It was a good two weeks before anything exciting happened. Night after night Zac and I made fools out of each other during the show, him getting me more than I got him only because he had more authority than I did. Taylor and Isaac were getting annoyed by it, but I told them they�d have to handle it.
Zac and I were sitting in the bed we shared in Oklahoma City. �You know we�re going to Tulsa tomorrow,� Zac said to me.
�Yeah.�
�Do you know what�s in Tulsa?� he asked. I thought about it. It must be something significant, otherwise he wouldn�t have mentioned it.
�Um, no, sorry.�
�I live in Tulsa!�
�Oh!� I said, turning to him. �I�m sorry, I wasn�t thinking that way.�
�No, you just weren�t thinking.� I gave him a look. He crossed his eyes, puffed out his cheeks and pulled out his ears. It sent me into a fit of giggles, which only heightened when he began to tickle me.
�Zac! Stop!�
�You�re an airhead, you deserve it.�
�I�m not an airhead,� I said, forcing his hands away from me. He stuck out his tongue at me.
�You know, when we get to Tulsa, my family�s joining the party.�
�So what does that mean?�
�It means that I have to actually start being nice to people, no one will be getting high anymore, and I will have to go through a fate worse than death.�
�What�s that?�
�I have to share a room with my brothers. I will most likely be sharing a bed with Taylor.�
�That�s going to hurt.�
�We won�t be fighting anymore, which is actually a good thing, but the only reason why is because we can�t let our parents know we despise each other.�
�How long will your parents be around?� I asked.
�All through Europe. Until the end of the tour.�
�How long is that?�
�A month.� I sighed and let myself fall onto his chest. �You�re going to have to be in the girls� room.�
�Oh no I�m not. I�ll sleep in the hallway.�
�It won�t be as bad as your think, Nic. They�re not all bad people; you can stay with Darling. She�s been with Isaac all this time so you two can be the foreigners.�
�Amber�s going to be a bitch to me, Zac!�
�More so than usual,� he retorted. �She�ll have to tolerate you and won�t have the drugs to get away from it all.�
�That makes me feel so much better, Zac. Thank you,� I told him, and turned away.
�I�m sorry.�
�No you�re not.�
�I am! Listen, I�ll do what I can to get you out of it. When Taylor and Ike are dying for some kind of drug, I�m sure I�ll be able to con them into letting you in the room.�
�But, until then��
�It�ll be two days at the most.� I turned back to him.
�Oh really? They�re that addicted?�
�Everyone is. I still am, I�m just getting off it. It�s the easiest habit to get into and the worst to get off of.� I knew he was going through a lot. He was suffering, openly, just about every day. The past two weeks I kept my eye on him when I could, noticeably seeing how he tried other things to get that addiction out of him. I noticed he smoked cigarettes more, which I said he could still do. I knew he was having trouble all the time, I could see it in him. He didn�t want to admit it, I�m sure, but he was really suffering.
�You�re still?�
�Very much so. But I�ve got a reason to quit. It�s you. Trust me, I�ve barely done anything since I met you.�
�But you�ve done something?�
�Are you mad at me?� he sheepishly asked. �I�m sorry.�
�Don�t be. I�m not mad at all. I knew you were going to do some, I just never knew you did anything. It�s alright to lessen up before you quit. I know you can�t do it cold turkey.�
�That�s the problem. I did it so much and for so long that it�s hard to tell whether or not I�m on it. That�s why you haven�t been able to tell.�
�Well with everyone else it�s impossible to tell unless you see them with it.�
�Why are you so against it?� Zac asked me. �I mean, I completely understand that you�re against drugs, but why?�
�Were not going to get into that right now.� I pulled the covers over my head. �Goodnight.�
�No, you�re going to tell me, because it�s obviously something now.� He pulled the covers down from my face to my chin. I grimly looked at him. �Please.�
�Zac, I�m too tired to get into it. I�m going to sleep. Goodnight.� I pulled the covers back up and turned away from him. I could still feel his gaze. His hand around my waist made me face him again.
