Sake Sake

The College Film Zone: An Insane Posse Of Amazons - Written by DarkZelgadis

Source material: Some Random Idiot's Review On Amazon

YOUR 15 IS UP AND IT'S TIME TO PUT DOWN THE MIC AND START THE GOOD LIFE WITH ALL THAT MONEY YOU MADE IF YOU STILL HAVE IT. YOU ARE BOTH IN DISGUISE, NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE UNLESS THEY ARE CLOSE TO YOU. GET OUTTA DETROIT, MOVE TO SO. CALI AND JUST CHILL BACK WITH A BLUNT AND WATCH THE OCEAN AND DO AS MANY FREAKS AS POSSIBLE. DON'T WORRY L.A. IS BIG SO EMINEM WONT EVER FIND YOU! I LIKE YOUR OLD STUFF, BACK WITH THE ACTUALL PYSCOPATHIC RHYMES. FORGET THIS RYDA, GANGSTA, BALLER CRAP, YOU STICK WITH WHAT YOUR GOOD AT AND NEVER CHANGE. CARNIVAL OF CARNAGE WAS THE BEST ALBUM THAT Y'ALL EVER MADE. ASND ABOUT EMINEM, HE'S SOLID, I CAN LISTEN TO BOTH Y'ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I RRESPECT BOTH Y'ALL BUT PLEASE SQUASH THE BEEF IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY, YOU AND HIM ARE LIKE A BUNCHA YOUNG BROADS IN A SCHOOL YARD, GROW UP, OTHERWISE BECOME A RETIRED JUGGALO AND KEEP IT REAL FELLAS!

I was not ready for the unparalleled genius that I was about to read. Alas, I did not know this before I read this wonderfully artistic coming-of-age story. It's a shame I wasn't ready for this, because I could have kept a fresh batch of tissues near me. It was just so beautiful! Why, just typing this paragraph about it makes me want to weep for joy. I shall not though, for I must tell you the hidden meanings inside of this wonderful work because you people are obtuse simpletons! Why, you wouldn't even understand the hidden beauty of "Ultimate Tentacle Rape Volume 671" if you tried! You buffoons!

First off, you may notice that this wonderful piece of literature has been written in all capitals. The meaning of this is immense. By typing this in all capital letters, he who goes by the tortured alias 'Collegeman "Big Wop.Com"', is commenting on the troubled moral state of the modern world. He is basically saying humans prefer investing "capital" than helping other humans. The alias he picked also speaks volumes. Collegeman is of great cultural significance. The author of the piece is basically saying all men should go to college for free, perhaps by using "bigwop.com" as the means to the end. Of course, I suspect Collegeman hates woman and is probably openly gay. Why else would he not want women to go to college for free?

"YOUR 15 IS UP" is the beginning of it all. By saying this, the author is informing the world that number fifteen is up at the local delicatessen. He wanted to make sure the person who held number fifteen would not get skipped. This is a big part of his morality. Collegeman does not want any member of society (except women) to be skipped. Nay, he believes every man alive should be able to buy their ham and/or turkey when there number is up. Also, Collegeman clearly believes that vegetarians are stupid. As everyone knows, the number fifteen is the mark of the evil vegetarian in the Collegeman Bible Of Big Wop.Com. This evil vegetarian tries to get people to eat the demonic vegetables known as carrots. According to his Bible, being a vegetarian is a sine or some sort of trigonometric function and it's punishable by deaf. Yes, he wrote it as deaf. Don't look at me, I didn't write his stupid Bible. That was his worst work ever, in my opinion. It probably has something to do with that coming out after this masterpiece of his, but whatever.

"AND IT'S TIME TO PUT DOWN THE MIC AND START THE GOOD LIFE WITH ALL THAT MONEY YOU MADE IF YOU STILL HAVE IT." is so blatantly obvious that I'm not surprised the idiot masses haven't caught on to it yet. By this, Mr. Collegeman is referring to the Fox reality show known as The Simple Life, a masterpiece in its own right. By mentioning this, he is channeling the greatness of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, truly poets ahead of their times. I'm not finding the significant meanings in the Simple Life though, I am unwrapping the wonderful art of the fine author Collegeman. The phrase "put down the mic" is of the utmost important to this piece. It is referring to Collegeman's childhood in Ireland, where people called him a "mic" because they forgot the right racial slur. Collegeman is so bitter about his tragic past. He always writes PUT DOWN THE MIC in every piece. It is simply a way of saying, 'I hate you racist bastards who can't remember correct terms.' That's what wonderful literature is all about, really. The money comment is quite obvious, it is referring to the spending of money. If you didn't figure that out by reading it, then you're just a gargantuan ingrate who partakes in fornication using the phalluses of pederasts. (My thesaurus supplied by BigWop.com)

"YOU ARE BOTH IN DISGUISE, NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE UNLESS THEY ARE CLOSE TO YOU." This line is a bit confusing. Collegeman starts off with the deeply enigmatic YOU ARE BOTH IN DISGUISE, which can mean many things. What I get out of it, which is clearly the completely correct interpretation, is that Collegeman is referring to the legendary movie pair of Zorro and the other guy that always helps Zorro that everyone but me forgets. Clearly that's what is meant there. However, the NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE part clearly makes no sense. I mean, I obviously just told you it was Zorro. Collegeman, what the hell are you talking about? Or perhaps, this is one of the many layers in this fine work that I am missing. The world will never know, but I will remain pretentious and pretend to know regardless.

