Zac and I left the girls’ room, heading back to his room. Before we got there, he turned back to me. “You want to do something fun?”
“Yeah. It’s called sleep. You have no idea how fun that is!” He started pushing me back to the elevators. “Zac! I’m tired!”
“No, you’ll like this. Taylor knows a guy with a convertible, we can go for a ride.”
“You guys know everyone with a car. Why don’t you just drive yourselves everywhere? It’ll be so much easier. But no, we gotta know everyone and take their cars and la de da de da. I want to go to sleep. And it’s cold outside!”
“Don’t be such a party pooper.”
“There’s no party!”
“Just come on. You never want to do anything and you always like it when we actually do it.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. How long do you think we’ll be gone?”
“If you keep complaining, I’ll make sure to say out all night. If you just shut up and trust me, we’ll be back in time for you to still have a good night’s sleep.”
“What’s your definition of a good night’s sleep?”
“Just go.” I groaned and walked to the elevator. “You’ll love it. I promise.”
“Where do we have to go to get the car?”
“It’s out in the lot.”
“Do you have the keys?”
“No we’re going to hot-wire the car and high-tail it out of here!” he told me. “Yeah, I snatched them from Taylor when he stopped by.”
“You’re so evil.”
“At least I didn’t try to take advantage of his stupidity again.”
“That’s true.” He took me to the ground floor and out to the parking lot. He found the blue convertible rather quickly, and opened my door for me.
“Yeah, you gotta stop doing that.”
“Why? I’m trying to be gentlemanly.”
“Sure,” I said. “You’re a grade A gentleman, Zac. In the middle of insulting everyone and being high you take the time to open my door for me.”
“Hey, I don’t do that anymore!”
“I forgot. I’m sorry, honey. Now where are we going?” I asked, climbing into the car. He shut the door and went over to his seat, not saying anything. “Zac!”
“Yes honey?” he asked, sweetly.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see. God, you’re impatient, Nic. But you’ll love it.” I sat back and waited to get wherever we were going. “Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
“Zac, I’ll fall asleep!”
“I’ll put on some music.” Zac turned on the radio and some loud, unclear shit filled my ears.
“The French got some bad taste in music,” I said.
“Yeah, they do.”
“I mean, they liked your stuff, don’t they?” I joked, smiling. I closed my eyes, waiting for a smack on my arm from Zac. When he didn’t, and he didn’t say anything, I grew worried. “You know I was joking, right?”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Zac, I was kidding.”
“Yeah, and I said whatever!”
“Oh God you are so uptight! I was kidding; if I knew you were going to act like this I wouldn’t have said it.”
“Just shut up.” I leaned my head against the door; my eyes still closed and let the chilly night air flip through my hair. The music was the only thing keeping me awake—it was too annoying to not get to me.
“Turn the music off, I’ll stay awake.” Zac shut off the music immediately. I wanted to complain, but for some reason Zac had really taken offense from my comment. I didn’t want to upset him further.
I took note of every turn we made. I knew the city better than he thought, and I could tell we were heading to the tiny roads along the vineyards. We rode in quiet for a while; I knew he was taking his time. He was going to make me suffer, I knew it. “Are we there yet?” I asked.
“Don’t even start. We’re almost there.”
“Can I open my eyes yet?” I asked.
“Not until we get there.” I groaned and sat back. I had no idea why we were going, there was absolutely nothing to do out here but drive.
“Alright, open your eyes.” He didn’t stop the car. I looked out the side of the car. We were passing by an endless vineyard below us. All I could see as I looked out was the endless rows of grapevines, stretching to meet the horizon of a perfect night. The stars scattered like bright diamonds. It was quickly looking like a heaven on earth.
“Oh my God,” I whispered. It was absolutely the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I put my hand out and let the breeze we were creating drift my hand back and forth. All the night was blurring into one beautiful image before me, as a result of how high I was.
“I knew you would like it.”
“Zac, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”
“And you didn’t want to come. Typical Nicole reaction.”
“Shut up. I’m having a peaceful moment,” I said. “Can we stay here all night?”
“It’ll be pretty uncomfortable sleeping in the car, and I’m sure Mom will have my head if we’re gone all night.”
“Yeah, but can we stay for a while? This is really nice.”
“Well that was the intention, honey,” Zac said. He stopped the car and shut off the ignition. “Come here.” I moved over and leaned in his arms, looking up at the sky. Everything was just so beautiful.
“Babe, you never cease to amaze me,” I said. “Just when I think you’re losing your romantic side, you take me here.”