�Come on! I tell you everything about me; I have absolutely no secrets from you. I�ve told you everything, even the embarrassing stuff. Tell me.�
�I don�t know if I should. Darling doesn�t even know. I�ve never really told anyone this before. The only people that know are the people that were there.�
�It�s only me,� he reassured me. I looked up at him, his caramel eyes once again pleading with me. I turned away again. �Nic, honey, come on.�
�I had a problem okay? I had a big problem. With drugs.�
�You? But you come across as so wholesome��
�I�m nowhere near as wholesome as I�ve seemed. I�m sorry to be misleading, but I�m not as goodie-goodie as you think.�
�But you said you�ve never done anything before.� I huffed.
�Come on, like I was going to tell you that I had a drug problem when I barely knew you at all. And it was really bad.�
�How bad is bad?� Zac asked.
�Enough to stick me in a clinic for six months.� I looked back at him. The look of shock on his face was extremely prominent, making it obvious he wasn�t trying to hide it. �Yeah. That happened. Hard to believe, huh? Sweet, innocent Nic once had a drug problem.�
�I would have never guessed it.�
�Exactly. That�s how I wanted it. I didn�t want people to know, cause it was so hard to get over That�s why I don�t want you to go through this.�
�That�s why I�m quitting.� I smiled and laid back.
�I�m glad. You don�t want the kind of pain I went through.� I reached down and took his hand.
�If I ask you something, promise you won�t go off on it?�
�It depends on what it is,� Zac told me. I thought about it, and decided I should try it anyway.
�You know I love you, right?�
�Yeah��
�And you love me,� I said.
�Yeah�
� �And we clicked right from the start.�
�Yeah, what are you getting at?� I grinned (He must have spiked my dinner or something, because I would never in my right mind have done this) and moved my lips to his ear.
�Make love to me.�
I saw his eye widen and he turned to me. �What?�
�You heard me.� I sat back and looked straight in his eyes. �I�m serious here. I love you a lot and I want to do this with you.�
�Are you sure? Because I don�t want you to regret this later.�
�No, I�ve been thinking this over for a while now. And since we won�t exactly have our privacy anymore, now would be a considerable time. The rest of the time I�m here we�d have to find somewhere else to do it, and I don�t want to end up doing you in a closet or something.�
�As long as you�re sure. I don�t want to do anything you don�t want to.�
�Zac��
�Yes?�
�Just shut up and fuck me.� He grinned.
�Now that�s the girl I know,� he whispered.
I squeezed Zac�s hand as two older people with a smile of their face walked up to us. I saw Zac slightly stiffen as his parents approached.
�Well, who is this?� the woman asked, looking over at me. I smiled.
�Mom, Dad, this is Nicole King. She�s a friend of Darling.� The woman nodded.
�Oh, well hello. I�m Diana Hanson, this is my husband, Walker. You can be just like everyone else and call us Mom and Dad.�
�Alright,� I said. �It�ll take me a while to get used to it, but alright.�
�It�s usual, Nic,� Zac reassured me. I smiled at him, and looked back to Zac�s parents�Mom and Dad. I�d never met people so inviting before. They were so nice and welcomed me with open arms, just because.
�Are you two dating?� Mom asked.
�Mo-om.�
�Well?�
�Yes we are,� I said, laughing slightly at Zac�s embarrassment. �Watch this,� I said to Mom and Dad, Zac too embarrassed to hear. I pinched Zac�s cheeks. �Oh sweetie you are just so cute, I just want to eat you up!� I kissed him.
�Ahh!� Zac yelled, hiding his blushing face. I burst out laughing, causing a smile to break out on Mom and Dad�s faces. �That was mean.�
�I know,� I said, smiling. �I could have done worse.� I turned to Mom and Dad. �Did you hear what he did to me in Louisville?�
�Zac, what did you do?� Dad asked. �He does have a tendency to do strange things.�
�He hung me from the roof of the theatre by my hair!�
�You had other wires, don�t go saying it was by your hair,� Zac said.
�Three very thin wires that had the possibility of breaking.�
It was then when Taylor walked up. �Hi Mom, hi Dad. I see you�ve met Nic.� I looked at Taylor. I didn�t know he knew my name. He probably asked Darling before he came over.
