July 2006

History of the Thong

HI, All Readers!

Thanks to Thomas' computer, i am able to weigh in on the Bikini-debate. I first discovered it in the German Stern Magazine and felt that a short notice would be of immense interest to all Bloggers. Soon American and European papers followed with the anniversary of the B.

If there exist a BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR AWARD, Cindy should without question get that award. The picture is just stunning, bordering on tantalizing! Cindy's hair is perfectly arranged by the wind, framing her lovely face in a "hugging way" and giving the picture a sporty-sexy look. Her lower lip reveals much sexuality, adding tremendously to a charming photo, caught just at the right moment by Peter, the "LUCKY ONE."

My entry into the "Thong" department is interesting as you will instantly discover. The Thong originated in Brazil and "discovered" by classy descendants of Portuguese, Spanish, Italian and also German immigrants, who make up some 75% of the poor population. Among the many immigrants, many had to work along the famous Amazon river and delta, along the Mato Grosso, Manacapuru, Coari and Obidos area, famous for 97 degree heat.

Now, in order not to step constantly on snakes, crocodiles, spiders and other mean animals, the workers just swung from giant tree branches to tree branches. This sporty maneuver demanded of course freedom of action. No hindering pants of any length. Just a few square inches of cloth would be just the right size to cover some anatomy. In no time, the enterprising ladies of the land took a liking to the new look on the male workforce, changed a little here and there and voila, the thong was born and appeared on the female fashion scene around 1939. So, what a Pedro, Vasco, Floriano wore while swinging from tree to tree, is now on sale in chic boutiques or at Wal Mart, starting at around $ 20.00 and up-up-up. Incidentally, Oma can be viewed in her Bikini [no thong for her] in a mounted picture frame, dating back to the glorious 1970's.

OBRIGADO - Thank you. Opa.

A Bikini Followup!

I figured that I should put up a picture of Cindy in her bikini, rather than some unknown model (see my father's blog entry), so here she is:

No drooling or copying/pasting to your computer/Palm/Ipod...On second thought, go right ahead!!! Also, check out the new doo! Unfortunately a few moments later, she lost those nice sunglasses attempting to get into the inflatable canoe...SPLASH. If she gets several nice comments, Cindy said I can post a picture or two of her in her new thong!

Our Vacation!

We have safely arrived home, rested (sort of), rejuvenated, and sore (all that hiking and horseback riding)! The kids had a blast on Tuesday, when we rented a deck boat for the day. We bought a tow-behind tube before leaving Sarasota, and we all took turns skimming across the water, bouncing around like no one's business! At one point, Natalie flew about 4 feet into the air as she crossed the boat's wake! Karl followed with his own aerial assault, his hair blown into a part-down-the-middle style ala the crooners of the 30's!

On Sunday, we did the traditional hike up Whiteside Mountain. The day was cool and quiet; almost no one else was on the trail that day. As you can see by the picture, the weather was somewhat hazy, but comfortable. It was on the way down that we suffered our first mishap; Cindy stumbled and fell, like the proverbial tree in the forest, and landed on her face, wrist and hip. Needless to say, she was hurting and needed a wrist brace for the remainder of the week. The massive bruise on the side of her hip (no pictures as per the victim) will, unfortunately, be visible for weeks.

On Thursday, we went horseback riding into the Panthertown Valley, replete with numerous hiking and horse trails. Indeed, several hikers approached our group asking for directions; the trails cris-crossed like a giant spider's web! We went on the 2 hour tour (1 shy of Gilligan's) and soon found out that the horses had minds of their own; Karl's horse simply wanted to walk...slowly the entire way, my horse, Sally, didn't like the bit, Cindy's horse wanted to run (about 500 meters from the end, her horse began to gallop, almost throwing her off onto the rock-strewn trail!), and Natalie's horse pooped and farted entirely too much! Later that evening at the house, we began to feel the effects of the ride; sore butts, thighs, and crotches!

Later that evening, we dined at the Skyline Lodge, a 60's hotel built in the style of Frank Lloyd Wright atop a mountain with 360 degree views, and cuisine to match. Karl and Natalie wolfed down their NY strips, while Cindy stuck with Chicken; I needed to have the areas speciality, Brook Trout, and the chef obliged with his version of "Trout Oscar." It was a very pleasant experience. On Friday, the kids wanted to swim (laps) so we drove to Sylva, 27 miles away and the site of the only 25 yard pool in the 3-county area. Arriving around 12:30, we tried to swim a decent practice (even I got involved), but the country-folk bobbing around aimlessly made swimming laps impossible. After about 500 yards, we gave up. Both Karl and Natalie commented on how lucky they are to have the Olympic-class pool in Sarasota to practice in.

With only a couple weeks before school starts, we are using this week to do some gardening and home repairs, as well as getting ready for the big Area 3/5 Championship Meet in St. Petersburg. It is truly amazing how quickly the kids have improved their strokes, especially Karl, who swam freestyle like he was chopping wood! He is now the ipitome of smoothness, while Natalie's butterfly is beginning to take shape; strong kicks with terrific arm extension. Their coach said she expects both to make JO (Junior Olympic) cuts by Christmas! We'll keep you posted!

Etcetera!

Vacationers, welcome back to rainy Sarasota!