“Really? I have a romantic side now?”
“Zac! You took me to a park! There’s nothing more romantic than that. Well, until now. My God I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
“It just makes me wonder what’s next.” He grinned and grabbed a tape that was on the floor and put it in the tape player.
“This.” He turned up the radio. I heard a start of a guitar and the beginning of Zac’s crooning voice.
It’s late in the evening
She’s wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her makeup
And brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me
Do I look alright?
And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight
We got to a party
And everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady
Who’s walking around with me
And then she asks me
Do you feel alright?
And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight
I feel wonderful because I see
The love right in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don’t realize
How much I love you
It’s time to go home now
And I’ve got an aching head
So I give her the car keys
And she helps me to bed
And then I tell her
As I put out the light
I say my darling you were wonderful tonight
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight
Yeah, I cried.
“Nic! You’re not supposed to cry! You’re supposed to go ‘Oh my God that was so beautiful’ and kiss me and the world would be happy.”
“It’s because it was so beautiful that I’m crying.”
“I never pictured you as much of a sap.”
“Well, you learn something new every day.”
“A hundred left hand people die every year by using product made for right handed people.”
“I guess that’s my new fact for the day.”
“I’m left handed.”
“I figured that out when I saw you writing.”
“Well then that was your new fact for today. This one can be for tomorrow.”
“Alright.”
“You tired?” I nodded. “You want to go back to the hotel? We’re fresh out of romantic things now.”
“No moonlit picnic?”
“Sorry.”
“Damn.”
“Maybe next time. I just didn’t think about food right now. I had the setting, I had the table, I had you…everything was just fine and dandy.”
“Yes, it was very beautiful, Zac. Thank you. I’ve never seen vineyards like this.”
“That’s why I was hoping for. See you never bothered to tell me you once lived here!”
“I’m sorry, we never got into that.” He started up the car and headed back to the hotel. “I was eleven, and it was only for a year.”
“Didn’t you go in the clinic when you were thirteen?”
“Yeah. I started the drugs when I was over here but it only heightened when I went back home. It was really easy to get into the wrong crowd.”
“Tell me about it.”
“So what do you think of us? Two once drug-crazed kids who’ve lived a thousand years and know what hell can really be like.”
“I say we’ve made it out on top.” My stomach turned in guilt. He was making it out on top. I was back in the bottom of it all.
“Yeah. I guess we have.”
If only that were true.
Zac and I drove around for a little while before actually returning to the hotel. It was nearing one in the morning; we were both dead exhausted and ready to just for onto a bed and sleep for a year or two. We got to the room and found Isaac still awake and at the table. Taylor looked long gone, sprawled out on one side of a bed, his mouth open wide with definite signs of drool. Unfortunately, for my pounding head, he was snoring like no tomorrow.
“Dear Lord, can’t you turn him over or something?” I muttered and put a pillow over my head. I hadn’t even bothered to take off my coat or my shoes; I’d be just fine sleeping like this.
“I tried. He won’t budge,” Isaac said.
“Then stuff a sock in his mouth. My head is killing me and he’s not fucking helping!” I’m a bitch when I’m coming off a high, aren’t I?
“Someone’s cranky,” Isaac said.
“Oh fuck you.”
“Nic, be nice,” Zac said from the bathroom. I looked at him as he began to brush his teeth.
“Oh sure! You can be an ass to him but one time I am, I’m told to ‘be nice.’ Well I don’t want to be nice! I just want some sleep.” And a little more LSD, my thoughts added.
“Nic, honey, take off your shoes and your coat and go to sleep. We’ll wake you up last in the morning,” Zac reasoned. I had to smile. Usually I was the other way around. I’m being the voice of reason when he’s being a bitch to the entire world. I grumbled anyway, and took of my shoes. I put my coat on a chair and the shoes under them—I’d wonder where they were when the morning comes.
“I have a question, Nic,” Isaac said. I looked over at him. “Are you coming off a high?”
“Why would you think that?” I asked, always the expert of being confused.
“Well I know both Amber and Darling get bitchy like that when they’re coming off a high.”
“Ike, Nic doesn’t do that, remember? She’s not a drug person.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot. Sorry,” Matt said to me. I looked at both of them, wide-eyed.
“Wait a minute! You two just exchanged civilized words! There was no nastiness, there was no evil looks or implied insults…what happened?”
“There was nothing to be nasty about,” Zac said. I nodded.
“I don’t have a toothbrush,” I said. “And I am not about go to sleep without brushing my teeth. I’ll be right back.” I left the room and went down the hall to the girl’s room. I went quietly inside and found Amber and Darling still awake.