�How are you boys doing? You getting along?� Dad asked.
�Of course,� Taylor said, putting his arm around Zac�s shoulders. �We couldn�t be better if we were on drugs.� The family laughed, Zac stepping on my foot so I would laugh too. I notice when Mom and Dad weren�t looking, Taylor either sniffed and rubbed his nose or gave Zac a dirty look. But when they were paying attention, Taylor had his plastic smile and a fake twinkle in his eyes. I must admit I was genuinely surprised at how well he could pull it off; Zac later mentioned he had years of practice.
�Where Isaac?� Mom asked.
�He�s off with Darling somewhere,� Taylor said. �They�re around. If I see him, I�ll tell him you�re looking for him.�
�Alright.� Taylor took that as a cue to leave, and walked away.
�So, where are the girls?� Mom asked, glancing around. �I�d like to say hello to them.�
�They�re around,� Zac said. �Actually, I think the majority of them are over by the bus. You can go look if you want to.�
�Okay,� Mom said. She hugged Zac. �Oh I missed you so much! I hate being away from you boys for so long.�
�I missed you too, Mom.� Mom and Dad walked towards the bus. Zac groaned and fell into a seat, taking me with him.
�They seem nice enough.�
�They are. They�re the nicest people you�ll ever meet. They�re absolutely horrible if they catch you doing something wrong. It�s just they don�t know us at all.�
�Well you can pull that nice act pretty good, Zac. It�ll be fun to watch you be tolerant these next few weeks.�
�There�s just one big problem with Mom.�
�What�s that?�
�She loves Amber.� I didn�t think it was possible, but that�s what he said. �She loves Amber to no end. I can�t believe it.�
�I�ll have to deal with that.�
�We all do. She�ll mention it to you a few times. �I like that Amber girl. She�s just a great young woman.� If she only knew.�
�If she only know what everyone was really like.� I pressed my forehead against his, looking in his eyes.
I don�t regret the sex. At all. If it did anything to us as a couple, it made us closer. I didn�t expect it to, but it did. I don�t know, maybe it was just the way he was awkward about it. He was constantly worried, constantly saying �Just let me now if I hurt you� and �Are you okay?� It seems annoying, but it was made me giggle every time. He was amazed to find out I wanted to do it again the next night (he talked me out of it, though).
�Can I ask you something?� Zac asked.
�You just did.� He gave me a look. �Yeah, go ahead.�
�How long has it been since you�ve been off drugs.�
�Two years.�
�Do you still get cravings?�
�All the time. Not as much as I did back then, but I still do. And now that I�m being exposed to it again, every time I see someone with one I just want to go back to my old life and take a hit.�
�How come you told me and led me on that you didn�t do anything?�
�I think that�s more than just asking me something. That�s three questions. I think we should be moving on now,� I said.
�No, tell me.�
�I guess I didn�t want you thinking less of me because I had such a big problem. You kept saying you liked me because I was different than the rest of them, but I�m not any different, Zac.�
�Yes you are. You�re different now. You�re smarter than them. You really understand what can happen to people and you�ve learned from that. Listen, Nic, I don�t love you any less because of the person you once were, alright? I love you for who you are now and what you are now. Nothing before matters.�
�Are you so sure about that?�
�Do you love me any less because I had a drug problem?�
�Yes.� �What?!�
�I�m kidding,� I said, grinning. �I like your reactions. No, I don�t love you any less.�
�Then why would I love you any less?�
�Because you�re a guy and guys suck.�
�I�m sure that�s the reason why every girl in the world is messed up, right?�
�Of course!�
�Of course.�
�Hey Zac! Stop running your mouth and get over here! We�re not going anywhere until you�re on the bus!� Taylor yelled from across the room.
�Taylor, that was rude!� Mom scolded. Taylor sheepishly turned away and ran onto the bus. As we got up, we saw Darling and Isaac walking to the tour bus. Darling gave Mom and Dad a hug, while Isaac only said hello. The boys, as much as they respected their parents, didn�t seem to like them too much. They said hello, but didn�t willingly give out guys, or mention anything of substance to them. It really made me wonder.