"GET OUTTA DETROIT, MOVE TO SO. CALI AND JUST CHILL BACK WITH A BLUNT AND WATCH THE OCEAN AND DO AS MANY FREAKS AS POSSIBLE." Oh yes, the most important stanza of this illustrious work. GET OUTTA DETRIOT is a firm instruction from the author to the many automobile manufactures in Detroit. He disapproves of the way these automobile manufactures handle important issues like the price of green eggs and possibly ham. He tells them firmly to move to Southern California because they will deal with such things there, but not in Detroit. He then goes on to warn the automobile manufactures by threatening to smash a blunt object over the head's of as many freaks as possible. (These freaks, he adds, are most likely to be watching the ocean.)

"DON'T WORRY L.A. IS BIG SO EMINEM WONT EVER FIND YOU!" Collegeman continues the threat he issued in the last stanza here. He tells the Detroit automobile manufactures that his hitman, one "Eminem", won't find them in Las Angles. He obviously is implying something here. If they don't move their businesses out of Detroit, Collegeman's hitman will "find" them and make them "pay" very "dearly", possibly with "venison." Either that, or Collegeman is just informing resident Thomas Yancy of 555 L.A Drive that M&M Minis will, in fact, not find him.

"I LIKE YOUR OLD STUFF, BACK WITH THE ACTUALL PYSCOPATHIC RHYMES." Here Collegeman is informing the Pyscopathic Rhyme Industry (the PRI) that their old products were much better. He is issuing a complaint to them in this part of his lifework. He is also warning the PRI here. If they don't change their products soon, Collegeman won't buy anymore of their pyscopathic rhymes. He'll even tell the acclaimed pyscopathic rhyme critic, Mr. Actuall Back about it. Actuall Back will take away a lot of the PRI's business if he gave them a bad review.

"FORGET THIS RYDA, GANGSTA, BALLER CRAP, YOU STICK WITH WHAT YOUR GOOD AT AND NEVER CHANGE." I am a bit confused here, and a bit concerned as well. Collegeman is making the bold statement of forgetting THIS RYDA, GANGSTA, AND BALLER CRAP. I must say, this is confused and a cause for concern. I'm confused, because frankly, I remember when Collegeman and I were good friends. We used to giggle and prance and trade Ryda, Gangsta, and Baller playing cards all night. I'm confused now, because he's telling everyone to just forget these good ole days. Frankly, this concerns me. I think Collegeman may be becoming an asshole and I don't like it one bit. Then he has the nerve to say YOU STICK WITH WHAT YOUR GOOD AT AND NEVER CHANGE. He himself has changed by calling Ryda, Gangsta, and Baller playing cards crap. Shame on you Collegeman, you used to be happy! Now with your busy schedule of masterpiece literature, you have totally lost touch with reality. For shame!

"CARNIVAL OF CARNAGE WAS THE BEST ALBUM THAT Y'ALL EVER MADE. ASND ABOUT EMINEM, HE'S SOLID, I CAN LISTEN TO BOTH Y'ALL AT THE SAME TIME." Here our beloved out-of-touch author gets back on track with his genius. He makes the bold statement of Carnival of Carnage being the best album that the band Y'All has ever made. Now, I'm not a music expert, but Want Some Sweet Tea was Y'All's best album. Obviously Collegeman knows nothing about obscure indie bands. I forgive him for this though, because he is such a talented writer. Then he tells us his hitman Eminem is solid. This is good to know, because many people such as the famous Asnd Franklin, always thought Eminem was a gas. Thanks to Collegeman, the Great Eminem Phase Mystery of 2003 has been solved. Collegeman then goes on to inform the reader that he can listen to Y'All and Asnd Franklin at the same time, because they are both very good artists you never heard of. If you have heard of them somehow, then they suck and their music is completely clich�.

"I RRESPECT BOTH Y'ALL BUT PLEASE SQUASH THE BEEF IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY," This line is a bit confusing as well. First, Collegeman mentions yet another wonderful indie band known as RRESPECT. I have no idea what this has to do with Y'All and their wonderful albums though. The beef comment is also equally confusing, because I do believe both the members of RRESPECT and Y'All are vegantarians. Yes, they're so hardcore against eating animals that they call themselves vegantarians. Vegantarians don't even believe in killing bacteria or plants. They somehow survive on a diet of rocks. I think they have a way of chewing rocks and getting minerals out of them, or something.

"YOU AND HIM ARE LIKE A BUNCHA YOUNG BROADS IN A SCHOOL YARD, GROW UP, OTHERWISE BECOME A RETIRED JUGGALO AND KEEP IT REAL FELLAS!" Here Collegeman is showing everyone his hatred of woman yet again. The phrase BUNCHA YOUNG BROADS IN A SCHOOL YARD sticks out here. He obviously holds school yards above women, and supports a school yard's right to abort them if they must. Collegeman, you sick bastard, school yards don't have the right to choose. After this, the most significant part of this end sentence that sticks out is the part about retired juggalos. Not many people know what a juggalo is. A juggalo is a tribe based in Detriot. The Juggalo tribe is the strongest of the Detroit tribes, and it even holds several gold mines under its control. Collegeman is telling the juggalo bosses to retire so he can become the leader of the mighty juggalo tribe. I see through your flimsy prose Collegeman, and I don't like what you're trying to do one bit. No, I don't like it at all. We used to be friends, now I hate you, you selfish bastard.

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