“Settle your differences?” I asked. Amber had a nasty bruise forming. That’d be real ugly when the morning came.
“Pretty much,” Darling said.
“Good. Smoking?” I asked.
“No, snorting. Smoking takes too long to prepare. This is some real good stuff.”
“I’m so desperate for anything right now…it’s not cocaine, is it?” I asked. If it was, I knew I wouldn’t take it and I’d just suffer all night.
“No.”
“Good.” I don’t know why I did it. I can’t even believe I did it. I knew I could hold it, I wouldn’t act weird, and it’d make me feel better until the morning came and I could go back to LSD and not worry about anything hard core like this. But that stuff was really good. I don’t know what it was; I knew I’d done it enough before to handle it. It was familiar, I just couldn’t concentrate enough on what it was to really care. And since the stuff was so good, I found myself taking in a lot. I mean a lot of it was in my system.
Realizing I’d spent a long time in there, I searched around for my bag. It was hard to concentrate and think on the inside, but on the outside I reacted and held myself like a clean person. “Dudes, have you seen my bag? I really need my toothbrush.”
“Just use mine,” Darling said. “I’ll get it in the morning.”
“You actually think I’d use your toothbrush, Darling?”
“You’ve done it before.”
“True…fine, where is it?”
“It’s the green on in the bathroom.” I walked in the bathroom.
“Darling, they’re all green!”
“Oh, then just grab one cause I’m not getting up to point it out for you.” I groaned and grabbed one of the toothbrushes. I went back to her.
“Is this it?”
“Probably.”
“You need to start thinking straight.”
“Well you need to learn where you put your shit so you don’t have to worry about whose thing you’re using.” Darling suddenly burst out laughing.
“Yeah, you need to learn how to hold your drugs, Darling.” I walked out of the room and went into the boys’ room again.
“What took you so long?” Zac asked. He was in bed, waiting for me. I saw his notebook in his lap and a pencil in his hand. Isaac had gone to sleep already, and was long gone. How long was I in there?
“I couldn’t find my bag! Darling must have hid it or something. I searched the place up and down I finally gave up and stole her toothbrush. Well, I think its hers.”
“Ew.”
“Whatever.” I went into the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face. I put Darling’s (I think it was Darling’s) toothbrush down and went back to bed.
I climbed on top of Zac and looked straight into his eyes. “I love you,” I said.
“I love you too.”
“I just really wanted you to know that.” He nodded.
“Well you seem to be in a much better mood. Tell me, what did you really do over there?”
“Smoked some weed, screwed a few guys, went to Heaven and back. Didn’t find my toothbrush.”
“Cute.”
“I know I am.” I kissed him and climbed over to my side of the bed. I got under the covers and realized the light was on. “Zac, honey, could you turn the light off?” I sweetly asked, looking up at him and batting my eyelashes.
“Fine.” He got out of the bed.
“You’re so good to me.”
“Shut up.” He turned out the light and came back to the bd. When he got under the covers again, I cuddled up to him.
“So Darling and Amber are back to being lifelong chums again. I had a feeling that fight wouldn’t last long.”
“Yeah, well, give them some drugs and sit them on the floor and they’ll be fine in no time, no matter how severe the fight was.” Zac lightly ran his fingers through my hair. I always loved it when he did that. And he did it subconsciously; he never realized how much it made me tingle inside. He did a lot of things like that. I’d nearly fallen asleep when he began to talk again.
“So how come you’re so pleasant now?” he asked.
“Taylor stopped snoring,” I sleepily said.
“No he didn’t. And now he’s got Ike to join him.”
“Well I’m not noticing it as much anymore. Maybe because they’re asleep and it’s just you and me.”
“Oh.”
“Or maybe it was that sedative I took.”
“You gotta stop joking about that, hun. Soon I’ll start thinking you really are going back to drugs.”
“You know I wouldn’t do that,” I said, more of a whisper into his chest. He needed to stop stroking my hair or I’d just fall asleep in the middle of the conversation.
“Yeah, I know.”
“So, honey, you have nothing to worry about.”
“When did we enter the ‘honey’ stage of our relationship?”
“When I started getting tired of calling you the same thing everyone else in the world is calling you. And since you refuse on letting me call you Zakky.”
“No Zakky.”
“Why not?”
“Amber used to call me Zakky.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s alright. I just have a big fear of this relationship turning out like that one.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I want to be with you and only you. I’m nothing like you.” But actually, Amber and I had more in common than I thought.