of her. She jumped back in fear, until she made out his face.
�Zac��
�Don�t say anything,� he whispered. She threw her arms around him, beginning to cry. �I want to be with you. I don�t want to leave you alone.�
�But��
�Move to New York with me. Stay with me. We�ll get married, we�ll raise our baby together, and we�ll live happily ever after.�
�Okay��