While you were boating, hiking through miles of unspoiled terrain, traversing idyllic forest, barely escaping poisonous snakes and the famous ticks (arachnids), yours truly made urgent preparations for the upcoming of my 90th birthday in 2016. By that time you, Peter, will be 56, Cynthia 55. Karl at 21, will arrive with his some jalopy and Natalie, 20 by then, will be accompanied by her new boyfriend Putzy.

Oma in her famous bigheartedness acquiesced in my humble request to prepare for me a healthy Haferschleimsuppe (Gruel), Finely Chopped 2 oz. Beef Tenderloin, Creamed Okra, Whipped Potatoes, Peppermint Tea and Assorted Pill du jour. All others will get to indulge in Oma's famous Koenigsberger Klopse, the above Okra and Potatoes and some sauerkraut. The entertainment portion of the party will feature the presentation of my somewhat outdated Autobiography, in the editing stage since A.D.2000. As a balancing encore, I will circulate my 200 pages "volume" of "Our Ancestors" - 153 Years of Unique Family History, embellished with events from around the world between 1773 and 1926.

Again, while you were stumbling over each other and protruding roots in some alluring forest to pick some fresh mushrooms for a nice meal at lunch, trying to avoid the poisonous kind, I was sitting on our patio, gazing at some unusual cloud formations. Like in a kaleidoskope, whole continents and countries formed for a few moments, along with every animal imaginable. Occasionally, a typical Rorschach Test creation appeared, making the time spent in the sun bearable. Once I saw a stunning resemblance of MAX, chasing a cumulus cloud.

A propo MAX, his hindleg-muscles are again fully developed to full power. He managed to conquer the tops of all chairs, likes all three couches and finds heaven during the nights in our beds, leaving scant room for us. Both Oma and Thomas performed their assignments as instructed, cut the grass and drained the pool, etc.

...til Monday.

Opa.

BIKINI'S!!!

ONLY TWO PARTS

Never could I forgive myself if I would not remind you of a invention of revolutionary dimensions. On July 5, 1946, the BIKINI came on the market in Paris. It seemed appropriate to name the new creation after the first atomic blast over the Bikini-Atoll on July 1, 1946.

The duration of wearing a B. is rather short as most girls are aware of. Unfortunately, some don't seem to get the message and spoil the landscape. Only when 21 years old can a girl properly display the few square inches of material, or when hailing from Stockholm or some South American country. I just know that there is a need for this message.

Opa, July 5, 2006

Enjoy!

Fritz's 80th Birthday

The following was written by the birthday boy himself, as a prelude to the celebration!

Dear Clan Member!

It is customary in our society to deliver a brilliant, awe-inspiring speech, recapitulating unique past performances during one's last 80 years on this slippery globe. On family party days, it has become routine behavior for the nine member Hegwein family clan, the tenth member not yet able to stand, to roam the premises, making it impossible to render a heart-warming, impactful, uplifting speech.

The following three categories, The Best, The Most Decisive, and The Worst & Saddest contain highlights of my 80 years, readable in 3 minutes, since in brevity lies spice.

The Best

At age 5, while lost in Munich's Englischer Garten, walked home in 1 hour, alone.-1931
Winning a vest-pocket wind-up watch after running 60 meters in 11 seconds.-1936
Made several 14 Km solo rowboat trips on the famous Starnbergersee near Munich in 1937.
Worked as a volunteer street car conductor in Munich, 1942.
Through connections, launched a hard-to-get job at the Hotel Schottenhamel in Munich in 1946.
Married in 1955.
Bought first car for $300.00, a 1948 Chrysler in Boston in 1957.
Arrival of Peter in Denver in 1960, Thomas in Springfield in '63, and Jennifer in Sarasota in 1971.
Bought first home on Thornton Place in Sarasota, 1967.
Arrival of Karl in 1995, Natalie in 1996, and Hunter in 2005, all in Sarasota.

The Most Decisive

Volunteered for U-boat duty in 1943, served at Stralsund, assigned to Marine Infantry in 1945 and served at the Eastern Theater.
Taken prisoner of war on May 5th, 1945, by Scottish Highlanders near Lubeck.
Escaped POW camp during relocation train trip from Lubeck to Nurnberg in late 1945.
Made decision to work in Switzerland in 1951.
Accepted invitation to work in Sweden, 1952.
Decided to immigrate in 1957.
Invited to open and manage the Sarasota University Club in 1970.
Opening of family enterprise "Peter's" in 1980.
Obtained managerial position of the Detroit Boat Club in 1981.

The Worst & Saddest

Duty in Reichs Arbeits Dienst (RAD) and Navy training in Stralsund, 1944-45.
Simultaneous food poisoning, lung inflammation, jaundice, and 2-day coma in 1944.
Work at the Hotel Reichshof in Hamburg in 1954.
The "Broker Experience" in Denver, 1968.
Selling "Peter's" in 1981.
At age 55 and 63, unemployed, 15 weeks in 1981, and 26 weeks in 1989.
Failure to learn the violin, a wish of my parents, and to learn French.
Not caring for my aging parents when most needed, due to immigration.

I hope you enjoyed reading this skeletal autobiography!

May your future be eventful, successful and without any involvement in war, and may you always enjoy good health.

Fritz