Mom and Dad covered any hurt by this very well. I knew they were hurt. Their three boys hadn�t seen them in months and barely gave them a hello. That must have been where the boys got their emotional control. They could hide any emotion that they didn�t want everyone else to see.
Zac and I got on the bus, where his little sister greeted Zac. He smiled. �Hey kid! I missed you!� Zac said, picking the child up and then falling onto the sofa. �Oh God you�re getting big!�
�Watch your language,� Mom said, surprising me. Not only was the woman extra nice, she was religious too.
�Sorry, Mom,� Zac said, then threw his sister in the air. �Where have you been all this time? I don�t know how I survived without you.�
�You�re silly, Zakky,� the cute little girl said.
�So you can call him Zakky?� I asked her.
�Only I can call him Zakky,� she said. "Just me and Auntie Michelle." I grinned and sat down next to Zac.
�What�s your name?� I asked her.
�Zo�. What�s yours?�
�I�m Nic. How old are you, Zo�?�
�I�m four!� the little girl said, but only held up three fingers. Zac laughed and corrected her.
�No, kid, that�s only three fingers,� he said, and put up another one of her tiny fingers. �That�s four.�
�Oh,� she said, looking at her fingers. �Why?�
�Because that�s the way I was taught. Now I know you really want to go attach yourself to Taylor, right?�
Zo� shook her head. �Taylor�s mean.�
�Really? What�d he do this time?� Zac asked.
�He called me something bad.�
�What?�
�I can�t say; it�s a bad word!�
�It�s okay if you whisper it to me, just this once.� Zo� nodded and whispered something into Zac�s ear. His eyes widened and he put Zo� on the ground. �That was bad. Listen, sweetie, you go find Darling and Ike. Nic and I have to have a talk with Taylor.�
�Alright.� She ran off to find them while Zac grabbed my hand and we found Taylor towards the back of the bus, making out with Amber.
�May I remind you Zo� is running around here,� Zac sternly said, breaking the two of them apart.
�What do you want?� Taylor asked.
�Zo� just told me you called her a fucking whore.�
�You actually believe something Zo� says?� Taylor asked, straightening out his hair and looking into a mirror on the side wall.
�I believe her over you. Taylor, I cannot comprehend why you said that to her. You must be coming off a high because that�s the only time you would say something like that to her. She�s four!�
�What does it matter anyway?�
�She�s afraid of you now, Taylor. I know she won�t want to go near you.�
�Good. It�ll get a snitch off my back. Now if I could only get rid of you.�
�Jonathan, you need to go apologize to her right now.�
�I�m not going to apologize to a four-year-old, Zac! That�s bullshit! She�ll forget about it by tomorrow.�
�No, you�ll forget about it by tomorrow. I can�t believe you were on anything to begin with while you know Mom and Dad are right around the corner! You need to get everything you have before we start moving.�
�Zac, I�m not going to take any orders from you. You don�t know anything, you�re not worth anything, the only good thing you can do is get out of my fucking way so I can do something that�s actually constructive.�
�What is that? Try to make yourself look halfway decent? Look good for your admiring public to go to your room and fuck Amber who you think you love and think she loves you back when she�s slept with every bellhop on the tour.�
�Zac!� Amber yelled.
�You did what?!� Jonathan yelled at Amber, his anger towards her now and not Zac.
�Let�s leave,� Zac said. We walked away from the back room and to the front of the bus, the sound of Taylor screaming his head off at Amber.
�Is everything alright in there?� Mom asked.
�Amber and Jonathan are just having a little tiff,� I said.
�I can�t I ever fucking let you sleep with me�!!!!� I quickly shut the door.
�Just give them some time to cool off, I�m sure they�ll be alright,� I said. Mom nodded.
�Is Zo� in there? I don�t want her to be in there if they�re fighting.�
�No, she�s with Darling and Isaac over by the other bus,� I said, spotting Darling with Zo� on her hip.
�Well, you�re going to have to tell them to solve their problem later,� Mom said, regretfully. �I hate doing that, but we need to get going.�
�Okay, Mom.�
But we both knew they weren�t going to stop fighting anytime soon.