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The Ugly (read at your own risk, this is not Politically Correct) |
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Ah, the Ortega house in all of it's over-grown, weed-infested glory, functions as a sactuary for area dandilions and abandoned construction projects. Unfortunately, the beer cans (among cigarette butts and other decorations) often found in the yard have not successfully hidden the weed problem.
One can only wonder how, considering the lawn's proximity to the garbage cans permanently displayed in the driveway, the litter is able to escape and lounge in the yard. Thankfully, the eight to ten cars frequently parked out front help shield neighbors' eyes from the blight. |
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Now if we could only install a tornado siren running 24/7 to help drown out the constant noise of backyard parties, broken mufflers, and thumping subwoofers. |
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Maybe if only 15 or 20 of the people arriving and departing from Casa Ortega at all times of day and night, who are kind enought to provide music for the entire neighborhood (Thanks! My family, including my baby daughter, loves to get together and listen to mariachi at 2 AM), could park their cars in the yard, possibly up on blocks, we could complete this fine example of a suburban-nightmare, property-value-inhibiting, college-fraternity party-house, up-scale trailer-park-trash, INS agent dream come true, DEA agent ditto, ultimate opportunity for asthetic improvement. |
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DANGER: Click on the pictures for a bigger view at your own risk!!! |
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...on second thought, wouldn't we need a chain-link fence in the front yard, a few tacky lawn ornaments, six noisy dogs "decorating" the 'burb, and an old-style 12' diameter satellite dish out front to be really thorough? |
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Now then, with that said, if you were offended by anything I've written here, I invite you to attempt sleep at my house at any time of night to experience the random thump-thump-thump for yourself. Oh, and bring a screaming infant who gets awoken for the full, sleep-disturbing effect.
I would also ask you to ask yourself how you would feel after politely asking your neighbors to keep down the noise an so many occasions and getting ignored that you lost track, prompting numerous calls to the police from yourself and other neighbors that you finally decided to move away?
I'll leave you with one final trivia question:
Q: What kind of impression does calf-high weeds, yard garbage, ripped-out landscaping replaced by a fake 2' Christmas tree, and a permanent construction project make on any prospective home buyer
A: I don't know, but if I were shopping for a house, and somehow decided to buy a house somewhere around the Ortega-Disaster-Zone, it wouldn't be the highest offer in the neighborhood.
Finally, if you DO have any complaints, please address them to me personally at my house between the hours of Midnight and 5:00 AM.
(Best chance to find me already awake, in the best mood and motivated by the rythmic sounds (ah-Ree'-bah, moo-Chah'-choh!) permeating my skull to openly take into consideration your objections and to take immediate corrective action.) |
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