| Timmy and the Pez King PG due to graphic content Once upon a time there was a cute, little chimp who lived in Africa. His name was Timmy. He was attacked and eaten alive by a herd of lions. There was also a boy named Timmy who lived in the mountains. His life was so boring that his only joy in life was collecting Pez dispensers. They gave him great joy and something to fill his stomach with. On the day of his 1000th Pez dispenser, he was abducted by giant rectangular spaceships that looked very similar to the Pez candies. The creatures of the ship were called Pezasoids (dog sized dispensers). They cut Timmy open, filled him with grape Pez (his least favorite flavor). They also stuck a tracking device inside him, then they sewed him back up and sent him to Earth without any dinner. When Timmy got back to his planet he wasn't felling so good (because you aren't supposed to eat candy before dinner). He walked toward his house, passing a chimpanzee carcass, until he got to his home. He went inside to check his Pez collection, but all 1000 pez dispensers valued at over $15,000.20 were gone. "How could this happen?" he said. "It must have been the Pez King who stole back the eggs of his people so he can raise a super bred of candy dispensers capable of anialating the continent of North America. Either that, or he just likes to collect things too." Timmy set off immediately to NASA. He rented a spaceship for the day and used a Lazo-matic 5002 54th edition, model #8.2 to destroy the Pez Mother Ship. It went up in flames......and so did his Pez collection. He cried and returned home again. When he got back, he found his collection in its place again. His mom had just dusted them. That means he destroyed an entire civilization for no reason. Oh well, nobody's perfect. |
| Timmy: The Tequel proving once again that sequels suck After his last adventure, Timmy wasn�t felling so good. He spent two weeks in the hospital while doctors removed the Pez from his body and filled him with any organs they had around. When he was awake, he found out that he had super powers. He could see through Pez dispensers, obviously. In two weeks, he got home and could not enjoy his Pez dispenser collection because all he could see were Pez candies stacked up. Just then his Aunt Herbert came to town. She was obsessed with destroying his collection so that he would start collecting dead gold fish. She knocked on the door and when he opened it, his house and sweet collection blew up. He cried again. Louis,Timmy�s evil twin, was obviously behind this evil scheme. Timmy set off on a two-year journey to find Louis. He never found his twin so Timmy gave up. To get even with Louis, he decided to go to Burger King, Louis� favorite restaurant. Within an hour Louis arrived in tears. The plan had worked so Timmy kicked him in the shins. Louis was put in jail for his evil schemes. The moral of the story is: Don�t mess with Timmy (and crime doesn�t pay). |
| Timmy Wears a Tutu Episode IV The year is 2085. One day Timmy was playing Pong on his new Atari. His neighbor had just thrown away his obsolete Playstation 18 so Timmy used a sledgehammer on the video game console. Timmy is what you would call �technologically impaired.� He had to fly a hover jet to school instead of transtromboning there instantly. Right after he had annihilated the PS18, he checked his expiration date to see if he was going rotten. The expiration date was 1999 so he decided to go another year before he changed his animatronic diaper. He ripped off his facemask to reveal his true identity. He was really an opossum. He decided to put on his disguise, a pink tutu. When he put on the tutu he felt very famine. He put his powers to good use when he chased down super bad guys. They trembled at the name Timmy Maria Santiago Cabeza. Timmy had a roommate named Eddie who ate wax for a living. Timmy could tell that Eddie was up to no good. He was always burning poop-scented candles in his room. Timmy used super speed to run to a telephone booth and call the cops. They arrested Eddie for attempting to steal Timmy�s Pez collection. They gave Eddie life in prison without parole. Timmy�s fairy godmother finally turned Timmy into a real boy. THE END |
