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| Lyrics cont'd |
| Lyrics cont'd |
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| Christ-Puncher If I traveled back in time to 1969 I'd probably bring my shotgun and blast 'em while they're high I'd nail 'em to a peace sign like they were crucified douse that thing with bourbon and light that shit on fire Chorus: I hate fuckin' hippies burn 'em all alive peace and love are gay let 'em fuckin fry Over at Kent State U hippies fell to their knees but I wish they shot some more and wipe out the hippie disease (chorus) |
| Ohio Hippie Massacre |
| Christ-Puncher So you tell me you're parents hate each other It was funny to everyone but you Domestic abuse was the reason they gave you But it was really you, you stupid dumbshit chorus: Mom and Dad got a divorce... ...and it's all your goddamn fault They split up and live seperated You're the reason Dad is paying child support Aren't you sad that mommy has manic depression She goes through each day with a bottle of Jack All the kids laugh at you Don't you feel like a homewrecking slut, SLUT! (chorus) Daddy lost his job You've created a hell for yourself Why don't you just hang yourself Because Mom and Dad both fuckin hate you (chorus) Huh! |
| Mom And Dad Got A Divorce And It's All Your Fault |
| Roheeeen If pies were made of pussy I'd put 'em on the shelf And if I was a baker Well, I'd eat them all myself I like the pussy...pie Oh those pies made of pussy No creme fillin No marmalade But you're damn right Lots and lots of cherries! Right! |
| Cherry Pie |
| Christ-Puncher Mama, please get off your knees Daddy didn't marry a whore You're a sinner as far as I can see Looks like you're knockin' on Satan's door Chorus: Knock, knock, knockin' on Satan's door... Mama, would you please stop goin' down Don't drink whiskey anymore We asked you to stop sluttin' around You're definately knockin' on Satan's door Christ-Puncher & Roheeeen chorus |
| Knockin' On Satan's Door |
| Christ-Puncher Wow, I never had buffalo before (spoken) Roheeeen One, two, three, Bitch! Christ-Puncher Do you like dog-faced gremlins? cause I sure do A pimply bitch that everyone else finds hideous I always thought Halloween was just a Boston thing But then again I can't pronounce my own town's name chorus: Buffalo tastes a lot like chicken I never knew everyone on my floor thought I was an idiot My roommate even fuckin hates me, but I'm oblivious to life That's right I'm P B D I just scored the first touchdown in Playstation 2 history Aren't you proud of me? My favorite friend of all is a girl named Leah But everyone else makes fun and calls her Ratty G (chorus) Roheeeen & Christ-Puncher P---------- B---------- D---------.....I'M A FUCKIN DOOSH! |
| P. B. D. |
| Roheeeeen I got Jesus on my wall But the Devil's in the hall I'm eating TV dinners And the tater tots are making me thinner I got Kings & Queens & Jacks But the Aces are still in the stack I'm playin Cruisin' USA & I hit the jackpot today chorus: Because I'm living like a king I'm drinking with the team I'm singing Karaoke I got a dollar from a guy who choked me I'm watchin' motocross It kinda gets my rocks off I'm hangin with the boyz Startin noize I saw the news today We're gonna bomb the USA I'm making a break for the Walmart I'm picking up a new golf cart I'm watchin Elvis Stoyko I heard he moved to San Francisco I got a job peddlin perfume And I gave a witch my newest broom (chorus) I'm bustin champagne bottles I'm celebratin like a hand model I'm spinnin trash can lids I wrote a new song to save the kids I'm livin a lie That stick gonna poke out your eye (chorus) Fuck You! |
| Insane Dance Mix 2000 |
| Christ-Puncher It's 6 o'clock time for dinner you're about to find out your brother's a sinner you open his door he's got a porno mag but there's no tits or ass oh my god, he's a fag He whips off the sock and the glaze in his eyes and tries to explain while you start to cry but his secret is out he's been stroking his cock but for some strange reason it isn't a shock And all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't make him a straight guy again so just sit back and crack open a beer it's sad but true your brother's a queer |
| Your Brother's A Fag |
| Roheeeen One, two, cunt, slug! Christ-Puncher Life is treating me well As Big Gay Al would say, it's swell I love everyone I see But there's little that you know about me chorus: I like stealing puppies I like melting popsicles I like threatening penpals Cause I'm a fucking dick I like steatling puppies I like melting popsicles I like threatening penpals Cause I'm a fucking dick If I was a pre-school teacher This is what I'd do I'd knock over all the kids' blocks And do a poo in their shoes (chorus) |
| Puppies, Popsicles n' Penpals |
| Christ-Puncher Boy... Bands... Fuckin suck I fuckin hate them They should all fuckin die Except for one man, one man chorus: Lou fuckin Pearlman I wanna make him my fuckin bitch Unscrew his head and shit down his neck Oh, yeah! Did you ever notice How much they suck? Fuckin teeny-bopper whores Fuck Carson, fuck TRL Fuck 'em straight to Satan (chorus) |
| I Wanna Make Lou Pearlman My Bitch |
| Christ-Puncher College is fucking gay and bitches are fucking gay And yes, I know I did substitute gay for stupid but that's ok with me especially if you're really ugly cause I'll say everything's gay I don't care what you say cause... Chorus: Everything is gay to me equals stupid in my vocabulary I don't care what you say if you hate me, you're fucking gay I know this stupid kid and I fucking call him gay he doesn't like to fuck men but I call him gay anyway so if you're a fuckin moron but don't like to fuck your own sex and to all the Latin boners you're a stupid gay-ass Mex (chorus) |
| That's Right I Called You Gay |
| DJ Voltron When the rest of my friends All call me a drunk They try and say You've had enough I say fuck off There's still some left So I pour another Please excuse my sloppiness chorus: Oh, shotglasses are my only friends Single or double, it never ends Oh, shotglasses are my only friends Single of double, it never ends Well there's an inch left In the bottle of Jack I know I can finish that If you try and Make me chase I'll slap it away and Punch you in the fucking face (chorus) Roheeeen Let's go! Roheeeen & Christ-Puncher Shot (shot) Glasses (glasses) My (my) Friends (friends) |
| Shotglasses Are My Only Friends |
| Christ-Puncher If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls Don't expect soap opera guys If you think you're fat, you probably are Don't ask us about your cottage cheese thighs Don't ever cut your hair It makes you look like men And what's with all those shoes And why you overspend chorus: This is everything We don't understand about you Quit your goddamn bitching And get a fucking clue When we have to go somewhere What you wear is fine Quit fuckin asking us for the hundreth time If you come to us with a problem You'll get a resolution and nothing more Sympathy is for you friends Who are mostly dirty whores (chorus) Get a fucking clue DJ Voltron Seriously |
| To Women Everywhere |