About the Site The Very Secret Logs
Peregrin Took
The Very Secret Log of Peregrin Took
Day 1: Saw Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Gandalf today. Think Legolas� butt might have gotten even firmer�didn�t know that was possible.
Hope this doesn�t mean I have to share my weed...
Merry was really happy, think he found a carrot... Hope I get a turn.LATER
Found shiny ball thing. Gandalf took it away. Most disappointing. V. pretty.Day 3: Stole pretty ball back from Gandalf last night. Big scary eye thing tried to hit on me. V. frightening!! Told him he should try Visine and he got all huffy.
Taking trip with Gandalf now. Merry not coming, which made me sad. Made him sadder, though, as is my day to have carrot! Yay!
Wish had had time to stop by Gap of Rohan. Need new scarf, as knitted look is apparently out.Day 7: FINALLY got to Minas Tirith, ass is killing me. V. pretty white city! Must be hell to keep clean...
Thankfully, there is also a Gap here. Got pretty White Tree brand clothing. Scarf out, armor in. As a bonus, no longer smell of horse and orc. GO ME!
Met Denethor. He was very sad that the Horn of Gondor was broken. So was I...It made a funny sound...
Also met Faramir. Thought he was interested in me, so played hard-to-get. Turns out he just saw Sam and Frodo. Was disappointed.
Oh well. He seems like the pervy hobbit-fancying type. Maybe I still have a chance.
Wonder what Merry�s doing...or who.Day 8: Denethor was a complete bitch to Faramir today. Me-ow! Poor Faramir almost crying when he left. Heh, heh. Pussy.
Faramir rather cute, though, especially when sad. Not quite as good-looking as brother was, but whatever. Perhaps will need cuddling if he lives through attack by zillions of orcs...
Also, got to climb up a tower and set stuff on fire. V. amusing!! Also had to sing for Denethor while he ate. Bastard didn�t even offer me any. Am starved.Day 9: Zillions of orcs coming. Threw heads of captives over walls. Ew. Threw bits of wall back.
Faramir dragged back with arrows in him. Denethor barmy, wouldn�t listen when I said son wasn�t dead. Denethor an idiot, actually.
Gandalf got to whack Denethor with big white staff a few times. I wonder...In absence of hat, is there a Pointy Staff Trick?LATER
Denethor burned alive while careening over cliff. Ouch. Meanwhile, I used Faramir being on fire as excuse to sit on him and pat his pants.
Faramir flaming, ha!Day 10: Merry finally showed up today! Made mistake of trying to hit on Ringwraith first, though. Apparently, did not swing that way... Merry not in such good shape as result... Have told him a thousand times, he has to get over that bad-boy complex.
Aragorn brought transparent green friends. They smell almost as bad as him (and there�s more of them!) Thankfully, they disappeared. Aragorn seems to have disappeared, too�can�t smell him anywhere...
Oh, nope, there he is. Good Eru, I think he took a bath!Day 11: At black gates. I think they just brought me so I could distract flaming eye for Frodo and Sam... Apparently, he fancies Frodo, too. Pervy old bugger. If he tries anything, Sam will kill him.
LATER
I guess it worked. Eye fell down, everything totally destroyed. Land of Mordor fell, literally!
Eagles came. Good fun all around. They went with Gandalf to get Frodo and Sam from pointy rock.Day 18: Frodo�s awake! He, Merry, and I had big, pervy hobbit pile on big white bed. Sam didn�t join in. Am surprised he didn�t kill us...
Aragorn still clean! It�s amazing! Though now, he�s been amusing himself by sneaking up on me and grabbing my ass... You�d think it was a game or something!
Tricky human much harder to keep track of now that stench is gone.Day 20: Aragorn gave Arwen big, wet snog right in front of Legolas at coronation today. Was just trying to make Blondie jealous.
Everyone bowed to us. I was excited, until I realized that it was just a respect thing...Day 25: Back in Hobbiton now. Have pretty new paisley scarf, yay! Took a trip to Merry�s tailor, have acquired new wardrobe. Armor out, vests in!
Day 49: Sam got married. Am v. v. puzzled... Must be a cover up. Actually, that�s not a bad idea.
Day 1095: Frodo went across the sea today. V.v. sad! Poor Sam...
Gave me excuse to cuddle with Merry, though. Invited Sam, but crazy bloke went home to spend time with family!
Has he not been doing enough of that, what with the rabbit-like reproduction? Poor Sam must be exhausted. He hasn�t even had time to paint the door!
Meh. To each their own, I guess.
Aragorn | Legolas | Boromir | Frodo | Sam | Gandalf | Pippin | Merry | Gimli | Theodred | Theoden | Eomer | Eowyn | Faramir | Denathor | Gollum/Smeagol | Arwen | Elrond | Saruman | Sauron | The Ring