| The Day I Caught a Leprechaun (Although the story takes place over a two year period) One day I was going to the mall and I got hit by a car�ouch!!! I woke up two hours latter looking at the bottom of a parked car. It must have been the guy who hit me, so I pulled out my Swiss army knife and used the crowbar on the windshield. Unfortunately the owner the car, Mr. Lankatoti, my teacher, was inside. He called the cops. I told the cops that I was hit by this wacko and he should be locked up. They locked me up instead. I spent the next two years in an insane asylum. The people there beat me up frequently and spit on me. One day I was in my cell, I mean, correctional facility room and I saw a little man. �I�m a leprechaun. You get two wishes.� I first wished my straight jacket off. The leprechaun climbed up and untied the arms. �For my second wish I want a new bike.� He made a bike appear instantly. I was feeling pretty hungry and the Leprechaun didn�t give me great wishes so I picked him up and ate him. He must have put a curse on me because he digested not so nicely. Then I rode my bike out of the cell. |
| Timmy Eats a Radioactive Pez Episode II � Timmy came home after a hard day selling Smurf Slurpees at the annual Chicken festival. He made 2 Sacagawea coins and 13 pennies. He spent his hard earned money on a brand new Pez at 7eleven. His collection was coming along just fine. His latest Pez was Smeljucol one of the rarest Pez ever. It was last seen in a New York City toy store before the Bombing. Smeljucol was worth $50,802 if it was mint in the package. He ripped open the box to eat the magical candy that was glowing very magically. It reminded Timmy of the time he swallowed the radioactive waste from a nuclear plant. Timmy went home to smash the Pez (Timmy has been just a little paranoid about someone else smashing his collection again, so he smashes each new dispenser as soon as its bought) but got dizzy and fainted on the sidewalk. When he woke up, a squid ripped out of his mechanical chest. Just then a bus swerved off the road smashing Timmy into an electric fence. As you may have guessed his dog, Ralphy, had been driving the bus. Ralphy was depressed that he didn�t win a Grammy after his latest record, �Oops, I did it Again (All Over the Rug).� Timmy died as they got him to the hospital. The doctor yelled, �Get this dead monkey out of my hospital.� And Timmy the human survived the crash because he was wearing a safety belt. |
| Henny There once was a chicken named Henny, Who loved to spend every penny, To buy her favorite drugs on the street. She got in trouble with the cops, And on two stubs she hops, �Cause they shot off her feet with a gun. |
| The Rat Eating Man (sorry if you dont like it. I wrote it in 7th grade) A long long time ago in a far away galaxy, there was a man named Ron. Ron was always hungry. He used to even eat cafeteria food. Then he started eating rats, mice, hamsters, and other small mammals. He liked them so much he�d throw them in the oven, take them out and then he�d gut them. Eventually he got sick of cooking them so he�d just gut them and swallow them raw. Then he got even more addicted to the point that he ate them alive. He ate all the small mammals in Indiana. So he moved. Ron moved to Godzilla�s town. He stopped several times on his way to New York to fill up on mice snacks that he brought with him. He finally got there after a few weeks. Ron got out of his car and jumped into the nearest dumpster to start his search for food. �Hey, got out of my dumpster. You�re crushing my skull,� said an old man. �Sorry,� said Ron, �I didn�t know you lived here. I was just looking for some rats to eat.� �That�s disgusting. Even I wouldn�t eat a rat. They�re my friends. Or they were until the QQ factory moved into town. Now the mice have left.� �This is terrible,� Ron said, �I must help your friends and my food.� �Wait, I think Eric Williams is the head of the company. You will die trying to stop him and he will escape using a cool escape vehicle. Now go.� <The Plot Thickens> Ron went straight to the QQ factory. QQ stood for Quick Quntrol. He broke down the door and ran through the toxic gas rooms bypassing the deadly lasers. But there was a cardboard door with a guard. �Excuse me, you can�t pass this point,� said the guard. �Oh yes I can,� said Ron. �I�ve got a pizza for the boss.� �Where is the pizza?� �It�s in my pockets.� �Oh okay. Then hurry up and deliver it,� said the guard. The door opened and Ron ran through. He found the tank room and found a self-destruct switch. He pushed it and the whole factory blew up. Ron would be happy to know that he made the world a better place for all the Rat Addicts! Good Work Ron! |
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