Taking Chances
chapter 3
by Ritz
Kurama--"A Month of Waiting"
Ritz's note: *smiles* Well, I know you want to get on to the story so I'll make this short and sweet. I do not own these two adorable characters. They rightfully belong to Togashi-sama. *sighs* Oh well. At least I get to play with them. *evil grin*
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I shut the door to the bathroom and leaned heavily against it. Rubbing my forehead with my palm, I sighed. I usually loved hanging around my friends but right now, I really needed some peace and quiet. Another sigh escaped my lips as I pushed myself off the door and examined myself in the mirror.
I drew back in shock at my reflection. Gods, did I really lose that much weight? I wondered, touching my cheek. I didn't realize that I had become so thin. But then, I thought ruefully, I haven't noticed much since that night. The night of Yuusuke and Keiko's engagement party. The night I told Hiei my true feelings. The night Hiei left.
I haven't seen Hiei since that night, I thought with a heavy heart, and it's already been a month. A month! A month where I passed through life in an absolute daze. I didn't have the energy to do anything, I didn't WANT to do anything. My tormented mind kept on replaying the scene over and over, wondering if I had blown it for good, wondering if I shouldn't have said anything, wondering if I should have just acted on my desires and kissed the irresistible infuriating fire demon right then and there. I was unkept all the time, my hair tangled and clothes wrinkled. There were dark bags under my puffy eyes, the aftermath of the many nights where I had cried myself to sleep. I touched my eyes gingerly, noting that it was puffy even now.
I was too weary to smile, too tired to even eat or talk but I knew I had to force some normalacy in front of okassan and my friends so I ran through the functions of my life like a robot, talking when I was talked to and smiling occasionally, even though smiling was an effort. I buried myself in work, hoping that I would forget. Hoping that I could just wipe the face of a certain red-eyed fire demon from my heart and from my mind. But I never have and I know I'll never be able to. I love Hiei too much to forget...
"Hiei..." I whispered out-loud, "I have to know how you feel about me, Hiei. I can't take much more of this torture. I need to know if you're still--" My voice cracked at the word, "my friend."
That's what I feared the most. That on the night of the confession, I had lost him. That I had nothing left of him. Not even his friendship to comfort myself with.
Stupid cold youkai, I thought sullenly. Most people and most youkai wouldn't have believed their luck if they knew that they had my love. But not Hiei. He bolted when he was aware of my true feelings for him. He couldn't WAIT to get away from me, I thought sadly, and I've never seen him since.
Except now. Maybe. Hopefully.
Kuwabara had finally gathered the nerve to propose to Yukina and was rewarded with a fiancee in return. We had gathered together at Kuwabara's house to celebrate their engagement. Koenma had sent Hiei word of the celebration and I hoped that Hiei would show up.
He...should, I thought. After all, Yukina is his beloved imouto. But then, I know he's not too thrilled of the idea of his imouto marrying Kuwabara. Ha. That was an understatement. Hiei would probably be ready to kill Kuwabara on sight, I thought ruefully, the thought causing the corners of my mouth to lift up in a small smile.
Maybe that's why he isn't here yet, I concluded. And I had wanted to look so nice for him, I thought sadly as I stared at myself in the mirror, but it looks like Hiei would rather stay away then see his sister with Kuwabara. And now all my effort is pointless. My shoulders slumped slightly and I ran a hand through my hair. A simple gesture, but one that comforted me in times of unhappiness.
"Che kitsune, still as vain as ever, aren't you?"
I froze at the voice, felt the familiar dark youki, and a chill of excitement coursed through me. Could it be? I thought, anxiously. Looking in the mirror, I averted my eyes to the small dark figure in the reflection. He sat crouched on the window sill behind me. A bright smile lit up my face and I turned to face him.
"Hiei!"
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Ritz ^.~ June 16-17, 1998
