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Saturday November 11, 1995
Well, I done had it up to here with you, I told him when he came through the door. Are you bent on making me hate you or something? He stopped just inside the doorway and eyed me guiltily. And just where in the hell have you been all night? I continued, This isn't a hotel you know, you cannot just come and go as you please. Where've you been?
He watched me silently.
I'm sick of this, Carl, why do you always do this? I worried all night over you, I pictured you dead on the side of the road somewhere. I called everyone to see if they had seen you and you were nowhere to be found. Everything I do is for you and you act as though you just don't care. Who fixes your meals? And what about the surgery you had last week, whose paying for that with her own hard earned money? Why do you always have to be so inconsiderate? I don't even know why I keep you around!
He looked down at the floor.
And how about that mess you left in the living room yesterday?! I'm so tired of picking up after you, you should know better than that by now, Carl, you're not stupid!
He seemed to contemplate this for a moment with his head cocked to one side. He scratched his ear, the way he always does when I'm talking to him.
I take you places, buy you things, fix your meals and this is the thanks I get! You stay out all night doing God knows what with God knows who. And don't think for a second I don't know what you were doing all night, I ain't no idiot, Carl. I am so fed up with you right now! And look at the mess you're making. I pointed out.
He looked down at himself and noticed for the first time he was standing in a puddle of water and mud.
I just cleaned that floor, Carl! I exclaimed. That's it! I finally said. Nothing I ever say seems to get through to you and you enjoy staying out so much so just get out. You're not sleeping here tonight, you can go sleep in a ditch for all I care.
He looked out the backdoor and then back at me.
I don't care if it's raining! I read his mind, you're not staying here!
I brushed past him and opened the screen door wide.
Out! I told him.
He turned toward me and just watched me with sad eyes.
Don't give me that look, Carl, you brought this on yourself. You get out of my house right now!
He looked down at the now wet linoleum and walked slowly out the door. My heart broke as I watched him walk out in to the rain but I had to stand my ground. I was tired of being treated badly. I was a good woman and if he couldn't appreciate that then to hell with him.
He walked to the edge of the yard and stopped to stand beside the shed. Lord have mercy, but he looked pathetic standing there in the rain. He sat down on the ground. Well, at least have enough sense to go in the shed where it's dry! I yelled at him but I guess he didn't hear because he didn't move.
I sighed and closed the door. I went into the living room to read the newspaper but all I could concentrate on were all of Carl's things scattered around the room and all the pictures in tiny frames of him and of the two of us together.
Someone knocked at the back door so I went to see who. It was Winnie.
Girl, why's Carl standing outside the shed like that, don't you know it's pouring outside? Poor thing looks so miserable too, what'd you say to him?
Winnie, he never came home last night. He just sauntered in here about twenty minutes ago, expecting me to have his lunch all ready or something.
He didn't come home again? Why's he always doing that? Duke never does that.
I don't know why he does it but I'm sick of it! So I told him he couldn't sleep here tonight.
You mean you just kicked him out in to the rain? For the entire night? With nothing to eat?
Well, how else am I supposed to teach him a lesson? I deserve to be treated better than that don't I?
Winnie looked doubtful. I guess, she finally said. I just came by to borrow your red scarf. Me and Duke are going to visit my mother in Plattsburgh.
I went to my bedroom, nearly tripping over one of Carl's slippers and got the scarf.
Thanks, girl, she said. She headed for the door but paused. Why don't you make a sandwich for him and I'll take it out to him?
No, way, I put my foot down. He doesn't deserve it.
She shrugged. All right, then I'll call you later. I watched her go. She called good-bye to Carl but he just watched her leave with wide, hurt eyes.
I stood in the doorway for a long time after she left. He looked so lonely. And how long was it supposed to rain for? Was that lightening? What if he couldn't find a dry warm place to sleep for the night? The shed wasn't very big and it was already filled with junk. Finally, my heart melted.
Oh, would you get in here, for Heaven's sake! I called out to him. He got up and took a tentative step towards me.
Come on! I called louder and smiled at him.
He jogged happily to the house and stopped to stand in the middle of the kitchen.
What am I gonna do with you, Carl? I asked him. He grinned at me.
I sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. He came to kneel in front of me and put his head in my lap. He sighed heavily.
What am I gonna do with you? I asked him again.
He kissed me lightly on the cheek and made me laugh.
Hey, I've got a great idea, Carl, how about I grab you a towel and we'll dry you off and then I'll make a fire and we can just hang out watching t.v. . I've got a box of those cookies you like so much.
He grinned at that and we both got up and headed for the bathroom. On the way he brushed a little too close to the end table with my favourite porcelain figure on it. The table wobbled and the figure crashed to the floor to shatter in a thousand pieces. I looked from the broken figure to Carl, totally speechless. He sat down with the shards of porcelain in front of him. I gave him a filthy look. He looked down at the mess, then back at me and barked twice. Code. Carl's code for I'm sorry.
Copyright 2000 Halima Thompson
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